Project Runway: Rock 'n' Runway

NB: Every week after Project Runway airs, The Lucy and I trade epic emails to discuss the week's episode. That's what you're reading here...my comments are in blue, and The Lucy chimes in in white.

One of the many, many reasons my fiance is awesome is that he watches Project Runway with me, and he found this somewhat creepily prescient article. His commentary: "talk about nailing it...and having no life." True. Story. As Lucy said, "They have a fucking scoring matrix? A SCORING MATRIX? FOR A TV SHOW?" Yes, yes they do.

In other news, Korto is my new favorite because of her interview..."So, Kenley's a hip hop designer. *eyeball* Yeah. *eyeball*" It was like the whole concept just broke her mind, and all I can say is "I'm with ya, girl." Fucking Kenley, man.

I've always liked Korto, even though sometimes she's borderline annoying. She has talent, sass and says what she thinks, which I always like. Her reaction to Kenley was pretty much right on.

I REALLY loved when Tim came in when all the designers were all done up and the sight before him blew his entire mind. "I forgot why I came in here!" I love you, Tim Gunn!

I <3>

I should probably also confess my deep and abiding love for LL Cool J. I'm not really sure what that's all about but I would watch him read the phone book and be totally psyched about it. I think it's the teeth. I just want to hug him all the time.

LL Cool J is the man, I agree. We were all kind of appalled at the amount of makeup he had on though.

(NB: Truth. Yikes.)

Jerell...funky outfit, somehow both very Jerell and very pop. Kenley WAS working a distinct Britney vibe, and it wasn't just the outfit. I think what Nina and Michael said about there being just the RIGHT amount of naked was dead on. The skin is there but it's not skanky. It hit the look just right, and I love those big chunky bracelets she has! On a side note, just because this is the best example of this week's bunch...have you noticed that the Bluefly Wall o' Accessories is not really working out that well? I feel like in past seasons the shoes and stuff were either in a wide enough array or were more workable, and thus were better matched to the outfits. I mean...they only had a bronze boot? For what a gigantic bitch she is, I do have to admit that she's a very pretty girl. I love her hair like this and I think she should wear it down more. I think that the boob part could have been done a little better, but I agree that Jerell did an awesome job with this challenge by really thinking about what POP means. The Bluefly Wall is filled with ugly stuff...I always focus on the clunky, weird shoes and the strange color choices. They probably sent them the shit that wouldn't sell.
Leanne...okay, um, WOW KORTO'S ASS. Seriously, that shit was amazing. Right on, Korto! I actually really liked this. The color looked great on Korto, and the styling was definitely country without being like...pageant country. Gingham was not eating the outift, I guess is my point. Just a few little classic country touches, then straight up nice outfit. Well done, Leanne. Yay for Korto's ass! I always appreciate it when a girl with some junk in the trunk works it out. I actually thought this looked kind of cheap and was too literal. That gold is just so...blah! I thought the color for the top was good but oh my GOD what was with the styling???????????
Suede...I didn't hate this as much as the judges apparently did, and Suede did NOT deserve the auf. Utter bullshit. I cannot believe I am defending Suede. To be fair, it IS a Jerell-y outfit (GAH, CHEST) but I think it does have a kind of rocker vibe to it. I feel like either Lenny Kravitz or Steven Tyler would wear this...it's that kind of laid back, slightly boho musician feel (though Kravitz would probably staple some fringe or fake wings to it). It looked good on him and I thought it met the challenge admirably, so...whatever, judges. As soon as I saw this I was like "It's so Steven Tyler!" I think if Suede accessorized this it would have helped his cause a bit. It was too bare. It was totally rocker though, and I thought he did a pretty damn good job. Jerell looked cool and rockerish so I don't know what the hell the problem was. Screw you, judges.
Korto...I was happy with this win, because I thought this looked totally great. I think with the punk aesthetic, people don't really think or talk about whether it looks nice on the wearer, but the judges were right on when they mentioned how good the silhouette looked on Suede. I loved the jeans, to the point of kind of wanting to own them, and I really liked how she did the chains...well, everywhere, but particularly on the pants. (I actually found the little criss-crosses on the shirt to be a leeeeettle bit juniors department but not offensively so.) Awesome look, worked for everybody involved AND the challenge. Go Korto and her butt! First of all, floved Suede working it out for her. That was awesome. The silhouette was absolutely perfect for him. This looked like it came right off the rack, completely not home sewn at all, which I think is pretty damn impressive. The distressing on the jeans is amazing and the chains were a great touch. I love that she thought about this. My only complaint was that the shirt looked 80s, but she fixed that with the chains. She deserved the win.
Kenley...I'll be honest here - I see how Kenley thought the pants were hip hop. I don't know why people were acting all "KENLEY YOU ARE CRAZY" about them, because a.) as we all regret knowing, high waists have been in lately and b.) these look like something Nelly would add to the Apple Bottoms line, like, tomorrow. I don't LIKE them and would not have USED them necessarily but I just thought it was dumb to be harping on them when in my view they were the only thing that went right on the outfit. The rest of it...come on. The jewelry and top are straight out of freaking Boca, and the jacket makes no sense, hiphop wise. Fucking lame, Kenley, and moreover, I FUCKING LOVED when she was like "WELL. Hip hop is about ATTITUDE and Leanne is not delivering." First of all...like you're so fucking hiphop, Kenley. Second of all, your shit was weak and Leanne had nothing to do with that. Stop being such an asshole. I also thought that their ripping of the jeans was also kind of not cool. I mean, look at someone like Rihanna...she's more pop with a hip hop twist but the jeans are something she'd wear. So yeah, I agree with you totally. Tailoring on them could have used some work, but whatever. From the high waist up, it was a total fucking disaster. I know of no hip hop person who would be caught dead in a flowered fucking tank, and that jacket sucked. For real. I loved watching Tim tell her off, and I loved how she got a little misty eyed when the judges called her out on her assholishness. She should have been out with this pile of shit.

I am now convinced that Kenley is going to win this show. She should have been aufed two weeks ago, and has continued to suck since then. She is totally one-note but no one has been calling her on this except freaking Jerell. She refuses to adapt her designs in the SLIGHTEST, and does nto innovate, and when people try to get her to do either of these things, she gets defensive and nasty. She's disrespectful to people who have been successful in various aspects of the business for years, like...Michael freaking Kors is not pulling this shit out of his ass, Kenley. Still, through her repulsive behavior, serviceable and cute but totally predictable design, proven inability to innovate, and general grossness, she is still here. Why? My guess? The producers have decided they want her to win (God only knows why), and that's why she's here. Fuck that noise. See, I don't think she's going to win. I think she's going to go to the finals and act like an asshole and come in as runner-up. They need her for the drama because everyone else is kind of laid back and cool. I personally think that Korto wins after seeing her collection. Kenley is good tv...I mean look at how much emotion she illicts from us?? Bravo loves it.

...and then we talked about Russia, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and school. If I did not have The Lucy in my life I would probably die.