Professorial Excellence, Part Deux!

I wrote a while back about some of the excellent comments from professors this semester, and I have a second update for you...a couple of them have been on a roll this middle section of the term, so enjoy!

"We use sound to communicate, even if its not in words. One time I was camping and saw a moose arond my campsite. So I used sound to communicate 'human here, go away.' I think what he was doing was looking for a mate, but I wasn't interested."

"The Jews are here! They exist! They live on Salisbury Street!" This was comparing Judaic tradition to other religions.

"The difference between [the poems we read while studying Egypt and the ones we're reading now, from the medieval period] really shows the change in attitudes towards women. I mean, today there's Snoop Dogg, and I don't understand him...he spends all his time with this posse of whores, but he has all these TV shows. I don't know, maybe he relates to you guys."

"So you're saying [Aristotle is] wrong?"..."Uhh, yeah, I guess."..."Yeah, he is. But who cares? It's still extremely cool."

Prof: "I'm an awful drawer, so you'll have to excuse me."
Student: "That's a pretty good circle."
Prof: "Thank you! *pause* No it's not, it's awful."

"It's a fantastic argument, I love the argument. Maybe I'll write a paper on it and get famous."

"When in Rome, do as the Romans...when in America, shower once a day."

"Ehhhh....blah blah blah Pakistan failed state blah blah blah."

"No, [these sunglasses] actually cost much less than you would think. So much less that in fact my mother in law accused me of stealing from the poor."

"So this guy is there, lapping up his blood and yelling about Allah...of course, this is not a good getaway plan."

"...the kinder, gentler Germany, not the kind that is gonna cook you in an oven."

"My daughters are getting old enough that they want to hear about you guys, but they say 'tell us about the bad ones, Daddy, the ones who have to go into time out'...I say, 'ah, we call that Political Issues.'"

"Look, this is not a cheerocracy. I'm a cheertator, okay?" Oh yes my Terrorism prof did quote "Bring It On" and that is why he is the BEST.

"When I see the passive voice, I want to blame you, then kill you."

"I felt like [the results on Questions 2 and 3] sent very inconsistent messages...save the dogs, but let the kids get high."

Student: "[Mom who works at city hall and saw a lot of confused people on election day] was telling me one guy came in and said he really just wanted to vote on Question 2, but he would 'give the other ones a shot.'"
Professor: "I woulda just given that guy a drug test right there. Yeah, don't roll the ballot, okay?"

Student 1: "Well, I have a suicide bombing group..."
Prof: "Wait...what?"
Student 2: "He does that on weekends."
Prof: "I was going to say...that's not the assignment."