Sunday, November 5, 2006

To Fashion, With Love.

Dear Fashion Industry,

I am writing today to inform you that whoever told you that fat people want nothing more out of life than to wear muumuus might have been lying to you. I'm not sure what nefarious purpose that would serve, but you have clearly been misinformed. I would understand if just a few companies here and there were churning out the diaphonous shape-free gear...the obvious motive there would be to bring down the victimized companies and relegate their designers and creations to the worst dressed lists for all time, but it seems like the same devious bastard has hit all of you. I hope this will help - I'm worried about you guys!

I am fat. I am not thrilled about it either, quite frankly, but we all put on a few pounds in college and I just got a little overzealous about it. I didn't decide one day I wanted to look like I do, so I've been doing the right stuff to get un-fat. But here's the thing, guys...I would rather have clothes that don't emphasize my weight and aren't covered with sequins. I have lost over thirty pounds so far, and I am still going into stores and basically choosing the least horrible things on the rack. I am just confused, because I don't know a single fat person who WANTS to wear this crap. IT IS UNFLATTERING. Adding another three inches in drapey fabric on every possible surface is NOT HELPFUL. It is ugly.

Here's the other thing that confuses me - you seem to be aware of a large population of gargantuan prostitutes. I'm not sure where they are, and I am happy about that, but the alternative to wearing an actual sack (available in three different hideous prints) is wearing a denim bodysuit or a micro mini. NO ONE wants to see that. I see myself naked every day and I know no one wants to see that. Why is there no middle ground? Why are the options "parachute" and "hooker"? Where are these enormous prostitutes?

And let's talk for a minute about something that won't change even if I'm a size 6 - my shoes. People with size ten feet wants cute shoes too. I don't want granny boots, I don't want weird sneakers with lots of neon, and I DEFINITELY don't want a shoe that's so aggressively ugly that children run shrieking away from me. WHAT IS THE DEAL? Why can I not go into a shoe store and find a cute shoe in a size ten? Don't get me wrong, I love Zappos, but it can't quite match the instant gratification of going into a shoe store and not having to settle for (AGAIN) the least horrible shoe option in my size.

In review - start making some cute shit. Fat girls want to be fashionable too, whether they need some cute duds while they slim down or need them while they revel in being a size 20. People with big feet want cute shoes. It's crap that you give up once you hit size 12 in women's clothes and size 7 or 8 in shoes and start making hideous sacks and combat boots. You guys make some totally cute stuff! Why do you get so stumped when people get bigger than a size 3?

Get on the stick, you guys, and make some cute clothes and shoes. I promise you we will totally buy it. Let me know when you're done.




1 comment:

  1. Go to Nordstroms. They have shoes in size 10. And they're nice (the people and the shoes).