Today In Things On My TV

First of all, I watched a re-run of How Do I Look this morning and received some humiliation for my troubles. SIDE NOTE: I am in love with Zappos. This story really requires pictorial assistance to be effective, and Zappos was there for me with every order I have ever made from them. That being said, on April 24th of 2004 (hah! Go Zappos.) I ordered "Aaliyah" from Gabriella Rocha. They look like this: ...only I got them in black and pink. I realize that they are a bit strippertastic, but they are the kind of strippertastic that can be ameliorated with some skillful dressing, plus I think everyone can see how I would be helpless against the charms of this particular shoe...shiny, tall, pointy, unique, stable support-y ankle strap. I HAVE A PROBLEM, OKAY? God.

Anyway, I was watching How Do I Look. For those of you who have not seen the show, the fashion victim's clothing is critiqued by two friends or family members and a professional stylist, then particularly offensive items are thrown out (as opposed to the full-wardrobe purge of shows like What Not To Wear). Each "Accomplice" is then given a set budget to buy three outfits to start the fashion victim on their new path to fabulousness. The accomplices also select new hair and makeup. The fashion victim tries on all three collections, then chooses their favorite, and then there is lots of hugging. In this particular episode, there was some pretty heinous shit brewing in the victim's wardrobe, so I'm getting all into it..."yeah. YEAH! Don't just throw that out, BURN IT! YEAH!"

Riiiight up until the point where they hauled out the shoes pictured up above.

And trashed them.

Amidst GREAT derision.

Awww, sad.

Luckily I got over it and did not die of shame, because if I had, I would have missed watching about a third of SNAKES ON A PLANE and let me tell you, my life would be SO BAD had that happened. I have been watching for five minutes and had to stop to send the following to School Friend Cindy:

Josie: Oh...my god. I am watching Snakes on a Plane in order to expand my knowledge of the zeitgeist and it is the most idiotic thing I have ever seen and I LOVE IT
Josie: Someone just proposed everyone going upstairs - IN A PLANE - because it's "safer up there"
Josie: Because as you and I both know
Josie: Snakes cannot get upstairs
Josie: In other news, snakes have night vision, like, greenlit army style night vision
Josie: And eat humans

School Friend Cindy was quiet a while, then was all "I am going to watch Citizen Kane with my Harvard graduate brother," at which point I described the situation as "staring down the barrel of the dichotomy of our friendship."

I get excited about shit like this all the time, and she still hangs out with me...IN PUBLIC. This is why for the past 24 hours or so my away message has been a declaration that she is one of the best things to come out of my attendance at Assumption. Seriously, if you had a friend who would sometimes walk into a somewhat large public area and start talking to you about (for instance) Snakes On A Plane, and starting sentences with "OH. MY. GOD CINDY. I HAVE A STORY FOR YOU ABOUT " to the amusement of all around you, would you continue hanging out with that person? No, you would not, and for good reason. And yet School Friend Cindy continues to do so. Is she crazy? Maybe! I am not dumb enough to question. That movie is seriously SO BAD that I HAVE to watch the whole thing. There is nothing about it that is not bad...the acting, the logic, the plot, the...connection to reality? It's all HORRIBLE and it is horrible in the AWESOMEST WAY POSSIBLE.

SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER

They get rid of the snakes by SHOOTING OUT THE WINDOWS OF THE PLANE. The snakes are resultingly sucked out via air pressure from throughout the plane. I DARE you to find something not awesome about that.

END SPOILER