Stewing Roosters

So, speaking of awesome stories, I keep forgetting to write this up. At the end of May, Celia popped up on my Gmail chat and said the following.

i love freecycle
i might get some stewing roosters (if they're cleaned) for free
some lady a town over raises them
and didn't have room in her freezer

So naturally, my response was...what the fuck is a stewing rooster? I am no master cook...I blame feminism, personally, but feel free to point fingers as necessary. I was cautiously enthusiastic, then asked, "getting food off freecycle doesn't weird you out?" She rightly pointed out that they are in a pretty farm-heavy area, so it's not as odd as people putting food up there as it would be in, say, Boston. Fair enough. The boss in my previous department has a fabulous organic garden and every summer it kind of explodes on him, turning him into a vaguely menacing veggie pusher. He'd come in with a trailerload of lettuce, and people would take a couple heads, because it's...lettuce, and then a couple hours later he'd show up in my office all "did you take some lettuce? Because you should take some lettuce," and then a bag of EXTRA BACKUP LETTUCE would mysteriously get hung on my doorknob when I was out of the office. So...farms = surplus sometimes, okay.

We cleared up the stewing rooster confusion (older, less tender rooster better for stewing than rotisserie), I mentioned I was not personally ready for the Freecycle Poultry Experience, she kind of agreed, and then she informed me that she'd emailed the Freecycler to see if they were cleaned and how big they were. At this point, I advised her that they should come pre-dead, also. She replied - AND I QUOTE, THANKS TO GMAIL - "i'm sure they're pre-dead. they were listed as 'stewing roosters.'" I cautioned that "you never know with these farm folk," and then work and kids and such intervened and the convo ended.

I forgot about the stewing roosters until Freecycle came up again about a week later, when we talked again.

Me: Also, did you get the roosters?
Celia: no
they were alive
lol
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAH
I TOLD YOU TO ASK IF THEY WERE PREDEAD
Celia: and I did
and they weren't

AWESOME. Someone put their NON-DEAD ROOSTERS on Freecycle. Is that not that awesomest goddamn thing you have ever heard? I love how weird people are. I just. Love it. These people? Can vote. And even better? I bet that someone took those roosters, and THOSE people can vote, too! THIS IS A GREAT FUCKING COUNTRY, IS IT NOT?

Adding to this whole extravaganza was that between the first and second conversations, I had some kind of exhaustion driven laughing fit that lasted for the better part of two days. I still can't really explain it, but let me tell you, it got ridiculous. I was looking at completely un-funny, inanimate objects that had been on the desk all day without moving, and bursting into crippling laughter. After the Undead Chicken Revelation, I started cracking up again, probably giving everyone around me great cause for concern that another epic laughing fit was incoming.