Saturday, January 10, 2009

Technology: Impending Doom, or Continued Ineptitude?

During my Problem of God class last semester, I had some issues with one of the themes of the course, that being that technology, because it discourages us from using our fucking techne, and thus distances us from God, is problematic and should be reined in. I don't think the professor actually wanted us to go back to using smoke signals from a pile of burning cell phones and PDAs to communicate, but sometimes it edged into "technology is going to kill us all" territory, which immediately got my hackles up. Yeah, I think we need to keep an eye on technology and ask the "but why" question more often, but I don't think it's going to kill us all or eat us, etc., etc. With that in mind, I have a few questions.

1. If technology is so powerful and all-consuming, how come my school email sucks on a level unattained and coveted by the entire vacuum industry? If the latter could harness the power of my school email's sucking, every molecule of dirt ever in the world would be sucked from the face of the earth in a matter of seconds.

2. If part of the problem is the efficiency of technology's ability to seamlessly integrate itself into our lives, how come I can't buy a cell phone that doesn't fuck up my car radio for no reason?

I am not saying technology isn't something to be better considered than it often is, but for real, if the future is full of dastardly soul crushing robots of all sizes, then I am ready. I shall know them by the sound of their radio interference. Here comes technology in Starbucks, on tiptoes all "I'mo gitchu sucka" and meanwhile, I hear the radio all DIT DIDIDIDIT DIDIDIDIT DIDIDIDT WHAAAAAAAFZZZZZZZ DIT DIT, slowly put down my coffee, and when I see technology closing in in the reflection of a chrome espresso machine, I whirl around, punch technology right in the face, and run for freedom. They'll never take me alive!

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