Tuesday, July 19, 2011

My Life As A Human Encyclopedia

Somehow I have managed to accumulate bug bites on my toes, which is like...fate worse than death, because I lack the emotional maturity to deal with them gracefully and instead walk around dragging my feet topside down along the carpet like I'm mid-evolutionary-step and shearing all the skin off the top of my feet, making the entire problem worse.  What can I say, I'm pretty awesome.  I tend to set things like this aside when I, for instance, tell the story about the girl at American who told me - in a single conversation, mind you - about her full ride to AU as well as the fact that her doctor forbade her from using Q-tips because she lacked the emotional maturity to resist jamming them into her ear canal and deafening herself.  TRUE STORY.  In any case, I decided to take a bath last night to soothe my bug bites and carpet-gashes, and I took my iPad in there because I'm creepy I wanted to read while I soaked.  By "read" I in fact mean "switch between tumblr and Facebook while playing Words With Friends."  At one point I clicked over to Facebook and found this:

So here's the thing.  Kym has hit me with a broad range of random questions over the course of our friendship, refers to my Facebook wall as a news source, and occasionally sends me things like legal contracts saved as "sendtojosiesheknowseverything.docx."  She seems to routinely hit topics that I happen to know about, like legal crap which I can give a somewhat sensible opinion on because it's a topic that comes up on the Peoples' Court a lot, or how to react to movements in the terror alert statuses while overseas.  It was not until now, though, that I realized that she does in fact understand me as some kind of human encyclopedia to which she can turn for any and all problems, like moth identification.  Reminder: I saw this while in the tub, and it made me laugh so hard I was crying.

I guessed "luna moth" incorrectly first, by the way, then did some google-fu to figure out that it is in fact a Polyphemous Moth.  And then this happened: "JBL News!!!!! Well don't pee in the bathtub at this visual, but TJ just put some man gloves on and save the day haha"

Problem? Solved.

1 comment:

  1. BAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! I'm famous on JBL News Yippie!!