Bryant Park Collections: Chris March

So let's talk about Chris' collection, even though it's kind of tough because it's all! So! Freakin'! Dark! You're so right about all these collections being really dark, I don't get it. Seems a lot more fall than spring, and even then, damn.
This reminds me too much of that genre of "crap with weird super-graphic prints on it" that is often found in stores targeted at skanky inner city teenagers, like Rainbow and Rave. While I like the shape fine, it's not anything revolutionary, and the print/picture/whatever does nothing for me. Worst of all: Chris can do better. I do agree that Chris can do better. I don't really have anything to say about this because it's just so blah. It's completely boring.
All I can think of is Helena Bonham Carter. And also how I think I might really like those shoes, but can't really see them. My dislike for any messed-with variety of velvet is getting in my way here, so it's not really doing it for me. Haha! It is very reminiscent of something Helena would wear, isn't it? It's so wintery and dark. It looks kind of Christmasy, for some reason? I don't know. Once again, WTF?

If not for the pants I might like this better, but god, there is a LOT of shit going on there, and it's just too much cognitive dissonance to be overcome by my enjoyment for the shirt (jacket?). I would also like to note that I don't see what the big deal was with the human hair. It's unusual, sure, but frankly I don't think it makes any sense to get all pearl-clutchy over human hair being used (I think, to great effect) on clothing, but not be grossed out by it being sewn onto someone's head. I mean, let's put this shit in perspective, MICHAEL KORS AND YOUR PEARLS, shall we? I also didn't find the human hair to be disturbing at all. I don't like anything about this outfit. The jacket/top kind of looks like a bathrobe to me. Maybe this was supposed to be his pajama look?
Again with a basic dress in a weird print, only this time I don't know what the print is and I hate the styling. Blah Blah Blah, more boring crap.
Fine, neat necklace, expect more from Chris. I like the cut of the jacket and I like the little ruching detail on the bottom of the skirt. The necklace is cool too, but seriously, could this be any more boring?
Why do all his models look so freaking disheveled? I feel like it really doesn't fit with the clothes. I also don't like this business of the skirt being weirdly hiked up at the side...there was another dress like that too that bugged me. I think in Sweet P's stuff?? I guess he was going for that whole messy goth look, like Edward Scissorhands had. This looks like the prom dress that the cheap whore in your class would wear. You know who I'm talking about.
Interesting effect, but I am having the velvet issues again, and the gloves do nothing for me. The neck...brace...thing looks like it was attached wrong...like it's slipping to the right. I do like the effect here. I think it's really pretty, and could be very classy if done in some different fabrics and colors, but it isn't and so you have this. The collar is screwed up, I agree.

Interesting detail...can't tell if its applique or crushing or what, but that's the only thing interesting about this. Agreed. I think the print is cool, other than that, blah.
Okay what...is going on here? Is this a man? Is it CHRIS again? What is this? It's like black velvet military garment in shape, like it escaped from one of those weird places (isn't Italy one?) that have their female police wear stillettos. Except the model is a MAN so the point is MOOT. This look made my gag reflex kick in. Yikes. The model is creepy, the outfit is horrible and I feel as though I'm in the middle of my worst nightmare ever.
How is this in the same collection as the rest of this crap? The cool skirt, the cool necklace, the nice shape of the jacket, and the judicious use of the hair...WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST DO THIS THE WHOLE TIME??? Wooooooo hairy suit! I love this look. I think it's so beautiful. She looks CHIC, not like she's about to stab you. Everything about this is great, including the tights, the shoes and the styling. Indeed, Chris - why didn't you run with this kind of look?
AGAIN! This is cool, I think...and the movement of the hair skirt was so awesome. Don't love the styling 100% but the overall look I just think is very cool. So pretty! Once again, she looks elegant. I even like the gloves with this.
This didn't do anything for me in the Pick Three routine, and it doesn't now...just not the oomph he needs to close the show, and although the whole show was in pretty dark and deep colors, this seems really REALLY severe, to the point that I don't think it fits. Blech. I think if he used the concept that he used in the red dress with the belt by maybe playing with a different shade of black or using a different fabric, this would have been pretty. But yeah, it is severe. By the way, I hate this model.

All that being said, I really expected more and differently of Chris. I think he psyched himself out, because this has none of his usual bouyant, happy self in it. He gave himself over too completely to the dark corners of his personality. Bummer. Sure we won't have heard the last of him, though. I think Chris' whole problem was that he didn't want to come off as a costume designer, but you know what? That's who he is. I think he tried so hard not to be too costumey that it ended up happening anyway, but at the bad end of the spectrum. It's like, something can look costumey yet still be cool, but something can be costumey and look cheap. I also think he kind of gave up and said screw it, I'm doing whatever I want. He's definitely talented and he was my favorite designer this season. I just love him and really hope that he continues to be successful.