Makeup Is Easy: Back to the Future

I forgot to take pictures yesterday, so of course about ninety seven people were all "I love your makeup!" I used the same colors today and DID take pictures so I could pass the intel along since this seems to be a winner.

I have a really hard time wearing blue eyeshadow, because I have some darker coloring under my eyes that tends to pop out when I wear blue. If that stuff smudges at ALL, I'm going to look dead, and no one wants that. Other skin issue dealt with in this episode of Makeup Is Easy...lip color. I used to have extremely strong lip color, and it seems to be fading, so now I need a little something just to get to the original color I had.

I have a couple nefarious zits this week, so I used a little bit of Prescriptives concealer and topped it with their mineral liquid foundation that I bought from the most irritating woman in the world at Macy's. Not a lot of boundaries, that woman, but she did hook me up with this foundation and the Strawberry lipstick from a previous post, so I guess I can't complain about the fact that she should DEFINITELY be telling fortunes and selling weird crystals out of her house. Concealer, foundation, and topped off with Body Shop Nature's Minerals powder. I can't remember if I have mentioned this before, but I also use a Prescriptives anti-redness lotion on my cheeks and across my brow line. I have just a sconch of rosacea in those areas, and it evens me right out. It's about $50 for a tube but it lasts forever and actually works, so if you have the same problem I would be comfortable recommending it.
I got a sample of Too Faced's Shadow Insurance from the nice peeps at Sephora with my last order, so I gave that a whirl today. So far it's hanging in there and I did notice better hold and smoother application as I was applying color. (I think a lot of people, if they use shadow primer, use the Urban Decay one in that little genie bottle, which is cool but is a bitch to get out of the tube. I understand that they have reworked the design of it, so I should probably give it another chance.) I would recommend this primer confidently as long as you know what you want to achieve. If you're just starting out with eyeshadows, give yourself a little time to figure out your own best techniques before you bring a primer into it. I know we're a society of convenience, but reapplication is not a big deal and if that's the worst thing you have to do in a day then you're way ahead of the game. The point of makeup is to look good, not be stuck all day with your early morning, uncaffienated boo-boos.
Can I take a brief side note here and call attention to the color of my eyes in this picture and like, every other closeup morning picture ever? I point this out particularly for Cindy, because every now and then I am all "HAH GREEN EYES TODAY, YOU SEE?" and she's like "...no, Jos." I just want to point out that there are in fact times when this happens, and that my eyes are jerks because by the time I try to prove that there is green in there, they have gone completely brown again. I don't know what the hell this is about but I do not like it.
What we have here is a blue mix that is sparkly and thus not as under-eye-color enhancing. I started with a base of First Class Con, then used Proud and Patriotic on the lid. The whole lid and right into the crease is covered, which you can only partly see because I am weirdly squinty today. I layered Magic Hats over it, blending just up over the orbital bone and into the hollow of my tear duct. To bring up the color a bit and lighten the whole affair, I swept this awesome pinky-orangey gold color called Glee Club Dropout over the top of the blues and into the browline.

We all know about color wheels, right? Here's a quick and dirty rundown of what to mix with what. Think of an empty pie chart and break it into six pieces. The three primary colors are red, yellow and blue, and those go in alternating sections. You have a pie with red, yellow and blue in three of six sections with white between them. Now fill in the mixes you would get by combining the colors...between red and yellow, you get orange. Yellow and blue, green. Blue and red, purple. Whatever color you pick will be complimented by the one directly opposing it in the pie you just drew in your head. Today's makeup combo pops because I accented the blue shadows with the orange tones of the gold. I have also done blue looks where I threw a little flame of orange in my tear duct hollow to bring up the color. Play around with this!

Clockwise from top left: Proud and Patriotic, Magic Hats, Glee Club Dropout and Lipstick Queen Medieval lipstick

For my lip problem as mentioned above, I used Lipstick Queen's Medieval lipstick. The color is based on the medieval tradition of coloring your lips with lemon because full color lipstick was taboo, and it really is a lovely light color that adapts to your skin tone. It's just enough to make your lip visible but not flashy and thus competitive with your eyeshadow. You really only want to highlight one feature unless you're doing huge show makeup, so this is a good compromise. If you think about it, your head is actually quite small, and your face even more so. That's why you want to limit yourself to one feature for day...any more and it gets very Mimi.

More Stuff I Like (Now Phthalate Free!)

Today is the day I really like things I have been mean to repeatedly over time. I am probably too judgmental but what can I say, it's all part of my charm.

As we know, my 3-of-7-day(s) job is at an energy conservation company that I totally love. One may assume that this means I am into all kinds of hippie crap like not washing my hair and using those reusable grocery bags and riding a recumbent bike to work and stuff, but unfortunately this is not true. It's not totally false - I do try and keep my environmental impact low by recycling and keeping lights turned off that I'm not using, etc., but when it comes to certain things, I put on my Arrogant Douchebag Hat and say "gimme the chemicals, baby!" The main place this pops up is in my makeup and bath stuff, unlike that used by Celia who is way better about reading labels and not coating her body with deadly, deadly poison. She's always recommending these fabulous products to me and I get really excited about them for about thirty seconds and then invariably wind up running in to the Brooks Pharmacy in a rush and buying something that actually has a label on it saying "this is full of active irritants" or whatever and not the thing made out of plants that's way better.

When I do manage to buy things that are made of plants, it's very exciting for me when they work because then I can tell Celia I bought something that's not radioactive, and the relationship flourishes. Such is the case with the J.R. Watkins Shea Butter Body Cream that I bought on Wednesday while en route to the Booster Banquet to defend against the peeling that is happening on one of my arms (thanks, weird body). Here's the reality, people - I am a sucker for old timey packaging. I saw this on the shelf and it was a done deal. It is merely by chance that it works well and is magically green. It's paraben, dye and phthalate free, and it's super moisturizey and smells good. Apparently Bath and Body Works does currently or once did sell it and you can also buy it on their online store, but as I said above, I bought it at regular old Walgreens. The thing about the smell though...well. Do you remember those Girl Scout sandwich cookies with the picture of the Swiss Chalet on the top cookie that had a little place for the filling to squish out so it looked like the sun? Yeah, this stuff smells like that.I guess today is also the day I talk about sugar based products because the other new thing I love is Pink Sugar by Aquolina, which Sephora sent me as a sample. Those bastards. Anyway, I liked the packaging on this, too- it came wrapped like a candy in a festive little packet. However, I have never really felt that drawn to Pink Sugar (Sephora features it frequently), so soon after receiving it, I was talking to Cindy and said "now, I like cotton candy and all, but I have to admit that I've never been particularly inclined to want to smell like it." Here's a secret about me...if you leave me near cosmetics long enough, eventually that shit is getting put on my person. So I tried the sample and it smells fantastic on me. I don't know why. I assume physics has something to do with it. But I love it and now understand why Sephora's always on about it.

Did You Know?

I am usually a couple weeks behind on web-trivia like this, but School Friend Cindy sent me this clip a week or so ago, and I have really enjoyed watching it and kind of mulling it over. Check it out and see what you think.

Miscellany

Scene: Chapel of the Holy Spirit, Assumption College, Worcester, MA. The crucified Jesus hangs suspended over the altar, flanked by the gorgeous organ pipes. The sopranos are called to the front of the nave.

Josie: *makes a "snap...pull" motion*
Cindy: I love when you do things like that.
Josie: You mean black people things?
Cindy:....um, yes.
Josie: It's okay, Jesus says it's okay. He told me.
__________________________________________________

Celia sent me a link to an article about idiots at the FAA talking about expanding O'Hare and Midway even more, or even adding a third airport to the area to meet increasing demand. I have the following comment.

It just amazes me because like...TEXAS
Has tons of space, right
But you know what Texas does not have?
LAKE EFFECT SNOW

Also, the mere mention of an O'Hare expansion strikes terror into my very soul. Listen people, eventually, travelers are going to STOP ESCAPING FROM O'HARE if you keep this shit up. I am STILL getting over the time I flew United out of there via a waiting area with four gates off of it, each gate loading two planes. Did I mention that the big, beautiful flat screens were broken and thus displaying information about flights that had left eons ago?
____________________________________________

Apropos of more or less nothing:

Josie: WOW
Josie: Cindy
Josie: We have to go to Baltimore
Josie: *links to image below*
Cindy: "we have to go to Baltimore"
Cindy: that is NOT belize
Josie: I know
Josie: That being said, it does have that amazing stained glass, a.)
Cindy: we have to go Baltimore...for a stained glass window....
Josie: b.) it is actually a pretty neat town
Josie: c.) it has camden yards
Josie: and d.) there were really nice homeless people there who helped me get home when Greyhound thought Annapolis and Baltimore were the same and I was stuck in the city in full formal wear
It IS amazing though, right?

Remember.

I went to a candlelight prayer group last night at Assumption for September 11th. I spent most of the day tearing up about things anyway..."God bless America" on the Boston Billiards Club sign, a gleaming new flag on a house near my parents, one of the HR ladies bringing in little American flags and handing them out gradually and without fanfare. I went to work, I went to Frank, I went to Chapel Choir and sang "You Raise Me Up." Then I went to the candlelight vigil.

This is the year it finally hit me...I'm not ever going to feel better about it.

I was tearing up before the bulk of the prayer group had even started. There were maybe 30 people there. I talked last week about the historical reference gap, and intellectually I know that September 11th isn't the event it is to me to everyone else. But I mean...shouldn't there be more people? Shouldn't we still be coming out in droves to remember and think and bear witness? On the way back, School Friend Cindy and I were talking a little bit about this, about my experience on that day and the ones that followed, and about why we don't really talk about it or analyze it anymore. I said that it was for going after Iraq full throttle after throwing a few rocks at Afghanistan that I would never forgive Bush for. I got so insanely angry, just talking and thinking about it. I got so incredibly sad. It was 7 years ago, and I still feel such unbelievably intense emotion that it freaks me out a little.

I kind of thought, once I moved back here and once we started to get free of the immediate aftermath, that someday, it would get better. I don't know that that's possible. I have never had an event in my life so confusing or traumatic, so I guess I just thought that someday, it would heal. Single people I know have died, but there were reasons for that...old age, illness, depression. They don't help undo what happened, but at least in time the reasons help wear down the intensity.

So what do I do? I guess I just keep waking up. I guess I just have to keep learning more, hopefully finding a way to change things. I guess I keep wearing black on September 11th. I don't know what else there is. I guess all there is left to do is try.

Every year, there is an update on Tomato Nation on a man named Don. Here is his story. Pass it along. I also recommend reading "For Thou Art With Us."

OPERATION FIND DON
The latest news is that there is no news; if I hear anything, I will let you know, but I haven't heard anything…and it's starting to look like I won't. I don't think I would recognize Don if I saw him on the street, anymore; I doubt he would remember me, especially now that my hair is so different. It's also possible that Don does not in fact want to be found, or that he's in the Yukon or something, but I've done the paid name/birthday searches and I've hoped that six degrees of separation would loop around, and I still haven't turned him up.Thanks again to everyone who's mentioned it on sites they run or frequent, or to friends of theirs in the media, and to everyone who's sent words of support. I appreciate it. If you hear anything, or you want to mention it on your blog, please feel free — you never know.

Don: A (Very Very) Brief History
Don is a man I met on September 11, 2001. Don and I became "disaster buddies," and ever since, I've wanted to thank him for hanging out with me and helping me keep it together — but I haven't seen or heard from him since we parted ways late that morning.What Don Looks/Looked LikeDon is an African-American man. I would estimate his age at between 25 and 35 on that day — probably not younger than that; possibly older, but not much. That means he's 30-ish to 40 now. Don is between 5'9" and 6' tall, and probably weighed 160-180 pounds. (I suck at estimating men's weights.) In any case, at that time Don had a fit build — not pudgy, not skinny, well put-together. Don had short hair and a goatee at that time. I do not recall any jewelry; he may have worn a watch, I don't remember. No glasses. Don had on a grey windowpane-plaid suit and was carrying a black soft-sided briefcase. Don didn't really resemble anyone famous, except Blair Underwood around the eyes a little bit.

Other Possibly Relevant Facts
Don and I met in the lobby of the Bank of New York building, located roughly at Wall Street and Broadway. We left the bank together at approximately 11 that morning. Don lived at that time in Jersey City, or thereabouts — he took the ferry to Jersey City to get home, from a slip somewhere around Hester Street on the west side. Don had come into the city that morning via the PATH train, and had gotten off at the World Trade Center stop. He had come into the city for work, but I don't remember whether his business that day was actually at the WTC complex; I don't believe it was. If he had gotten separated from any work colleagues, he didn't mention it. I don't know what he did for a living, and I don't know if his job was based in Jersey City or in lower Manhattan, but I got the impression that he was in the city for an errand or meeting, and that he didn't regularly commute in. As I said, I don't recall a wedding ring; Don did not mention a wife or any other family at that time as far as I can remember. Don's birthday is September 11. No idea what year, but based on my estimate of his age it's probably in the late sixties or seventies.

Why You Should Care
Because it's a mystery, a puzzle, a story that needs an end. Because Don is everything good and friendly about the world. Because I owe him my thanks, and possibly a cold beer. Because it's his birthday.

What You Can Do
Do you know anyone in Jersey City, or anyone who lives or works near there? Have you heard a story like mine — secondhand, thirdhand, on someone's journal? Do you recall reading or hearing anywhere about people who ran for the Bank of New York, walked uptown a bit, and took a ferry to New Jersey? Post in the comments, or email me at sars at tomatonation dot com.And if you are in fact Don? Well, don't just sit there. Show yourself. My mom's friend swears you were an angel and she'll keep believing that shit until I can prove otherwise. Suggestions? Clues? Conspiracy theories? Send 'em my way. I'll add any new information as it comes in. In short: Don. He's still out there. And he's another year older.

Project Runway: Good Queen Fun

Dear RuPaul,

STOP FUCKING WITH YOUR FACE!

Love,

Me

Yikes, dude. There was some scary shit going on there. I enjoy RuPaul generally but she was NOT looking her hottest last night. Maybe she felt like she needed to tone it down to judge? I like my RuPaul with insane platinum blonde hair, less obvious facial surgery, and significantly more insanity.

Ok, I cannot agree with you more about RuPaul. Seeing her look all plasticky and shitty made me feel really sad, because I was all about her in the 90s when she looked FABULOUS. Just awful.

Chris of course was fabulous...I liked how he had to stay very very still to keep that hat from going wonky on him, and also the "I knew him from his laugh" moment, which was very cute. I want him to be my friend in the WORST way.

Cindy and I were walking out of the gym and had a convo in the parking lot that made me consider what we sound like to the outside world, to wit:

Cindy: Do we know what the challenge is?
Josie: I don't know, I try not to check them.
C: Yeah. Okay, see ya.
J: OH! Yes we do! Drag queens!
C: OH YEAH!
J: And it's the gay Jurassic Park thing!
C: YAY!
J: And CHRIS MARCH! You are going to LOVE Chris!
C: I will take your word for it.
J: Yay!

Then we drove out of the parking lot, and then when we came to a stop light, Cindy waved at me and I smashed the shit out of my hand on the sunroof because I forgot it was closed. I CONTINUE MY REIGN OF AWESOMENESS.

Last night I was talking with my hands (fughedaboudit) and I nearly cut a hole in my eyebrow with the nail on my thumb, so yeah. I know all about that kind of stuff.

Blayne...the great thing is that this DOES look like something out of a gay Jurassic Park...but this is maybe the only challenge where that is OKAY! Again, Blayne does the same 80's vomit, neon and black, vibrant extravaganza of puff, but it totally gels with the challenge at large and Miss Understood's look specifically. The structural failure of the wings was fine by me, since as you know I am having issues with liking Blayne's stuff as much as I do. He did well by this challenge, I think. I thought this was the perfect pairing, as Blayne's aesthetic and Miz Understood's look were basically made for one another. I thought this look had a real sense of humor, which I really enjoyed. Blayne is so a one trick though, and although he's growing on my because he's kind of funny, I don't know how much longer he's going to be around.

Terri...I loved everything about this look for Acid Betty! I don't know how the hell Terri lost. This worked perfectly with Acid Betty's look, and it was cool as hell even independently of AB's whole persona. It's just so crazy and bright and kickass....somehow both totally about everything drag is and completely unique. Love it. No idea how it didn't win. I was so angry when this didn't win! Terri is robbed again. I'm kind of hoping she's like Jay in that she is consistently good, gets passed over for wins but ends up taking the whole thing. I thought this was ultra creative, insanely well made and overall, just perfect.
Daniel...what a win/win that bottom two was, eh? Two irritating weirdoes, two boring ass designs. The colors were fine on this dress Daniel made for Annita Greenkard but dude...she's a drag queen. It CAN be pretty, but if "pretty and subtle" is the main hallmark of the dress, you've fucked up somewhere. Needs more crazy. I LOVED the "sequins are gaudy" defense that Daniel mounted. Talk about more proof that he's a spacey weirdo. How can you even THINK the phrase "sequins are gaudy" when in the last 48 hours you have been in the same room with a MAN wearing a crotch-high dress with a SEQUINNED FROG FACE ON IT??
I am exponentially happy that Daniel is finally gone. I thought this was too boring for a drag queen, and although it's pretty, totally inappropriate for the challenge. I was never really a fan of his stuff and was quite tired of his whining, so I was only too happy to see him go.
Joe...I think he won this on superb tailoring, because I will hand it to him...dang. Varla Jean here turned around at the end of the runway and Rich and I BOTH let out Friday-style "daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn"s. Gloves look at the fit on this outfit and say, "whoa." The whole thing is just so nutty and weird and great. The strange thing for me, though, and this is part of why I didn't get Joe winning over Terri, was that I didn't feel it particularly meshed with Varla Jean's whole vibe. I mean, she came out in that crazy ass Southern Belle get up and that was her whole schtick...the jump to sailor suit seems weird and not quite ideal to me. I too thought Joe did a great job, but I don't think this was in any way, shape or form better than Terri's. Yeah, it's fun and stuff, but as far as creativity goes, it's not even close. I think they picked him to win because he's the straight guy, and isn't that ironic. I think part of why he won was also that Varla worked the hell out of that look on the runway, and totally sold it. She looked happy and seemed as though she loved it so I'm sure that it helped just a little bit. (By the way, Rich saying dayum at a drag queen has slain me.)
Keith...I could have been down with Keith going, too. I will also note that I found Sherry Vine to be the most alarming of the ladies...there was some weird face action going on. The hair, though, was magnificent. There are bridges with less structural elements. I hated this much less than everyone else did, but I am also having some Shredded Shit Fatigue, so I guess I understand it. I don't know if it was the combo of hair and outfit but it gave off a distinct Cruella DeVil vibe to me. I was not that enthused about it in re: the visibility of underwear but after reading Tim's blog on Bravo's site I understand that the visible underwear is something of a theme with Ms. Vine so I will allow it. Oh look, Keith did another shredded piece of shit...what a surprise. Another one tricker. I really did not like this look, and I really don't like Keith. I do agree that her hair is pretty spectacular, but honestly, this kind of makes her look like a tramp, and I mean that in the poor British dude in 1890s way.
Jerell...I found LaMay to be kind of a lame queen as it was but this didn't do much to help. It looks like one of those heinous sequinned gowns that old ladies wear to the opera mated with some kind of excessively formal hiking outfit. These two particular textures just were not doing it for me and I found the collar to be kind of weird and lame. This is the queen who I found to be the scariest looking. She has no neck! She looks like some weird sort of drawing on playing cards! I was not really all that into this because it was just so strange to me, the colors are drab and it just doesn't say "fun."

Korto....how cool were the funky shoulder whosies? I love the colors and the whole effect, though I think the dress really needed the detachable thing. I didn't find the dress sans skirt to be all that thrilling. Sweetie was rocking the hell out of this though, she clearly loved it. *scampers off to make some sequinned shoulder tendrils* I loved this look. I thought it was over the top and fabulous, and those shoulder things reminded me of jester hats, which is always good. She totally loved it, she looked amazing and I think this was a great look for a drag queen.
Leanne...Leanne is like one giant human mood swing for me. I forget she exists basically for every moment she is not onscreen, then I see her, and immedately ramp into disproprtionate rage over the fact of her hair and stupid hipster glasses. Turns out I'm kind of a jerk. In any case, I was surprised that this Sharon Needles getup didn't get more love...it totally fits her persona and is pretty goddamn cool in and of itself. I would also like to note that I VERY MUCH ENJOY that the old school Divine hyper-arched V eyebrow with spraypaint-enamel up to THERE is still in full effect. Rock it, Sharon! I also really loved this look. I thought it rocked, I loved the colors and the construction. It's really quite impressive. So much fun! I also have weird feelings about Leanne, but she doesn't annoy me as much as Kenley does.
Kenley...yeah, okay. More Cruella, but I think significantly short of the craziness that this challenge allows. Fit was fine, feathers were adequately swishy. I think that the glamour girl thing is Farrah Moans' thing, but if she's going Marilyn, I personally would enjoy seeing a famous Marilyn outfit (the Some Like It Hot number springs immediately to mind) completely dragged out and juiced up on the sequin roids. I dunno...it's fine but didn't really do anything all that exciting for me. This is pretty much a meh. It's a regular dress with a feather collar. Wow. Lots of imagination there. My Kenley hate grows.
Suede...so, Hedda Lettuce...kind of hot, no? Like, kind of great looking woman? I agree that the outfit WAS looking kind of Godzilla to begin with, but I think Suede is a pretty good editor. He has taken snippets of advice before pretty well. That being said, I still was more sold on Hedda IN it than the actual outfit. Fit her character well and worked, but again, like Farrah up there, it wasn't a total face-melting level of awesome. I think Hedda looked pretty, because she is pretty, although I'm not feeling the ultra dark hose. Whatever. It did look a little lizardy but I think Suede did a good job of working it over and making it less...Godzillaish. I'm also kind of liking Suede because he's pretty diplomatic and can take criticism well, but he can shove "wackadoodle" right up his ass.
Stella...I've seen a couple people slamming this outfit, but I don't know that it's so horrid. I don't know that it's an exact hit on Louisa Verde's style, but I think it's well executed and she looks great in it. Still, Stella is continuing to make some kind of leathergrommetlacingblack confection regardless of challenge and I fear that does not bode well for her, which is sad I love her crazy ass now. This isn't mind-blowing either, but I like it fine and Louisa clearly felt great in it. I had a feeling Stella would do something like this...a look with leather and very little imagination. I didn't think it fit the queen's style either, but it looks very well made. It's too edgy for Louisa, I think.

Two more notes: Pretty much everyone I've discussed with agreed that one of the most interesting parts of the challenge was when the ladies came in sans makeup. I think since the makeup and hair is SO crazy over the top, I always expect drag queens to look particularly distinctive even without it, but they were such a mixed bag. Very cool. That was by far my favorite part of the show. It was hilarious to see these guys putting on this very over the top glittery stuff. So funny. And Awesome.

Cindy was BEGGING for there to be an "awesome comments" section of the Jos 'n' Lucy show and I agree that this was an EXCEPTIONAL episode for commentary...the "it looks like a sad chicken" comment was great, and I also really enjoyed Michael Kors' throwaway comment on wanting Terri's insane boots! Hahahaha @ Michael. Like I said, he can't design worth shit but his comments are awesome. Speaking of awesome comments, I don't know if you saw Tony Bourdain last night, but he actually quoted a Yo Gabba Gabba song (seriously...best kids' show ever. It's an acid trip with techno music thumping in the background) which nearly made me shit my pants. I flove him.

Stop Trying to Make Fetch Happen. It's NOT Going to Happen.

After a nice weekend of low key and thus great hanging out, I have a brief miscellany report. It's a lazy Monday, and I don't have any long, ambling political babble for you (yet). The best I can do right now is to offer up some Things That Are Great for your enjoyment, which really...not bad for a Monday.

Pens
I am a writing snob. This is unavoidable. I love stationery and spend a lot of time over at Smythson fantasizing about which set of bespoke stationery or which gorgeous leather writing desk I'm going to buy when the whole Winning The Lottery Plan pans out. When my parents went to Italy some years ago and brought back beautiful writing papers from Il Papiro, my life as a writer was changed forever. When we went to Italy last year, Il Papiro was the store I spent the most money in...this in a country known for shoes. I'm just saying.

For all this "it's all about the craaaaaahft" type posturing on my part, I have a weird affection for regular, run of the mill, totally unsnazzy blue Papermate ballpoint pens. I almost always write in blue ink, and I particularly like the shade that Papermate uses. I also find that these pens routinely write smoothly and that the barrel is comfortable. Mostly because I like these pens so much, when you say "Papermate," I think only of a blue plastic ballpoint. However, last week, our Office Max people came in and gave my boss two Papermate Ph.D pens, one of which she in turn gave to me. I usually have a hard time with pens that have large barrels, and squishy grippy areas often make my fingers crampy, but this Ph.D pen is fantastic. No cramping, nice writing, good weight. Nice work, Papermate people! (According to their website, the grip is endorsed by the "American Physical Theraphy Association," so that's something, right? SHAME, Papermate web editors!)

I can't end the discussion of pens without mentioning the MAGIC Cross fountain pen that Mom and Dad gave me for Christmas this past year. When I was younger, I went through a fountain pen phase, which basically meant my hands were black and blue all the time from spilling cheap fountain ink all over creation. You really need to invest in your fountain pens, and being in high school at the time, I usually either had no money or was busy investing it in bulk shipments of body glitter and ill-advised makeup (high school was such a strange, scary time in retrospect, no?), so I bought cheap fountain pens that leaked like a mofo and did not achieve the desired effect of instant suaveitude and fabulousity that I had hoped for. THIS pen however, accomplishes all that and more, and I am pretty much one step away from actually sleeping with it under my pillow at all times. The pen in question is the Cross Century II Starlight fountain pen, and I have it in the midnight blue shown below.

Shoes
I went to the Solomon Pond Mall with School Friend Cindy this Saturday, breaking a years-long tradition of staying as far away as possible from it in order to avoid the more irritating high school alums. There's really no way to say this without sounding like a jerk, but the fact of the matter is that every time I go to Solomon Pond, I don't run into the select few people from high school that I would LIKE to see. I inevitably run into the people who I either hated or just didn't care for, and these people ALWAYS want to catch up on our entire lives from graduation to the present. I don't mean to be rude, but...we weren't tight in high school, you don't actually care what I've been up to, and even if you've received some kind of blow to the head that made you all Super Empath and you do care, I don't really care what you've been up to. I know exactly how this sounds - snobbish and jerky - but I don't really like malls as it is (sensory overload) and I prefer to get in and get out, so the addition of 20 minutes of catching up with someone who I didn't really give a rip about in high school is unwelcome to say the least. That all being said, the Solomon Pond Mall has really progressed since I had last been there, and it was fun to wander around with School Friend Cindy and boggle over the fact that there is now a COACH there as well as a White House/Black Market. Who knew?

There is also an Aldo, which was selling a covered platform stiletto called Atlanticcity that was magic. School Friend Cindy got to see my shoe shopping technique, which is to stare weirdly at the shoe for roughly forever while picking it up and putting it down over and over again before finally trying them on and standing up, but not usually walking around. The color of these was particularly glorious...not too bright a red, not too dark, not too dull. I am also a big fan of classic looks with little modern details...in this case, the covered platform, funky toe shape, and interestingly cut toe box. I'm a big fan of Irregular Choice, and one of the things I like is their use of different toe box shapes - rather than your standard scooped or pointed cut, they curve right around where your foot starts turning into your toes. It gives the shoe an interesting retro-but-not-outdated-or-aggressive look, and it's easiest to see in their Marie Antoinette shoe...which of course I cannot find online, but I CAN find their Courtesan shoe online which I also own, but in a purple and gold rather than the turquoise shown in that link. Yes, I have worn those in public. Anyway, I am in love with Atlanticcity, even if right now I am looking at the picture and wondering why every damn shoe I like lately looks like a stripper shoe in pictures.

Stuff from the Body Shop
There is also a Body Shop in Solomon Pond now, and School Friend Cindy needed to stock up on some essentials, so in we went. I have been meaning to try lip and cheek stains for a while now, and picked up a promising looking one, as well as a hemp lip protector (read: chapstick). I wore the lip stain out later that night for Martha the Canuck's birthday shindig at Funky Murphy's in the Woo, and it was great...not only did it keep my lip situation off the rims of glasses, but it was a good foray for me into the land of pink, which I usually am afraid of. I doubt I'll ever use it on my cheeks, but that's more of an issue of my not liking blushes in general. My theory on my face is that I pretty much hit the jackpot in terms of natural coloring, so I try not to mess too much with its color...whatever I do use (with the exception of eyeshadow) usually winds up being a simple magnification of my natural coloring, including the notable example of one lipstick I have that is identical to my lip tone, but sparkly. That's just how I roll.

The hemp lip stuff is also great...School Friend Cindy warned me about the smell of Body Shop's hemp stuff, which I agree is not my favorite, but in chapstick form, it's negligable and far outweighed by the excellence of the product itself. My lips and hands have been doing this great thing lately where they are super dry and spend a lot of their time flaking (leprosy?), so I've been going through chapstick and hand cream like my life depends on it. Chapstick is a tricky beast...everyone's had slimy, greasy, and ineffective chapsticks, and everyone has a preferred type. I like ones that absorb easily and that have a firm texture, so I go mostly for beeswax based ones (like the ninety seven Burt's Bees ones in my possession). Highly recommend, though IF you buy both the chapstick and the lipstain and think "I'll just use good lip product etiquette and apply this chapstick to moisturize first to ensure smooth application," do not follow that instinct - the lip stain needs a pretty clean lip so it can set up and get itself situated.

No Body Shop praise can be complete without a nod to their excellent social policy - while as you know I'm not a fan of people buying shit made out of hemp or handmade by African children just so they can tell you about it, Body Shop has struck a good balance in making all their products as good quality and natural as you could possibly hope, while also encouraging fair trade. They are walking the walk, big time, and I appreciate that about them.

...that does not mean I am not going to make fun of them when they act dumb as hell. I have a bath puff that has a plastic cartoon frog on the top of it that YES I bought on purpose because when I am not busy being 80 years old I fill my time with being 5, and said froggy bath puff is getting a little beat up. I picked up a bath puff in the Body Shop and it was fabulously skooshy and soft and significantly cartoon-frog-free, so I bought it. I used it yesterday and today with my Philosophy Bubbly body wash that I also love and it was great. That being said, the Body Shop has decided that this item, shown below, used for applying body wash in the shower, is called...

...a bath lily. What in the blue fuck? A BATH LILY? Who comes up with this? This is exactly why marketing people always make me nervous...you never know when they're going to spring this crap on you. I'm sorry, Body Shop, I'm just not at a place in my life where I'm willing to call this thing a bath lily. Stop trying to make bath lily happen. It's NOT going to happen.

Project Runway: Let's Start From The Beginning

Ah, Project Runway, in its last season before it moves to Lifetime, where I expect it to be irreparably, hideously mangled. The Lifetime people have already said they plan to move the show to LA for a variety of reasons, including the opportunity to have more celebrity involvement. Le fucking sigh, dude, for real. Project Runway isn't ABOUT celebrity, it's about people being really fucking good at design and execution. When celebrities factor in, they are appearing as guest judges and are fashion celebrities, not fucking movie stars. On top of this announced incoming doom, the editorial reins are being handed over from the talented and witty Magical Elves group to Bunim-fucking-Murray, best known for their work on...The Real World.

I am just going to put this out here now. Lifetime, if you turn my favorite TV show into the kind of dreck you air all day, every day, I will fucking cut you. That is all.

So anyway, let's all enjoy this season before Lifetime gets their sappy, hormone-saturated mitts on Project Runway. So far it looks entertaining, at least, and in a LANDMARK event, The Lucy and I hate most of the same people! Normally, we have a conversation like this relatively early in the season:

Me: Oh my God, __________ is SO OBNOXIOUS! I want to stab him/her
repeatedly in the eyeball!
The Lucy: Are you on drugs? I love ___________!

As far as I can tell, this is because The Lucy is better able to look past obnoxious personality to the fashion being produced. Our agreement on the annoyance of Blayne and Suede is refreshing and a good indicator of the IMMENSE obnoxiousness of both. A couple notes to begin the dress-by-dressage...

• The guest...mentor?...and guest judge was none other than the inestimable Austin Scarlett, who horrifies both Speed and School Friend Cindy, because they do not know better. Austin is a lot to take, visually, what with the insane dressing and the makeup and the "soft serve ice cream hair" (as magnificently described by someone who lives in Internet land), but if you've watched the first season you know he is to be adored. He won this same challenge on the first go-round with a really spectacular dress made of corn husks. Even though he forgot to refrigerate it and it got a little shrivelly, the judges exhibited exemplary good sense and gave him the win.


• On the model front, there are two semi-startling women on deck. One is named Elena and appears to be almost normal human sized. The other one is named Germaine (hehhhh, her name is Relevant) and she...does not have boobs. I don't know what the deal is with it, but seriously, she walked down the runway, turned at the end, and dang.


• During the "Coming Up This Season" clips, there was one that featured Tim Gunn saying "it's like a pterodactyl in a gay Jurassic Park." I love Tim Gunn.


• This was the first viewing of PR for School Friend Cindy. We have developed a habit of watching TV codependently (i.e. watching the same show and commentating via AIM), and this time, we watched PR. Good times!


• Daniel "from Brooklyn," you are from GREAT BARRINGTON, MA, stop being an assface.


• I wonder how much they paid Kit Pistol to wax enthusiastic about designing an outfit based on a car. On a SATURN. I hope it was a lot.

The challenge was a return to the very first episode ever, where the designers were taken to Griestedes grocery store and told to create an outfit. I started off The PR Email to The Lucy with the following: "I have decided I am just going to ignore color unless it's exceptionally GOOD, because they WERE shopping in a grocery store. I was psyched that they did this challenge again! In other news, the Bluefly wall looks LUSCIOUS, doesn't it? I saw some snazzy stuff on there." I'm usually very color oriented, but I am trying to abandon that tendency for the time being, given the nature of the challenge.

Kenley

Josie: I thought Kenley did a great job with the bustier. I actually like the skirt a lot more in this picture than I did when it was moving on the runway last night, because the stiff "fabric" was getting kind of caught up on itself. Now that I can see it like this I actually really like it.

The Lucy: I liked the bodice too, but there was a little piece of me that felt as though it were kind of...obscene? I'll give her props for working the hell out of that rubber ball though. The skirt is cool, but this look is really meh for me for some reason.

Terri

Josie: I kind of hated the top of this (I am pretty sure I saw nipple, also...WTF?), BUT it was interesting and creative, so I will give it a pass. The skirt was pretty blah but did well showcasing the work she had done on the top.

The Lucy: I wish she had stitched the braided ropes together, because as she was braiding I kept seeing a sweater knit. It would have looked better if she made it look like an knit piece. The skirt is just a pencil skirt but I dug her idea for the top.

Suede

Josie: I was really surprised by this, because I expected a lot more insanity from Suede, and instead got a total snoozefest. Adding the pieces of blue all over the TABLECLOTH (which was the tableclothiest looking one of them all) was somewhat helpful but overall, this was just boring. The styling was also really weird...what's with the big ole prom updo and big shiny jewelry? And in what world do they go with GINGHAM?

The Lucy: Oh sweetness, this sucks. I really don't have anything to say about this other than it's completely boring. I'm pretty sure any person could come up with this look...a tablecloth with blue shit on it. Hooray!

Emily

Josie: I...don't get or like this. There's weird shape, cooch highlighting via that little uptick in the hem dead center of her legs, the boots don't go, the neck ruff is weird and alarming and so help me, I'm abandoning the color disclaimer for a minute here because WTF is this all ABOUT? You couldn't find ANYTHING less jarring that smashing what looks like something you stole from an Elizabethan-themed children's clown on top of a cream colored weird but fundamentally sedate dress?

The Lucy: I kind of dig on where this look could have gone. I think the neck piece is actually really cool but it doesn't go with anything! The dress doesn't make sense, it's really Peter-Pan-ey and the boots look stupid. I wish something different went on from the neck down because it could have been cool.

Leanne

Josie: I would have hated this far less had Leanne not done the white bits on the skirt itself. I also wasn't wild about the BACK of this where she just slapped those candies on...the LEAST she could have done is do some kind of cool pattern. Putting them all in rows like that just looked bland and janky. Not horrible but not my favorite either.

The Lucy: I thought the detail of the meringue cookies was cool, but I didn't really think much of this dress. The candies glued on the back were abysmal. I also kind of get the white poof thing, but I think she took it too far. It could have been cool if they were just peeks in the pleats.

Jennifer

Josie: Jennifer...cute but bland. I think this is a casualty of the Shopping In A Grocery factor.

The Lucy: Cute. I liked the little kiss details she did. Nothing special though.

Jerell

Josie: Jerell mentioned the movement on this and it really was very cool. The bodice is fitted REALLY well and I actually love the cute little head thing. I could live without the funky sleeve but it doesn't ruin everything for me, so I'll let it live.

The Lucy: Oh, what fun. I actually liked the koosh sleeve, but that may have been a nostalgia thing. It's fun and pretty and the head piece is really fantastic. I love it and want one.

Keith

Josie: I thought this little Keith number was really cute, and it disappointed me when Tim gave the Tablecloth Speech as he was standing near it because it was the LEAST I-draped-a-tablecloth-y of them all. I would actually WEAR this, and I thought he did an awesome job, even BEFORE he added more netting...I think it was fine all on its own!

The Lucy: I'm kind of on the fence about this. While I think it's kind of cool, I think this look is getting a little overdone. It's not really creative, although it is pretty and well executed. I do kind of get Tim's point - it's obvious that he was kind of taking the easy way out.

Wesley

Josie: I could live without the gloves, but boy, they really show you the hypercutesy Marc Jacobs influence, don't they? The dress itself is cute enough but I REALLY like the little swath of assorted stuff. Don't love the styling, but I think overall this is cute.

The Lucy: I loved the bright color and all the little bits that he used as accents. Once again, not really a creative piece but cute and well done. I think the accents really made this special...without them though...eeehhhhh.

Joe

Josie: All right, the top is pretty meh, but the use of the pasta is very cute and the skirt had good movement so I'll let it pass. Kind of a snooze.

The Lucy: This one was actually one of my favorites. I loved the pattern on the skirt and the way it played with the tomato pattern. I may also love this just because I'm Italian, and pasta and tomatoes make me happy.

Korto

Josie: I really liked this, even though I could have seen it shorter...I think that would have gotten the judges off her back about the tableclothiness. The use of the veggies was VERY cool and very much in the spirit of the challenge, I think. Love the yellow color!

The Lucy: MY VEGGIES! Fabulousness. I think this was really cool and the veggie "necklace" made this really special. So pretty.

Daniel

Josie: Okay, how awesome was this? We just talked about the real-life model aspect but the dress itself is so damn cool. Obviously, I like it more because it's made out of a cool material rather than it actually being some kind of revolution in fashion design, but the design itself isn't BAD either, just pretty basic.

The Lucy: I thought this was pretty amazing, just because he made this cool melty plastic dress. I really liked this one. Also, I think this model looks like Elia from Top Chef, and it kind of bothers me.

Blayne

Josie: What does one even say about this? I like that in this picture it looks like ump gear.

The Lucy: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA! The upside to wearing this is that you're safe if you get your period whilst wearing it. So much ugly.

Jerry

Josie: Let's review...this is a FISHTAIL raincoat, with yellow dishwashing gloves, and a tissue paper dress. EPIC FAIL.

The Lucy: Perfect for a night out on the town with Jack the Ripper. Either that, or a fashionable outfit to wear to the meat packing plant. Her face really does say it all.

Kelli

Josie: I thought the skirt on this came out REALLY well, but I hate the top so much I find it distracting. Everything's fine until you hit the coffee filter boobie manhole covers and then it's all over.

The Lucy: The skirt is pretty badass. I think it's funny that Jerry criticized her for what she did and he ended up getting kicked off. Had this model breasts, this look could have been a disaster.

Stella

Josie: God, what to say. Honestly, I think this does jive with her overall aesthetic but the WHINING on the way to its creation was almost more than I could handle. Like, okay, you can't make pants. That's horrible for you but SACK UP, HO!

The Lucy: "I will be the jackass of the nation." Best line ever. Worst dress ever. She could have done so much with this but instead she chose to complain instead of using her head to come up with ideas. She may not be long for the show.

Today In Things On My TV

First of all, I watched a re-run of How Do I Look this morning and received some humiliation for my troubles. SIDE NOTE: I am in love with Zappos. This story really requires pictorial assistance to be effective, and Zappos was there for me with every order I have ever made from them. That being said, on April 24th of 2004 (hah! Go Zappos.) I ordered "Aaliyah" from Gabriella Rocha. They look like this: ...only I got them in black and pink. I realize that they are a bit strippertastic, but they are the kind of strippertastic that can be ameliorated with some skillful dressing, plus I think everyone can see how I would be helpless against the charms of this particular shoe...shiny, tall, pointy, unique, stable support-y ankle strap. I HAVE A PROBLEM, OKAY? God.

Anyway, I was watching How Do I Look. For those of you who have not seen the show, the fashion victim's clothing is critiqued by two friends or family members and a professional stylist, then particularly offensive items are thrown out (as opposed to the full-wardrobe purge of shows like What Not To Wear). Each "Accomplice" is then given a set budget to buy three outfits to start the fashion victim on their new path to fabulousness. The accomplices also select new hair and makeup. The fashion victim tries on all three collections, then chooses their favorite, and then there is lots of hugging. In this particular episode, there was some pretty heinous shit brewing in the victim's wardrobe, so I'm getting all into it..."yeah. YEAH! Don't just throw that out, BURN IT! YEAH!"

Riiiight up until the point where they hauled out the shoes pictured up above.

And trashed them.

Amidst GREAT derision.

Awww, sad.

Luckily I got over it and did not die of shame, because if I had, I would have missed watching about a third of SNAKES ON A PLANE and let me tell you, my life would be SO BAD had that happened. I have been watching for five minutes and had to stop to send the following to School Friend Cindy:

Josie: Oh...my god. I am watching Snakes on a Plane in order to expand my knowledge of the zeitgeist and it is the most idiotic thing I have ever seen and I LOVE IT
Josie: Someone just proposed everyone going upstairs - IN A PLANE - because it's "safer up there"
Josie: Because as you and I both know
Josie: Snakes cannot get upstairs
Josie: In other news, snakes have night vision, like, greenlit army style night vision
Josie: And eat humans

School Friend Cindy was quiet a while, then was all "I am going to watch Citizen Kane with my Harvard graduate brother," at which point I described the situation as "staring down the barrel of the dichotomy of our friendship."

I get excited about shit like this all the time, and she still hangs out with me...IN PUBLIC. This is why for the past 24 hours or so my away message has been a declaration that she is one of the best things to come out of my attendance at Assumption. Seriously, if you had a friend who would sometimes walk into a somewhat large public area and start talking to you about (for instance) Snakes On A Plane, and starting sentences with "OH. MY. GOD CINDY. I HAVE A STORY FOR YOU ABOUT " to the amusement of all around you, would you continue hanging out with that person? No, you would not, and for good reason. And yet School Friend Cindy continues to do so. Is she crazy? Maybe! I am not dumb enough to question. That movie is seriously SO BAD that I HAVE to watch the whole thing. There is nothing about it that is not bad...the acting, the logic, the plot, the...connection to reality? It's all HORRIBLE and it is horrible in the AWESOMEST WAY POSSIBLE.

SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER

They get rid of the snakes by SHOOTING OUT THE WINDOWS OF THE PLANE. The snakes are resultingly sucked out via air pressure from throughout the plane. I DARE you to find something not awesome about that.

END SPOILER

Assorted Fun Stuff

Facebook has really been a wealth of awesome lately! Thanks to The Lucy for sending me the video of that interview with Kevin Garnett I was talking about the other day...seriously, if you can watch this and not want Garnett to come live in your house and be awesome all the time with you, we cannot be friends any more.



And then we have a couple great sites from School Friend Cindy, one old and one new.

Old: Photoshop Disasters

New: English Fail

Updating the blogroll, too...