Monday, August 4, 2008

Grammatical Magic

I've mentioned movie review site Pajiba here before, and every day, they post something called "Pajiba Love," which is a collection of assorted fun stuff from around the Internet. There are frequent links to a blog called FourFour, which never fails to be absolutely, humiliating-myself-at-work-with-laughter, pee-your-pants hysterical. It recently occured to me that I should be reading this blog ALL the time because clearly I love the author with a stupid, desperate kind of love. I'm not even sure how to explain the's written by a guy named Rich who is obsessed with pop culture, particularly music, but to stop there is to miss a ton of hilarity, including guest appearances from his cat, Winston, who is the weirdest looking animal not routinely featured in Ugliest Pet contests.

Anyhoo, I've been slowly and creepily trolling through his entire archive, and just made it to one of the most magical firebombings of the English language I have ever seen with my own personal eyeballs. Rich is a big fan of the HBO documentary (several years old) about Southern kid pageants, Living Dolls, and his favorite personality from the doc is a little girl named Swan Brooner. He made a post that was basically a series of his favorite screen shots of Swan. The magic, however, starts in the comment section. It starts out with general enthusiasm for Swan and Dolls, and then someone named Jonathan appears and it's the most amazing butchery of the language ever. You get it all...abominable spelling, scattershot illogical punctuation, ellipses, bizarre carriage returns, and MOST of all, insight into a beautifully deranged mind. I really do not have the ability to do it justice. Go check it out for yourself - thank me later.

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