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Last night, my sister called me while I was at my Totally Awesome And Not At All Dorky Candlepin Bowling League, so I got all excited and assumed she was in town and wanted me to buy alcohol for her or something. Not exactly preparing to wrassle Reagan for the title of "The Great Communicator," that one. So anyway, she calls me, and by some miracle I hear my humiliating ringtone rocking out, and we have the following conversation.

Me: Hey! What's up?
Sarah: Hey. Are you pregnant?
Me: Am I PREGNANT? No. Are you high?
Sarah: Wellllllll, Alicia saw your Facebook status and she said she thought you were pregnant.
Me: I...don't even know what status she could be talking about. The only one I remember from today was when I said I was living on the edge by microwaving my lunch in styrofoam.
Sarah: Okay, well I was just hoping if you were pregnant you would tell me first.

Then we talked about what we were doing that night and hung up. I remained confused throughout bowling and for the drive home. Speed and I sat down and started watching a back episode of American Gladiators (YES we're contributing to the decay of Western culture, back off), and all of a sudden, it comes to me.

I have been panicking about my upcoming Italian III course for several reasons. First, I am losing awesome prof RoMa, and thus will be facing an unknown quantity. I fear that said quantity will not appreciate my tendency to respond to requests for the use of reflexive verbs with variations of "fuck" or my policy of masking ineptitude with snide remarks. Secondly, I've been researching grad schools and Ph.D programs, and all of them want some degree of ability in a foreign language. I think my French is beyond timely resucitation at the moment, and I'm knee deep in Italian, so continuing seems to make the most sense. Most of all, Italian is kicking my ass. I AM a language person, and particularly a romance language person, but oh...my lord, am I bad at Italian. I'm not even sure why. In any case, the irritating textbook we used did not help, and it was from this book that I was making an extensive, mildly alarming vocab study guide (I have decided that my main issue is vocab...I am reasonably confident about conjugation, etc., but my Italian vocabulary sucks). I noted on my Facebook status that I thought this textbook kind of sucked.

That my Italian textbook sucked.

My Italian textbook that is called Prego.

I posted a new status on Facebook that explained that PREGO is not the same as PREGGO, and that I am definitely NOT PREGGO, not that I am that in love with Prego, either. Since then, a bunch of people have written comments on my wall to the effect of "oh PHEW, I didn't want to say anything." So now we know how people will react if I ever DO wind up pregnant...with stunned and slightly alarmed silence. HIGH FIVE, FRIENDS!