Thursday, August 7, 2008

The Neighbors Continue To Be Amazing

My family moved to Worcester in 1983. What possessed them to move from Pennsylvania to Massachusetts with a six-month-old is utterly beyond me, but they did, and here we are. They have lived in the same house all 25 years, and when we first arrived there, our next door neighbor was this really nice guy who had been living in the house next door all his life. He was a really sweet guy who gave out Good 'N' Plenty every year for Halloween, which everyone hated, thus requiring our parents to more or less frogmarch us up his steps. He also mowed his lawn with one of those old school rotary mowers and trimmed the edges with a giant pair of hand shears. He was a Harvard educated lawyer, and had a passion for high school sports, which he would discuss with us at all possible opportunities. Unfortunately, old age hit him pretty hard, and he eventually was moved to a nursing home. The house went on the market and was a serious fixer-upper...the worse our neighbor's mental problems got, the further he'd let his house slide. It was eventually bought by a nice couple who did a great job renovating it, and then they got divorced, the guy met a new chick, they got married, and she got pregnant, prompting a "okay, we need more space" reaction, so they left, and sold the house to the people living there now.

They are nice people, but they are fond of doing really weird stuff. The first example was the Adventure of the Brazilian Retaining Wall, when they hired a crew of Brazilian guys to come by at night (presumably after their regular jobs) to rebuild a perfectly fine retaining wall. For some reason, these guys only used mortar on half the wall. Then, they started renting or giving space to a couple people, including The Life Coach, whom we are dealing with in today's adventure. The Life Coach is an actual life coach, per Mom's intel, yet her car's contents portray a life of chaos and disorganization, which as I understand it is something life coaches are supposed to fix. My parents and the neighbor up the street have also come home to find her sleeping in her car, parked on the street in front of the house where she lives and presumably has a bed.

Anyway, I ordered my books from the Assumption bookstore, and since I am working all week this week, I asked my Mom to go pick them up for me. About two months ago, a water main broke on a street up the way, conking out water for the bulk of the neighborhood. Since then, the water's been travelling through aboveground pipes and no one has to pay for it. While this has made my parents very happy, the City of Worcester is probably not too thrilled about it, so when I went to pick up my books from Mom today, there was heavy machinery parked on the street and signs all over the place telling you not to park on the street. I turned the corner to go to my parents' and saw this:
Sorry about the blurriness, I didn't want them to come out and hit me with rocks. Even if I could convince them I wasn't taking a picture in order to report them to the authorities, I don't really think it would go to well explaining that I was taking a picture because I thought they were just fantastically, hilariously dumb. I love that they are not only parked on the street, but that they are directly across from a giant backhoe and immediately in front of one of the myriad signs saying "DO NOT PARK." Here's a picture of the sign:

Not really that ambiguous, is it?

1 comment:

  1. [Shrek] I refer the Honorable Lady to the comment I gave some days ago