If I WANTED You to Call Me Jessica, I Would Tell You.

Oh, the customers.

Did it somehow become passe to worry about pronouncing people's names right while I wasn't paying attention? I mean, there are a lot of semi-archaic things - usually grammatical - that bother me when they shouldn't, but I always thought getting people's names right was an important thing that people would always sort of make a game attempt at. Apparently, once again, I am wrong.

Last week I either received faxes addressed to or was referred to as the following:
Jose
Jessy
Jesse
Jessica
Jordy
Jersey
Gertie
Joely
Jenny
Jossie
Josey
Jackie

ONE WEEK, PEOPLE. And my favorite was the guy who was trying to talk me into making an exception for his totally stupid contract which would actually take his household efficiency BACK several paces, and who mostly liked being in charge of people and thus kept referring to me as "Josephine" in a demented attempt to invoke the effects of the Patented Maternal Deployment of The Full Given Name technique and make me feel like a three year old so I would knuckle under. Note to Mr. Dipstick: that technique, if not in use by my mother, only makes me feel ornery. Also? Nice try, but my name ain't Josephine, so you lose ALL intimidation potential. The thing is, too, that if people ask for my name, I spell it, and I spell that bastard ALL THE TIME. I also sing the Josie and the Pussycats song if they are still confused. It's JOSIE, goddammit!

I've worked with people too, who can't be bothered to slow down to pronounce a name right, which is business suicide...my last name is easy, but Speed's could go a couple ways, so when someone gets it wrong, I just immediately ask what they're selling. Not that people HAVEN'T gotten my name wrong, because they have, and those people make me weep for the future, except for the awesome, awesome lady from the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation who stumbled on it, garbled it, paused, then said "you know what, I think maybe I should go back to school. Preschool." It's one thing to use shorthand between coworkers - my loan buddy here and I refer to the folks with more insane and consonant-based names in shorthand all the time because no one wants to spend ten minutes just saying someone's name, but when I get on the phone, it's the whole thing, and if I'm not 100% sure, I ask. It's just manners, people. Your name is such an important part of your identity...show some respect and at least make the effort.