In Which I Go To The Grocery Store

Minor note on a DIFFERENT grocery store: My diatribe in the direction of Shaw's parking lot and their STUPID SPEEDBUMPS OF TRANNY DOOM was successful and the SSoTD have been removed. TAKE THAT!!! FEEL THE WRATH OF MY POISON PEN!

Regrettably, the funky little Honey Farms/Pet Barn/Sheep Shack/nail place that I like because it shares my sister's name plaza in HOLDEN/PLEASANTVILLE, MA has installed one of the SSoTDs. FEEL MY WRATH, FUNKY PLAZA!

I have to say, I DO understand the impulse to put these things in...more than once, I have nearly been mowed down by some douchebag driving his very own Shaws 500 with my arms full of groceries, or hauling a bag of cat litter out of the Pet Barn, but I think that the choice of installing speed bumps that REMOVE THE UNDERSIDE OF YOUR VEHICLE is a little self defeating, since NO ONE will be coming to your store. There is a way to go over a standard issue speed bump without feeling like you are causing massive damage to your undercarriage...there's no way to go over these without doing so. I tried going so slowly I actually came to a stop at the bump and had to gas it to go up and over, and STILL...kaCHUNKTHUD.

So anyway we went to the grocery store yesterday and I have some observations.

1. It takes a long time to put $600 of coins through a Coinstar machine, will make you feel like a weirdo, and will probably make people hate you.

2. Halls Ginger Ale cough drops...sound fun, are not. They are just different flavored cough drops, and not even particularly ginger-ale-y. Sad, really, although in retrospect, I realize that what's so happy-making about ginger ale itself is the crispness and fizziness of it, which you're not going to get out of a cough drop. DAMN YOU MARKETING!!

3. Polar Pomegranate Dry...EXACTLY as awesome as it sounds. Oh my god. I love those Polar people.

4. Silk Pumpkin Spice soy milk...made of delicious. I like soy milk anyway, but if you're not a soy milk person, this is the kind of thing to start with. It's got a texture between milk and eggnog (more towards the eggnog end), and comes in all kinds of flavors including vanilla, chocolate, chai latte, and this pumpkin spice, which I highly recommend.

5. Sabra hummus is seriously proof that God loves us. It is so creamy and fabulous and the Sabra people specialize in "hummus with stuff in it" which is MAGIC, so I usually get the "Supremely Spicy" variety, although they also have a jalapeno one which is on my list. Other flavors that I can remember include tahini, eggplant, garlic-like-whoa, and many other things that look delicious but I can't recall.

Thank me later.