The Challenge: Design a TWO PIECE ensemble for Sarah Jessica Parker's goddamn fashion line, Bitten, which you can Google yourself because I'm not endorsing that hack. Plus...TEAM CHALLENGE!
Brief interlude in the form of discussion of SJP: Can I just take a moment here to talk about how effing sick of SJP I am? She's worshiped as a freaking fashion icon for a role SHE WAS DRESSED FOR BY CRAZY ASS PAT FIELDS and consistently demonstrates a distinct not-getting-it-ness as far as dressing appropriately for the occasion. I respect her willingness to put it out there, much like my basis for loving Posh, but there is something about her that just makes me want to shake her fans and yell at them. AND I don't love her line nearly enough for it to live up to even the most mildly thumbs-uppy reviews, and her perfume commercials suck. I'm going to go ahead and admit here that this might be a case of Josie Irrationally Hating People, but unfortunately PR has compounded the issue with calling her a fashion icon which I think is a title handed out too easily in the first place. STOP IT PEOPLE.
Oh, SJP...how I loathe thee. Like you, I don't get what's so great about her. Yeah, she does put it out there, but as far as I'm concerned, looking at her clothes is a million times better than looking at her face, so maybe that's why people notice her style? I do have to give her props for wanting to create a fashionable line that everyone can afford. I think that's tops. I've been watching the show with friends and when they were like, "What would you say to her?" I said, "Nose to meet you." It was pretty funny. But I digress.
Christian/Carmen...oh dear, it seems that Christian kind of has A Thing. Which is fine. If it stays away from the costumey, which this and his last item are dangerously close to. This does not mean I HATE it, but I WILL say I think its unlikely to flatter a lot of body types particularly with the dress, which was quite clingy. I think I would like it more if the sleeves were entirely grey. What scared me the most about this dress/jacket combo was that it made a MODEL look as though she was pregnant, and if it makes a stick thin person look pregnant, well then what the hell would *I* look like in it? Kind of scary how he thought he was going to get away with that. It's totally 80s, and not in a good way. I appreciate Christian's over-the-topedness but he needs to reign himself in. Big time. I liked how she made Carmen cry.
Ricky/Jack...these pictures are definitely not capturing the full effect of these dresses, because this color was fucking stunning and it's pretty blah here. I don't love the belt's dangly bit, because I feel like it's kind of a boho vibe while the dress is not. If not for the dangly bit, sold! I did think it was kind of a cop out to have a belt for a second piece, however...I mean...it IS a second piece, but when I think of a two piece outfit, I think of two pieces of clothing, not one piece of clothing and an accessory. While I agree that this isn't technically a 2 piece, I have to say that I was nearly creaming myself when I saw their outfit. The color was absolutely gorgeous, I loved the way the dress moved and I also kind of dug the belt. I was disappointed that they weren't considered to be the top or in the top 2. It was lovely. Did I mention the color, and how gorgeous it was? The pic does it zero justice.
Elisa/Sweet P...I keep liking these things Elisa churns out waaaay more than I feel like she deserves. The "spit marking" thing, however...ugh. No. You do NOT spit on shit you expect me to wear. Ew ew ew. I think the dress has the same issue that Christian's did...kind of clingy and unforgiving, which makes it iffy for a mass marketing concept. The cape is kind of cool though, I have to say. I really should investigate capes and see how I REALLY feel about them. What I REALLY loved about this pair, though, was Sweet P OPENLY thinking Elisa was a possibly dangerous nutbar. Good stuff. This was a great combo, both of people and of clothing. Sweet P is such a cutie, isn't she? It cracked me up when she burst out laughing right in Elisa's face. Too funny. But anyway, I did like their combo. I thought the dress was really pretty, especially the sleeves. So pretty. The cape was pretty but it was a little too over the top for me. I also do not know how I feel about capes.
Kit/Chris...okay, cute, probably not mass market friendly, and I didn't even remember this walking down the runway. I don't really object to the outfit qua the outfit, but it seems very boring for a fashion competition. Give it some snazz! This is kind of like what I'd imagine Audrey Hepburn's teenage daughter wearing. Kit is awfully juvenile in her design, isn't she? Not that it's a bad thing, but most of the clothes I've seen in the juniors department are not usually on the higher fashion end. The outfit is boring, boring boring. And the hat is just stupid.
Rami/Jillian...glad to see that Rami's drapeyness can at least be adapted to look different. I like him! I am not quite ready to sign on to the brown purse, but the jacket is cute...same idea as Kit & Chris' but MUCH more interesting. That being said, it does have the same marketability issue and it's not SUPER exciting. Love the hair with the outfit. Too boring. I was not really a big fan of this when I saw it and in the pic it looks even more boring. The hair is great though. I just want to see something other than a black outfit, please.
Victorya/Kevin...for the second week in row, the judges were waxing poetic about something I just did not get. I thought this was so sloppy looking and ill defined...you could hardly even see that little vest amongst all the voluminous fabric AND I didn't love that plaid with that grey. I liked both colors separately, but together, no thanks. I just didn't get it. Well, it looks like we really do have a little Vera Wang doppleganger on our hands. Vera Wang is great, but we only need one of her. Like you, I don't get what's so great about this outfit. It's boring and ugly and I don't know too many women who want to look like a trashbag wearing a tiny vest. I just don't understand!
Marion/Steven...this was a hot mess. I think it might just have been a poor fabric choice, but ugh, lord. The whole thing was just too hippy dippy for me AND more importantly for the Bitten line. I was glad to see Marion go, too, because he seemed like a serial killer to me and made me nervous. Blech...what the hell was he thinking? This is just terrible. I have no idea why she picked his outfit to begin with anyway...well, maybe they needed something tragic so that they could kick someone off the show. Marion reminded me of Pinocchio. Seriously, I kept shouting, "I'm a real boy!" during the entire episode.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment