The Unparalleled Awesomeness of M.A.C.

I started my life's maquillage the way I think everyone probably does - with a heady blend of Mom's cosmetics and cheap stuff from CVS.  As I got older and got, you know, a job, I discovered magical money-sucking stores like Sephora, which had more hardcore cosmetics that worked better and were more exciting.  Makeup is one of the things I firmly believe you should invest in as you can; I don't mean invest as in "everyone should make makeup a priority" but rather "if you're going to wear it, wear the good stuff."  While Sephora is my favorite for a broad selection of cosmetics and for good tips and fun new things, the best single brand I use is M.A.C.  I know Sephora used to carry their products and am not sure why that stopped, but it's probably for the best, Josie's pocketbook wise.  There are two products in particular that I love of theirs, which I'd like to mention here.

Item number one is their nail polish.  I am awful with nail polish on my fingernails.  Apparently I'm just super tough on my nails and spend all my time smashing my hands into things...even salon manicures chip almost immediately and look like I stuck my hand in a wood chipper before the week is out.  But M.A.C. can keep up.  I don't know how and frankly my best guess is "magic" but this stuff stays put like crazy glue.  The colors are all lovely, too...it's one of those things where it might not look like your particular thing, but odds are it will look lovely on.  I kind of gambled on this rum raisiny color, but it looks like a million bucks on, and every "ehhhhh I'll try it" purchase I've made from them has panned out much the same.  They are color experts in a big way, and I can't recommend them on that front enough!

To give my nail polish the best chance at hanging in there, I have kind of a process.  I start by washing my hands and then using either coconut oil or some other kind of moisturizing oil on my hands (I've even used olive oil), focusing on getting it into my cuticles.  I push my cuticles back and sometimes trim them with nail scissors, depending on how industrious I'm feeling.  After that, I file the edges to the shape I want and file the whole surface of the nail.  I think it's this resurfacing that really helps.  Then I put one coat on and let it dry ALL THE WAY.  I follow it up with a second coat, and that's the one I really try to let dry for as long as possible.  Sometimes I use a top coat, sometimes not.  I have been trying too to not worry too much about streaking or light patches at first, because sometimes as coats dry, the color evens out, but if I try to fix it in process, I always screw it up.

The other M.A.C. product I want to recommend is their pigment.  This is a loose powder and again, the key is the beautiful color sensibility.  I use their Rose pigment as a standby - if I'm packing for a trip more often than not it's this, mascara and a lip gloss - and it's amazingly gorgeous and versatile.  It also comes packed SO tightly in the jar...I've had this jar for almost a year and I use it all the time, but look how low it is!  It's more lightly packed now, but damn, that's serious business.  I can see the Rose being beautiful on almost anyone for everyday wear, but they have so many more colors for fun, and they're so worth it.  They aren't even that expensive, only about $20 for a jar.

You can buy all of these cosmetics at M.A.C. or at a counter in Macy's.

I Swear That's Not a Jug of Pee in my Bathroom: Down with Shampoo

Good news: you can buy apple cider vinegar in gallon jugs!

Bad news: if you keep these jugs in your bathroom, it will look like you are keeping a gallon jug of pee under your sink.  And that you are having some kind of kidney issue.

Upshot: Worth it.

As part of my excising chemicals from my beauty routine plan, I read up on shampoos.  I don't know when the last time you read your shampoo bottle was, but there's nothing in the ingredients under about 47 letters, and half of them are Xs or Zs.  That's not really encouraging.  However, lots of people were on the internet all "just use stuff in your kitchen!" and that didn't sound sufficiently hardcore, either.  You see, I've had dandruff forever, and when I say I have tried every product out there, I mean every. product.  Head & Shoulders, Redken, Selsun Blue, Pureology, Neutrogena T-Gel, Lush's Campfire solid shampoo, denial...you name it, I've tried it.  Now, a lot of them worked, particularly T-Gel and Pureology, but I found that they made my hair really flat with tons of flyaways.    Also, for those of you not familiar with T-Gel, the active ingredient is tar, and there's just no escaping that smell.  They have a new formulation that they claim smells better, but I don't buy it.  That shit is persistent.

Anyway, the problem has been solved because the hippies who run the Internet are right once again.  In the course of my Googling, I kept running into two kinds of suggested rinses: baking soda and apple cider vinegar.  My friend Juls had already suggested apple cider for the callus-fest that is my feet, so I had some on hand, and for some reason Rich and I decided when we moved into our house that we needed a constant supply of baking soda (...why??) so we had a ton available.  I took these items into the bathroom, grabbed an empty shampoo bottle, and got to work.  Lots of sites I read were very specific about measurements, but I have taken the "throw a bunch of it in the bottle then fill it up with water" approach because I'm lazy and also because I can't pour things.  This is true, I don't know why.  I tried the apple cider vinegar first, filling up a smallish (17 or 18 oz.) bottle about a third of the way, filling it with water, and then shaking it up.  I put the rinse on my hair in the shower, then left it there while I did my whole shower routine, which takes about 10 minutes.  I washed it out, ran two drops of Oscar Biandi Jasmine Oil Hair Serum through my hair and blow-dried it.  I immediately noticed that my hair was extremely shiny and had great body to it. Victory!

The next day I tried the baking soda rinse.  I put a golf ball sized heap of baking soda in the bottle and filled the rest with water, then shook it all up and followed the same process.  My dandruff was INSTANTLY gone, and my hair was like the hair Romance period painters put on ladies gallivanting in the woods.  It was unbelievable!  I am never going back to regular shampoo, and with the hair oil, I've completely abandoned conditioner as well.  I never would have thought I'd be saying stuff like this, but it's such a revelation I can't deny it.  I now use the baking soda rinse for everyday showering and a cider vinegar rinse once a week.  I'd also like to note that I did try using shampoo in a pinch after about two weeks of using these rinses, and it made my hair flat as anything and impossible to work with.  I'm completely sold!

The Grand Deodorant Experiment Has Come to an End

Every now and then I make grand proclamations about how I'm going to eliminate X from my life in the name of good living and do-goodery.  One of the recent ones was "I'm going to eliminate chemicals from my life wherever I can," which lead to several wins and one significant non-win.  In the win column, we have giving up shampoo, conditioner and face wash and replacing them, respectively, with baking soda and/or cider vinegar rinses, nothing and olive oil.  More on that tomorrow and the next day.  However, the non-win column is dominated by my attempts to switch to less-chemical-heavy deodorant, which makes me sad.  I was kind of looking forward to being all hippy-dippy with my crystal deodorant.  Alas, for me, it is not to be.

Deodorant is kind of tricky, right, because everyone sweats and stinks in different ways.  For this reason, I'm going to do my best to hit up the full pros and cons of all deodorant options, because what doesn't work for me might work for you!

Deodorant #1: Deodorant Cream from Soapwalla

This was a recommendation from the lovely ladies at No More Dirty Looks, and it's actually a pretty good one for most situations. You can buy it at Soapwalla's Etsy store. It's a little weird to get used to using a cream, but it does work well, and you can kind of feel better where you're applying it.  The smell is a true unisex scent, which makes it a good option for men and women.  I will definitely use this one in the wintertime when I'm going to school.  The main problem I had was when I worked out using this cream, after a certain point it did wear out.  My personal feeling is that it's okay to get a little stinky when you're at the gym...you're supposed to be sweating, and everyone else around you is also engaged in sweat producing activities, so I don't think it's worth worrying about.  That said, I'm a chronic Doing Stuff After The Gym Person.  That means I'd really gotten used to relying on the staying power of chemical deodorants to let me pop in to CVS on my way home from the gym without worrying about smoking out the poor cashier, so I got to feeling a little gross about doing stuff after the gym.  If you shower at the gym, though, it should be no problem.  You don't need a ton, so although the $10 pricepoint is a little high, it makes up for it in lifetime.  This was the most successful of all the natural deodorants and is definitely effective.

Deodorant #2 That Weird Crystal Deodorant the Hippie in Your Life Uses by Crystal

Yep, I went there.  This has always intrigued me, simply because it sounds like such unbelievable bullshit.  What convinced me to try it was some judicious Googling to find out how it actually worked, and once I learned a little more about the mechanics, I was more convinced that it might actually work.  The crystal is actually a salt, and rather than preventing perspiration, it keeps bacteria from getting established on your skin.  It's the bacteria that make sweat smell, so if they can't set up shop, you'll stay pleasantly you-scented.  You wet the stone and swab it around under your arm and you're good to go.  I will note that the plastic packaging of this particular variety of crystal deodorant (which I was able to pick up at my local RiteAid) is EXTREMELY satisfying to click up, and it's also recyclable.  I did not find this as effective as I would have hoped, but I think for wintertime it would work fine, because there's usually a little less sweat involved with winter and fall.  I was surprised to find that it did work!  It's just not a super high-test deodorant.  It's possible that with continued use it would improve, but that wasn't my personal experience.  If you don't sweat a lot, this might work just fine for you!

Deodorant #3 Tom's of Maine Apricot Deodorant

This one was by far the best smelling option.  I've been on a big apricot kick in the past year, having also picked up the glorious Apricots and Cream Philosophy 3-in-1 shower extravaganza, so when I saw the Fresh Apricot scent from Tom's, I snapped it right up.  The scent is really lovely, but I didn't find the deodorant itself very effective.  It wore off by midday and didn't hold up at all at the gym.  I like Tom's efforts to use natural products and recyclable packaging, but this was a big disappointment.  I wish it had been better, but I think I'll stick with Soapwalla and the Apricots and Cream body spritz from Philosophy.  Better luck next time, Tom's.

Sometimes I Get Excited

I got an actual real grown-up style royalty payment for Elf Love at the beginning of the month, and even though it wasn't the million dollar payment I will obviously be raking in in the future, it was enough to get a little frivolous something from Etsy.  Check out this cool-ass pendant I ordered from Bunny X Productions:

It's called "Vein," which I like even though it is clearly a tentacle.

I love funky stuff like this.  I have talked before about my own fashion and the reality that it's simply not that exciting for the most part, but my shoes and accessories give people interesting stuff to look out and thus turn me into an instant fashion plate.  This definitely fits the bill...I love the texture, but my favorite part is the color combo. 

My Husband's Safe Word is "Okay"

I have to imagine that being married to me is kind of challenging sometimes, not only because I have occasional intense attacks of airheadedness and sometimes forget to use my indoor voice, but also because I get attached to weird shit on a pretty frequent basis, and when I bring said weird shit home, Rich needs to live with it too. One of the ways he deals with this is by doing this thing that I assume is some form of dissociative behavior, where I come in all "look look I found this notebook made out of elephant poop" and he gets this kind of blank look and goes "okay." He also uses this when I get on a tear about something weird and/or esoteric and/or imaginary. Today's example:
I had popped in to TJ Maxx to pick up some river rocks (long story) and I was wandering around the home section when I saw this little piece of psychedelia. There were also teapots in the same kind of style, and a cow, but neither had the flair of this little guy. I am totally putting him in my Lair of Knowledge. How do you find something this cracked out and not buy it? This picture is totally not doing it justice either - the colors are much brighter, but unfortunately I have a Blackberry, which comes equipped with the worst camera in the history of camera phones so until I relocate my stupid camera charger you're going to have to deal with this kind of picture. On the upside, this bird is so magnificent it may be better this way, kind of like looking at the sun out of the corner of your eye instead of staring right at it. I never learned that lesson about the sun, that's why I can look directly at my new best friend here without going blind.

Anyway, I showed the bird to Rich and he went "okay," and for whatever reason, his tone made me realize that he's totally using "okay" as some kind of safe word in hopes that it will make me stop. Unfortunately, I don't really have control over my behavior, so it has little effect. I mean seriously, I am always going to look at something like that bird and immediately want to have it, much like my Disco Lions. Rich is probably lucky I'm his wife and not his dominatrix, because clearly I would be terrible at it. It's a valiant effort though, and the good thing is that now that I have the Lair of Knowledge I can stash my dumb crap down there and he doesn't have to spend his day looking at it. I'm kind of imagining him walking around when I'm not home or something, catching sight of things and going "okay" and then getting all sad because it just. will. not. stop. Poor Rich. He really is a ridiculously tolerant human being.

Guerlain Owns My Soul

You probably know Guerlain because they sold a bottle of Shalimar perfume to every woman on the face of the planet at one point, and you vaguely remember some female relative or friend wearing it. My designated relative was my Aunt Cheryl, who is the epitome of glamour and probably to blame for some of my susceptibility to fabulous packaging when it comes to cosmetics. Here's the bottle you probably saw.

You just smelled the woman who wore this, didn't you?

Luckily, only the suspicion that anything my Aunt the glamourpuss would wear cost $1M Adult Dollars kept me from haranguing my parents for a bottle of this stuff. I was dealing in Teenager Dollars Earned at the Greendale Mall Popcorn Stand at the time, so I was in that weird phase where $20 still seems like a fair amount, but you also kind of get that it's not, unlike early childhood when you're like "I have $6, which means I can buy the whole ice cream truck. I am the richest person alive." You know, the more I think about this, the more it might have been better for all involved if I had worn down my parents and gotten a bottle of Shalimar, since I went through first a Love's Baby Soft phase and then a CKOne phase, the latter of which was less a "spritz, spritz, go" process than a bathing experience. I eventually moved on to Dior's J'Adore, which was less offensive generally but I still used in a volume one might consider more appropriate for stunning cattle. Sanity wasn't truly mustered until I moved to DC and discovered Sephora and Demeter perfumes, which are very subtle fragrances that smell like everything from "Wet Garden" to "Gin and Tonic." Now I have several perfumes I use - Lolita Lempicka's Fleur de Corail, Marc Jacobs Daisy, Miss Dior Cherie, Aquolina's Pink Sugar, Demeter's Salt Air, Michael Kors' Very Hollywood - which I like but Rich hates because (cuteness alert, danger) he "likes when I wear the same one because then when I'm not there my comforter smells like me." (Awesome husband for the win!)

So okay ANYWAY the actual point of this was not to give you a detailed history of my perfume wearing history - though I bet a post about vetting perfumes would be interesting...hmm - but rather to explain that the hold Guerlain's Shalimar had on me as a young woman has now transferred easily to their totally spectacular eyeliners that I am addicted to partly because they are amazing cosmetics and partly because they look like I robbed Greta Garbo's vanity. The first one I got was their Terracotta Loose Kohl Powder in brown.
This stuff is magical. Admittedly, I can see how it might make some hesitant, because it gets applied right on the waterline of your lower eyelid with the little stick - you just tap it on - but it's so worth getting over that hump, because it gives you the perfect smoky line for day or night. The brown is just the right color for the day/night switch, though the black would probably be nice if you were getting ready to go out for the night. But seriously...do you even care how good the makeup is? Look at that goddamn packaging! You own this and you're instantly a makeup professional, even if you can't put on foundation with two hands and a mirror. It is instant glamour for your dresser. It just sits there saying "this woman wears satin gowns for every occasion and smokes from a jeweled cigarette holder but never ever gets cancer because there is too much glamour in her system for it to take hold."

I've been totally obsessed with this stuff since I got it about a year ago on a recommendation from Apocalypstick Now. I am a total pusher, too...people will be like "hey, I need eyeshadow, any ideas?" and I'll respond with something like "sure, get Eyeshadow X but what you REALLY need is Guerlain Terracotta Kohl Eyeliner because it is magical." Probably bad.

A couple days ago, my Mom called me and she was like "hey, I'm getting a Sephora card as a gift, does thee think that I should get something else to complete the gift?" I, being a genius (okay, mostly a pusher), said "you should get a nice eyeliner, since [REDACTED] is an eyeliner master, plus it's a nice small item." Since my Mom isn't a big makeup person, I offered to find a couple options for her to pick from. WELL.
Yeah, Guerlain has a new formulation of eyeliner, and once again, it is effing magnificent. Needless to say, I ordered a tube of this Khôl Kajal* liner for myself, because what do you do around Christmastime but buy yourself stuff**? Again, it's a beautiful smooth product that goes on well and stays put without irritating your eyes, and once again, who cares, because it looks like magic! This one actually reminds me of another Aunt, my Aunt Karen, who went to Egypt with me and my Dad and who cheerfully obsessed with me over how the gorgeous ladies in their abayas did their eye makeup (hardcore, perfect smoky eyes everywhere). Kohl seems the obvious answer, but these women clearly had their ninja certification in application and probably didn't need slick packages like this to produce their looks.

I am such a sucker for packaging, man. Luckily, these products are also excellent cosmetics, rather than just nice packages, because I have definitely bought snazzy looking packages that turned out to be cheap crap. You should all go out and buy yourself some***!

* NB: I went to Sephora's website to check the name of this product, and I noticed that my "previously viewed products" section looks like a shopping list for a drag queen rave. There are five kinds of glitter, fake eyelashes, and random lipsticks (purple) on there. I think maybe Sephora is something I should not have.

** I am kidding, but unfortunately this DOES seem to be A Thing. All of these ads about "getting a little something for yourself" creep and gross me out. Feel however you want about Christmas - too much Jesus, not enough Jesus, too commercial, pointless, whatever - but it is a gift GIVING holiday. Gift giving is not the same as buying crap for yourself. I don't think I should have to explain this.

*** That's right, even you men. Guyliner is a thing now, didn't you hear?

Breaking: Etsy Literally Has Everything I Want From Life

When I was growing up, my grandmother shared her penchant for weird stuff with me, including things like dehydrated fruit and tofu. One of the many weird things was a candy called horehound, which is a hard candy flavored by the horehound plant, which is...mintyish. A while back, I was thinking about this (I don't get out much) and thought it would be fun to find some to send to Mormor, "just because." I did find them, but in the process, I came across this great-looking candy shop on Etsy called Vintage Confections. I bookmarked it for later reference, and just recently came back to check it out. I ordered four items, all of which came perfectly packed, just in time to take some to a wedding on Block Island to test out on my parents and the other couple we stayed with. I'm so glad I found this seller, because her stuff is fantastic.

I love sea salt caramels, so I ordered both your traditional caramel-caramels and some sea salt caramel flavored barley candies.
The caramels are top notch, and I think my Mom might be addicted now. The hard candies are wonderful too...a great flavor in an unusual formulation.
She also had some glorious looking marshmallows. I wanted to try the Dulce de Leche ones because again...caramel.
However, when I placed my order, I had just spent a weekend with my friends in Yulan, NY at my friend Juls' relatives' lakehouse. While we were there, Juls made the most magnificent peppermint hot chocolate.

This, with a campfire and schnappsy mint hot chocolate.

It was in that blissfully minty state of mind that I clicked across these Candy Cane marshmallows. What the photo lacks in the Dulce de Leche listing's poetry, the product makes up for in sheer deliciousness. Juls will be getting some of these this holiday season for sure!

Josie's Closet: Melissa Skeleton Shoes

I'm completely addicted to melissa shoes - this is my fourth pair of them and I just. cannot. stop. On the upside, they're made from recycled plastics, the byproducts of which are 100% cleaned, disposed of and used in-house, so I guess if I have to have a habit, it should be connected to a good...cause?

Shut up, it's what's letting me sleep at night.

Anyway, I got these fantastic shoes from Ideeli. They're a collaboration between melissa and Alexandre Herchcovitch, but I bought them because the rib-cage-esque toe box reminded me of Alexander McQueen's skeletal motifs and particularly the luggage collection he did with Samsonite. Yeah, that's where my brain went.
I love the sculptural molding that the plastic allows. I am particularly enamoured of the way the curve of my instep looks in shoes (this explains the number of d'orsay pumps I own), and I love the way this curves right with me on the outside.
They are long, but it's nice to have them in the plastic since I usually brutalize the tips of pointy shoes. I also hope this clears up some important questions for the people who always - always, always, always, WITHOUT CEASING - ask me if my pointy shoes hurt my feet because "your toes have to go up in there." For the eighty billionth time, the toes do not go all the way up. That is not how anatomy works.

Montreal's Lush Bounty

Rich and I went to Montreal for our anniversary - one whole year, how nuts is that? - thus proving that we truly grasp the concept of Independence Day in a meaningful way, one year getting married and the next, leaving the country...whoops? In any case, it was glorious. If you haven't been to Montreal, I really can't recommend it enough. It's a gorgeous walking city with everything you could possibly want: friendly people, wonderful restaurants, great shopping, vibrant cultural scene, casino, THE BEST GODDAMN HOCKEY ON THE PLANET, you name it.

Rich had told me for ages about the Hotel Vogue and the magic of its in-room jacuzzis and such. We went for a drink there the last time we were up north, even though we were staying at the Art Deco confection that is the Hotel de la Montagne right across the street. The bar area was a luscious conversation-pit-y area and the drinks were great, but Rich couldn't stop raving about the rooms (it was booked solid that weekend). We finally stayed at the Vogue and it was wonderful beyond even Rich's rave reviews. You should all go book a weekend RIGHT NOW. I'll wait.

Great! Hope we see you up there. Anyway, the hotel was freaking fabulous and the people there were so helpful and friendly, but the important part is that our room had the world's most perfect jacuzzi in it as well as a TV so you could while away your life in a state of bliss. I always stop at Lush when I'm in Montreal and the perfection of said jacuzzi seemed to demand some extra bath goodies. Here's the haul.

I love Lush's bubble bars, because the bubbles are really luxurious and the bar form frees you from the Icky Bubble Bath Bottle Top Scum Effect which is particularly troublesome for quasi-neurotic people like me. You just break off a chunk of bubble bar and drop it in the tub and it goes nuts. I tried the Ma Bar, which is a cocoa and honey toffee scented bar with a sugar cube in the center. It was a very relaxing scent, and I loved the way it moisturized. It's a good one, though I was sorely tempted by the French Kiss one. Next time!
I figured I'd get one good bath in while I was up there, so I picked up the Avobath bath bomb, which is full of moisturizey avocado goodness and lemongrass essential oil. I could be mostly dead a la The Princess Bride and still wake up at the scent of lemongrass - it's such a great zesty smell! The Avobath is one of their top sellers and I can easily see why. I'
I also wanted to get one for Rich, so I went with one that was robot shaped (....obviously). The Ickle Baby Bot is a sweet lavender scent, and it smelled terrific. Rich reports that it was "fun" and "good" which for bath products is pretty abundant praise.
Those evil, evil ladies at Lush made sure to tell me about the new serums they had, including the Full of Grace variety which I wound up picking up. (NB, Retailers of the World: if you put lavender in something, odds are good I will buy it. Wish it were otherwise, frankly.) You can think of serums as conductors for whatever you're putting on your skin - they help suck the moisturizer or mask you put on top of them into your face. This one is all-natural, which I appreciate, and it smells beautiful. A little goes a long way, and I'm really happy with this one!
I also picked up a pot of Creme Anglaise, which is possibly the best lotion I've ever used. The Lush wizards have put together a selection of lovely butters and oils for a vanilla-y, orange-y lotion that just leaches right in to your skin. The teensy bit I use each morning lasts all day and completely removes the need for perfume. I try to minimize everything in summer - makeup gets wholly problematic and lotions get greasy - so this works into my routine perfectly. If nothing else, you should pick up a container of this.

Makeup Is Easy: Clubbing in Tokyo

I got a Visa gift card from work for my graduation and surprise, surprise, I wound up using it to hit up Sephora. I actually did use it to go out to dinner and such, but I had about $40 left over and decided to use some of that to pick up the Sephora Collection ColorPlay 5-in-1 Pallette, which has five different color stories in one handy box. Each little panel pops out and fits into the included portable compact. How smart is that? I'll wait here while you go order one.
You could be set for life with this selection of colors, and it includes gadgets! Totally fun, and they also include little tutorials on each look on the Sephora website. I tried out the "Clubbing in Tokyo" look suggested on the site because it matched the new M.A.C. Superglass lip gunk I got in Totally Bang! which is also excellent, though I admit I do not like the glitter in it as much as I like the Dazzleglass for everyday wear. That being said, I will be wearing the SHIT out of that Superglass when I go to Lady Gaga July 2nd with THE LUCY!

(There is not a single element of that sentence that isn't 100 times more awesome than anything else in the world [with the exception of Rich who is awesome and snagged the tix for us as a graduation present].)

Seriously you guys, I'm going to be wearing the draggiest, most cracked out makeup ever for that concert and I've been seriously considering how to make a phone hairpiece out of an old wig of mine.

Ahem.

Anyway, Clubbing in Tokyo.
The COLOR of the Superglass is primo and as usual M.A.C. is the shit. You can also see my new haircut, courtesy of Ali who was cutting hair as a fundraiser for the US Social Forum in Detroit. Badass, is it not?
I used the green on the lid and topped it with a strong pink, with some serious sparkle action to blend, then finished with Aqua Smoky Lash.

Sometimes the Understanding of "Garden Center" is a Little Foggy

Lots of gardening this Memorial Day weekend, beginning with the installation of the long awaited raised dahlia bed:
It's an 8'x5' bed made out of untreated wood (for better flower health), constructed by the crack construction team of Brown & Brown, Inc. Dad helped me go to Lowe's, where we got a bunch of wood and some nails, then we went out back and went to town using Pioneer Woman's advice on building a raised garden bed, which was very helpful (though I think Dad probably could have winged it). Some stakes remain to be screwed in, but that's a quickie job. The tough part was leveling everything and getting it situated. I still need to get some dirt for it, but I will have to run out tomorrow. Then we will have the planting!

Mom and I also went over to a nearby nursery to pick up some plants for my back garden. Now, I don't run a garden store or anything, but I'm just saying that MAYBE if I was going to open one I would hold off on the order for "the jive-talkin', stereotype-livin' Jim Crow crows from Dumbo in lawn ornament form," you know?
Then again, if you're already making room on your shelves for the "Water Worm" then I guess there isn't much reason to hold back:
Umm, that is a dildo. I understand that they're trying to say it's something that indicates when your garden needs watering, but...it's a dildo. I mean, an epic, somewhat terrifying dildo, but still. Moreover, it's one of those completely useless items that is a redundancy to something that comes standard on your body, because the best way to tell if you need to water your garden? Is to touch the soil. With your finger. [NB: Most humans come equipped with ten of these highly specialized tools.] You're supposed to put this thing on your soil, and if the terra cotta is dark, the soil is okay. If it's light, you need to water it. I am amazed I haven't seen a deranged infomercial for it.

On the other hand, we did get several nice plants and we saw both my accompanist and a hummingbird:

Garden Update: Dahlias...Alive, Planter Planted, Epic Weeding

So about three years ago I went to the nursery with Mom and Dad for Mothers' Day, which was notable not only as a demonstration of why our family can't really be trusted to behave in public (we downloaded the lightsaber app onto Dad's iPhone and promptly became completely unmanageable), but also as a total giant planter score. Big dramatic planter pots can be pretty pricey, and certainly more so than I'm willing to shell out when I have lots of excitingly plantable dirt surrounding my home. When Mom and I stopped for a bathroom break, we had to walk through the sale zone, and found a gigantic white clay planter with handles marked down from $65 to a practically-free $30. I was stoked and hauled it right out of there.

And then it sat on my driveway for three years.

In the spirit of the Getting Stuff I Like Doing Done Summer, I put it on my list of gardening things to accomplish. I got a $100 gift certificate for our wedding last summer, so I rounded up my Local Plant Advisor - Mom - and off we went to Southern Exposure in Rutland, MA (run by one of my neighbors, as chance would have it) to find some plants for my planter. I wanted at least one traily plant and one to give it some height, accented with some great color. Here's what we came up with:

From top spiky left: "Red Spikes" Cordyline, "Survivor" Geranium, "Margarita" Sweet Potato Vine, variegated golden sage Salvia, and Million Bells.

The Red Spikes will get nice height, and I just love the combo of foliage. I really like the Salvia because it looks like a lizard (....is that weird?). We came home and potted the whole thing right up, and it looks awesome. I can't wait for them to fluff out and really develop. We got a bunch of other plants too, and I'll have to write about them some more later because I want to take pictures of everything to go along with the descriptions. Mom is such a wealth of knowledge that I'd like to pass it along.

Oh, and also, there were chickens:
Maximum cute factor!

I went on a weeding binge, which was long overdue. The dandelions have been freaking epic this year...I assume they're colluding with the chipmunks, but I can't prove it. It seems like they're knee-high as soon as James the Lawn Guy pulls out of the driveway. (Side note: When James started mowing our lawn, he was in high school and using our mower to mow our lawn. Now he has a trailer and a ride on mower and the whole thing. It hasn't been that long. Why am I working a desk job again?) There is now a heap of murdered weeds on the driveway waiting to be carted back to the mulch zone...I'm going to let it stay there for a day or two as a warning to the rest of the dandelions.

The dahlias are mostly potted up and growing. My Memorial Day project is the installation of a raised garden bed in the back to house said dahlias, so they should be in the ground this weekend. Mom paints her dahlia stakes this great purple color and I'm thinking about painting mine as well - they just look so festive! The bed will be 8'x5' and it will be a great chance to provide the dahlias with nice loose, healthy soil from the get-go. Can't wait until they start blooming!

Makeup Is Easy: Get a Foundation Brush

I've always been a fingers-and-palms makeup person. Up until a couple years ago, this even applied to eye makeup - I just never used brushes. I don't know why, but my nearest guess is that my Mom didn't worry too much about in-depth makeup bootcamp (...well played, Mom. Seriously.) so I just figured that makeup only needed what came in the package. No brush included, no need for one. I now use brushes for eyeshadow - standard EcoTools ones available from your local CVS - but for a long time I resisted using a foundation brush, quite frankly because that whole concept sounded dumb as hell to me.

But oh my God you guys, you've gotta get a foundation brush.

My theory on foundation brushes' usefulness is that the bristles allow finer spread of the foundation and also remove the problem of the makeup getting snorked up by your fingers as you work it in. I don't have any MAGIC SCIENCE to back this idea up but that's how it works in my brain. Moisturizing will always allow better makeup application, but the brush really takes it to the next level. Check this out:
My skin is not that good...but it LOOKS that way because foundation brushes are awesome! As with all brushes, it's important to clean them regularly. I've started just cleaning them after every use, and I usually use shampoo but I want to try Michelle Phan's technique with olive oil and dishsoap to see how that goes.

On to the specific eye makeup, I've used my Anastasia brow powder to define my brows, which as you can see really goes a long way. The key is to keep it within the edges of your natural brow so you avoid the Older Lady From The Boonies Effect.
I used a new liquid liner I got that I'm kind of ambivalent about. On theone hand, it really stays put and the color is nice and rich, but on the other, the applicator kind of sucks. I like liquid liner applicators to be super, super fine, and even though this one does have a mitered edge, it just doesn't go on as thin as I would like. Dealing with liquid liner is always dangerous thanks to the increased potential for small-but-incredibly-problematic misfires, so having a less than ideal applicator is a bigger problem that with other makeup types. In any case, I carefully winged out my eyes, then added The She Space's Yin and Yang over the top of it, working it into the hollow of my tear duct so the color really popped. I finished the look with a dose of Phenomen'Eyes mascara and made sure to do the lower lashes as well, to compensate for the strength of the black liner. Voila!

Various and Sundry Items of Interest: Hand Cream and Brow Powder

I have a couple interesting items to recommend today, which is the least I can do given the sluggishness of my posting lately. The first item is for men AND women which hopefully helps the men who have been bitching about "those makeup things you do" and who got confused by Couture Week because the Worcester Sharks currently have a player named Logan Couture and they expected a week dedicated to him (which you could conceivably do, since he is awesome). Said item is Lush's Charity Pot, a really excellent hand cream, the proceeds from which go to various charities all over the world. It's a neat idea and a terrific cream. I have problems with hand cream, because my skin gets extremely dry and most creams that are meant to deal with that are super heavy and greasy. This one absorbs quickly with no greasy feel and the moisturization is awesome. It's not girly scented - it's kind of an earthly, raw-cocoa-bean-ish smell - nor is the smell particularly intense. My current favorite test for hand and body creams is to use them after I work out with Frank, because I irritate the callouses on my hands with the weights and my feet get a little dry from working out on the mats he has (I work out barefoot). This deals with the problem fast and lasts a long time. I highly recommend it, and I think it would be a nice gift too. You can see the charities that they support on their website and each container comes with a label on top telling you about one of said organizations (like the TreePeople one below).
The next item could also be for men and women, but I don't know that men would be receptive to its use; it all depends. For a long time, Sephora has been pushing the Anastasia Brow Powder, and I always look at it and think the little kit is just ridiculous ($75), but I recently tried the powder alone in a sample. My eyebrows look best a little skinnier than most people do theirs, but they peter out at the end, which is annoying. With this powder, it fills everything in to supplement the shape of your brows, and the effect is just right. I never would have believed I would use this product, but I totally love it and it adds just the right emphasis to my face. The powder on its own is $22 and comes in a variety of shades so you can match it to your coloring. It might sound a little pricey, but it will last you forever and make your eyebrows look great. If you are ordering something from Sephora, try the sample and see what you think.
I have to admit, I haven't really thought about men's grooming stuff, and given the recent whinging about my focusing on makeup, maybe it would be interesting. Are there any male readers out there who would be interested in hearing about any particular products? Skin care? Shaving? Nail care? Foot issues? I could probably help with all of these, particularly the foot situation since I have caveman feet. If you're interested in any of these things or something else, let me know in the comments or by email and I'll take a shot at it.

Good Causes and Good Makeup

I am leaving today for a week in Florida, so there will be reviews of the Spring 2010 couture shows posted each day at 8a. I will leave you, however, with encouragement to bop on over to MAC cosmetics and buy some makeup for a good cause.
MAC's Viva Glam campaign was established in 1994. The campaign sells lipsticks endorsed by various celebrities - this round is represented by Cyndi Lauper and Lady Gaga - and EVERY RED FREAKING CENT of the purchase price goes to the MAC AIDS Fund, which has raised over $160 million since its inception. AIDS is still a serious problem, and it's awesome to see a public-minded company working so hard at getting help where it's needed.
Go on over to MAC and pick up at least one of the lipsticks. Cyndi's on the left, Gaga's on the right. Though I love my girl Gaga, it's the Cyndi shade that will work on everyone...Gaga's for the person in your life who's a little funkier. It can be for you, or for your Mom, for your girlfriend, for your best friend, whoever...and then go and get yourself tested. Get tested for yourself and for the people you care about. Knowledge is power!

High School Seniors of the World, Relax

I was talking with a friend of mine about college as part of my ongoing plan to convince everyone I enjoy to move to my immediate area and I realized as I was talking to her that the bulk of high school guidance offices are failing students as they work to get them in to colleges. It's certainly not intentional and there is a lot of stuff that these offices are doing right, but I think high school kids are applying to colleges without really understanding what they do and don't need to have figured out, and doing so with far more anxiety than is necessary. With that in mind, here are some thoughts on college that I hope will help.

Not everyone needs to go to college. I hate this whole "Every Kid Should Go To College" culture for many reasons. Making everyone go to college cheapens the actual value of a college degree; as we learned in The Incredibles, "when everyone's super...no one will be." Not everyone is cut out for college work and when you force everyone to go, it means that those people who can't hack it will need somewhere to buy degrees. A college education is not supposed to be on your schedule, or happen in your pajamas. A true education should develop your mind and consume your life - your life should be about your education, not the other way around. If you only want to apply your training to a certain part of your life, then you should go to a training program or vocational school to develop those skills, not waste your time, your professors' time and your classmates' time with classes you don't want or need. Secondly, the push for college makes high school be about college, which is insane. Memorizing dates and passages isn't the most important part of high school - the social development you learn there is far more important and will last much longer than most of what you do in high school - but you should be able to read, spell and add into the bargain. High school now is all about getting kids into college, and the bottom line is that not every kid is going to go to, need or want college. High school education should be appreciated on its own merits, not used as a stepping stone for some higher ideal.

Perhaps most importantly, you do not need to go to college right out of high school. I think that success in college requires at least one of the following things: an appreciation for learning qua learning, a career you have in mind and are willing to work for, or a desire to undertake an academic challenge. Without any of those, you're likely to be unhappy and to fall short of your potential. Go be amazing somewhere else, somewhere you can be who you are and be brilliant at it. College isn't a guarantee and it can't make you love it. Take time off, work, travel, figure out what you think you'd like to do or what you don't like to do. It's okay to do that stuff, and frankly a better use of your time if you're not sure about college.

All that being said, here are a few things to keep in mind if you do decide to go to college.

1. Pick something and go with it. It can be really daunting to look at those giant books of college listings. The analyses of the schools encompass so many things that it seems impossible to figure out where to start. Start with the one thing you care about and go from there. Remember that it doesn't have to be a Serious Academic Consideration...if you don't want to go to a school in a city, knock all the city schools off your list. Sure, there are great schools in cities, but there are great schools in East Jesus Nowhere, PA too. Yale might be one of the best schools in the world, but if you hate being in New Haven (and who wouldn't? Sorry Yale.) then you're not going to get the most out of your college experience. Pick something you care about and roll with it.

2. Finances should never be what stops you from applying to a school. Yes, college is expensive, but there are two things to consider. The first one is the staggering amount of money floating around out there to help you. What you need to do is find it and apply for it. Send in an application to every scholarship fund and grant program you can find. Make those applications great ones - edit them, take the time to format them, and let yourself shine through them - and ship 'em out. The money is out there, even if it's occasionally hard to find. It's worth the effort if you want to go to college. Second of all, you need to accept that debt is a part of life. Of course you don't want a lot of it, but you're going to have it for something, and it may as well be college. A friend of mine was telling me about how she wanted to go to Paris and teach, but she had student loans so she was thinking about staying and working for a while to pay them off. I pointed out that a year of work wasn't going to pay her entire college loan load off, and more importantly that even if she DID through some miracle manage to do it, there would be more debt someday. If it's not college, it's a house. If it's not a house, it's a car. If it's not a car, it's a credit card. Debt comes from everywhere and while you shouldn't carry a huge amount of it, you should be able to appraise the value of it - some things are worth eating Ramen as an adult, you know?

3. You do not need to know what you want to do for the rest of your life. A lot of kids wind up depressed in college, and I have to assume that it's connected to this pressure to know exactly what you want to do on the day of your high school graduation. If you do, great - a friend of mine who I have known since I was six months old told me in fourth grade that she wanted to be a physical therapist and that's what she's doing today. However, that kind of clarity is very unusual in an 18 year old. Here's something that you might not know: pretty much every college has a core curriculum that every student has to take. It's usually broken into subject areas and you have a couple narrow choices to fulfill a list of requirements. Those core classes will probably annoy you at some point in your collegiate career, but they can also help you try some things to figure out what you'd like to major in. You don't usually have to pick a major until sophomore or junior year, and even then, you can always change it. There's a trade off, of course - a major demands that you take certain classes and you'll need time to get them all in - but you should never feel locked in. Do your core classes first (this will also help you avoid being the Lone Senior in English Composition 101, a.k.a. "English for the Marginally Sentient.") and see what you like.

Just remember, it's never too late to try something new, and that can mean changing a major, changing schools, dropping out of school, working for a couple years, whatever. If you're not happy doing whatever you're doing - and that is a broad happiness; no one is happy during exams - reexamine it. I was at American University in a program that didn't resonate with me and left with a 1.08 GPA, which is about .08 above "narcoleptic." When I went back to school at Assumption, where their program is more theoretical, I knew I was in the right place and my GPA is currently a 3.45 (and 3.5 in my major). If you don't love it, you won't thrive, and everyone deserves to do well in life.

Ole Henrikson Try-It Kit

If a product works, yet smells bad, I should still use said product. I understand this. But the fact of the matter is that I am not going to use said product consistently if it stinks, and therefore the benefits of said item aren't going to be forthcoming. I tried this new Ole Henrikson kit from Sephora and though there were some items I liked, many of the others were so odiferous I couldn't get used to using them. I was kind of bummed out, but that's the whole point of these little sample kits - if I'm going to hate something, I'd much rather have spent $45 for an assortment of products and not one bottle of one product.

There were two main products I liked. The first one is the Walnut Complexion Scrub. I am a big fan of the St. Ives Apricot Scrub that pretty much everyone on the planet has in their bathroom at this very moment; I like it because it is cheap but effective and nice-smelling. The Ole Henrikson Walnut Scrub is along the same lines, but a little more hardcore. You just have to spend a minute or two scrubbing a little blob over your face in circular motions, and it does a truly amazing job of exfoliating and smoothing your skin. The full size is only $24 and I think that given the small amount required per use and the lasting effects of the product that it comes out to about the same value as the St. Ives scrub.

I also liked the Blue/Black Berry Enzyme Mask. This is a clear goop that you put on your face and let sit while it gets very slightly tingly and kind of detoxifies your face. It's an easy mask to work with and you can really see the results in the form of fresh looking, pinkish skin. I also felt like I got better absorption of the various moisturizers that I use after I had used the mask. This one's $32, but it's a great value for a mask that actually does something other than peel off in a kind of fun way.

There was also one product that I was lukewarm on. This was the On The Go Cleanser, which smelled kind of weird but worked well. It foams up well and rinses clean, but the smell really did get to me. It's not even necessarily bad, it's just...weird. The rest of the items were generally not effective enough to compensate for the weird smells, so I scrapped them. I like that Henrikson makes an effort to keep his products as chemical free as possible, and I love the scrub and mask, but the rest were not as exciting for me. This is why I love Sephora's kits, though...I can try new things without spending a ton of money. Well worth the try!

STOP THE PRESSES

Several years I met a brilliant, phenomenal woman named Erin, and I got to live with her for a while (I KNOW!) and also get to know her, which was the best thing of all. She had this thing called The Sophisticate's Guide which was a guide to life. NOW IT IS A BLOG.

The Sophisticate's Guide

This is unequivocally the best thing in the history of blogging, barring a spontaneous resurrection, collaboration and publication of Churchill, Lincoln and Dag Hammarskjöld.

Required reading. Get to it.

Today We Begin Yet Another Endeavor that is Likely to Fall By the Wayside.

I am a big fan of makeup, and mostly because I was bored this morning I decided I would take a picture of my daily face and post it to the internet in the interest of teaching people that MAKEUP IS EASY. That will in fact be the name of this new The Outlaw Josie Brown featurette, set to run daily for...at least until I get distracted and stop caring. (NB: It is entirely possible that this will occur tomorrow, because I have the attention span of an excitable ferret, so if you enjoy this concept please make your voice heard via comments, email or Facebook.) Today we'll do a little bit of housekeeping and then I'll explain why makeup is easy today.

The first part of this whole Makeup is Easy concept is giving yourself the gift of good skin. This is actually way, way easier than Neutrogena, et al., would have you believe. Two main things for good skin - lots of water, and washing of face. I used to be supercrappy about washing my face because for some reason I decided that face washing had to be a wholly separate project from showering. I don't know how this happened. So now, every morning I wash my face in the shower with some combination of three things - Mario Badescu Enzyme Cleansing Gel, Fruits + Passion Radiance Vitaminized Cleansing Mousse, and Arbonne Foaming Sea Salt Scrub.

Here's the thing...those are more or less random products. They're not specially engineered for my skin or Ph balanced so they're strong enough for a woman, they're just stuff either recommended to me or in the case of the F+P stuff, given to me. The Badescu stuff is a good solid starting cleanser; it costs something like $26 for a big ass bottle and mine has lasted me over a year. It's a gentle gel cleanser that doesn't have aggressive scent and gets your face squeaky-clean. The Fruits Mousse is light and airy but cleans hard and makes your skin all glowy (I assume this is the work of the vitamins). The Sea Salt Scrub is great for summer; I don't know about you, but I feel my grodiest in summer because you sweat and the sweat accumulates but you're out at the pool so you don't want to hose down and then by the end of the day you're just grossed out by your own self and you need something that gives you the emotional support of feeling like it's sloughing off the grossness. The Arbonne scrub is a gentle exfoliant but gives you a nice tingley feeling as it works, so you feel 100% more human. The important part is washing your face, at least once, every day. This is not to say those aren't great products, but the main point is the washing. Clean all the gunk out of there.

You always hear that you ABSOLUTELY MUST TAKE ALL YOUR MAKEUP OFF BEFORE BED and this is true but honestly I suck at this. When I come home from a night out and it's 2am or whatever, turning on the water and cleaning with soap and then towelling off is like, WAY too much work for me (yes, I know this is sad). So you know what I got? Ponds old-school cold cream. That shit gets off the most ornery mascara and makes your face supersoft. All you have to do is slather your face with it, then wipe it off with a towel. It's really easy, doesn't involve modulating water temperature so you don't traumatize your drunk face and does a great job cleaning so you don't get giant creepy zits to go with your hangover.

I also use a toner when I remember, but generally I am bad at this. If you can remember toner, that is a good thing. Moisturize and apply sunscreen. This does not mean you have to throw on the Bullfrog every day. Almost every tinted moisturizer and foundation has an SPF now and if a brand doesn't, that brand does not love you and you should dump its sorry ass. Sunscreen keeps your scary Boca Resident tannery-face risk down and keeps your face from burning and prompting co-workers to ask you concerned questions about "what happened." SPF literally costs you no more than whatever foundation you already buy, so do yourself a favor and get yourself some.

If you can get yourself in for a facial once in a while to clean way beyond what you can get to on your own, go for it. Communicate with your facialist - if you notice skin problems in the mirror, mention them to her. If something feels too aggressive or not aggressive enough, let the facialist know. These people deal with skin all day, every day, and they can answer questions for you and generally make your life better. I had these weird little doo-dads under my eyes for...man, the better part of a year and I went in to see a facialist before the wedding. I actually forgot about them, so I didn't mention them, but all of a sudden the facialist was all "I'm going to fix your milia," which are teensy little attempts at your skin trying to eject something it doesn't like. She lanced those bad boys out of there and now my skin is wicked happy. Also, if you have a chronic skin situation, even if it's just some persistent redness, it's probably worth your time to go see a dermatologist. So many low-grade skin issues are relatively easy to fix, but they'll drive you nuts if you just let them linger.

NOW YOU HAVE A GLORIOUS FACE!

Today's Makeup Is Easy took a grand total of ten minutes and frankly looks way better than my phone's camera is up to showing. I moisturized, then covered up a couple feisty red spots with a little concealer. I generally try to avoid concealer because I find it always looks clumpy and gross and attention-grabbing by midday, but sometimes my OCD wins and I have to throw something on there or I'll obsess about it all day. I used Prescriptives mineral foundation, then brushed Body Shop Nature's Minerals powder over the top. I have also found that I can do perfectly fine with the powder alone. If you have clean, happy skin, you do not need goop.

All the color today came from The She Space which rules and has everything. I used "Without Wonder" blush, which is an orangey pink. For my eyes, I applied "Lucifer's Chariot" (fierce purpley-pink with blue iridescence) to the lid and just over the curve of the orbital bone. I will note that I have found pulling the stronger color into the little hollow over your tear duct helsp make the color more pronounced without mashing it all the way up to your eyebrow a la Mimi from the Drew Carey Show. After that, I switched brushes and applied "Broken Rules" (soft pale sandy gold) over the whole shebang. That pulled some of the Lucifer's Chariot into the lid and evened out the color. I finished it off with my absolute favorite, totally-awesome-you-must-get-some-immediately Givenchy Phenomen'Eyes mascara, which despite having a completely stupid name and a brush that looks like a teensy little hedgehog will let you get every single tiny lash and cover it with an awesomeness infusion unlike any you have ever seen. I applied MAC Dazzleglass in "Get Rich Quick" in the parking lot at work and called it a day.

Total time: 10 minutes

Magical Delivery of Surprise Presents #2

Incidentally, I did the math for BeautyFix box number one and even leaving off the 3Lab M Cream's figure, the box's value was well over $50...more like $196. Great deal, even if you happen to get something you don't like. Box number two arrived a week or two ago and despite one misstep, everything else was pretty great.

Cures by Avance Age Defyer Eye, $50 for 0.5 oz.

This is a very nice, light moisturizer for the eye area. I can't really vouch for the AGE DEFYING qualities because I simply don't have a heck of a lot of fine lines and wrinkles in play, but I can certainly appreciate a nice moisturizer. I did find that if I didn't wait a little bit to put makeup over it, it would kind of ball up, but what I usually do in the morning is apply any moisturizing and toning products, dry my hair, and then apply makeup, so it works well in that context, and if you were putting it on before bed then you'd be good to go. At $50 for half an ounce, I'd probably pass on this since as I mentioned I'm not really in the AGE DEFYING market, but if you yourself are in said market, I think this would actually be worth your money. This is not to say it's a bargain - $50 for a small tube is not what I would call a steal - but rather to say that it's a good product.

Decleor Source D'Eclat Instant Radiance Moisturizer, $56 for 1.69 oz.

You really can't say anything bad about Decleor products...well, that's not true, you can say that not all of them have the best smell, but generally that's a very minor problem and completely insignificant compared to the results it will give you. I've been to a couple Decleor spas and used several of their products and not once have I been disappointed. This moisturizer is no exception. I have tried a couple of radiance-oriented lotions and powders and have found almost every one to make me look either shiny or greasy, neither of which is okay. I was a little concerned about this one because it did have that pearlescent sheen that threatens shiny, shiny doom, but when I put it on, the effect was perfectly subtle and the moisturization was ideal. It just gives you a nice fresh look, and as an added bonus, makeup applies really well over it. I really loved this one.

Pur-lisse Pur-lip Comfort, $22 for 0.5 oz.

My lips are a constant source of trauma in my life. Every seasonal change, they kind of lose their shit and start cracking and peeling and generally being horrible, and of course because I am compulsive, I wind up messing with the little hurty flaky bits and it's just bad news everywhere. I try and litter my surroundings with chapstick with the thought that the more I see it, the more I'll use it, but it remains a problem. This Pur-lisse product, despite it's stupid naming scheme (ah, the pseudo-Scandanavian spa product protocol), is fantastic, and I have very high hopes for it. I have been really impressed with the difference it's made in my not-currently-freaking-out lips and based on what I've seen, I expect it to perform admirably when the seasons change. A little pricey for lip stuff, but NOT for lip stuff that works this well. Pending success when fall rolls around, I'm thinking this is a product I'll keep around.

Skindinavia Makeup Finishing Spray, $29 for 4 oz., $39 for 6 oz.

I tend to get some makeup fatigue by the end of the day, so if I'm going out after work I really should (read: do not always) touch up my makeup. This spray, however, sets everything so it stays remarkably well. I just assumed that this was a hoax, to be honest with you, but I'm really, really impressed with the difference that this spray makes to the longevity of my makeup. It does take a little getting used to, because normally I would avoid spraying liquids near my eyes and inviting mascara runs and eyeshadow chaos, but once you try it you'll see that it doesn't wreak havoc on your careful application. Really great product, I'm glad I received it!

Me! Bath Shower Sherbet, $28 per pint

I have been using this salt scrub that is very oily and makes the bath a danger zone (sorry honey), but I love the scent of it so I take the risk. This Shower Sherbet, though, is wonderful AND non-hazardous. It's a big ass container, and the scent is lovely. However, the best part is that it has all these great oils and scrubbers in it that go on you and don't adhere to every molecule of your tub! I got the Vanilla Purity "flavor" and I am really thrilled with it...which is saying something, since I hate - not dislike, hate - about 99% of vanilla scented bath and body products. This is a really nice scrub and did leave me with a palpable difference in the feeling of my skin. I would order this again, and after looking through their website, I would be interested in a number of their other products as well.

SpaRitual nail polish in "Airhead," $10 and ginger hand lotion, $28 for 7.7 oz.

SpaRitual focuses on making stylish but Earth-friendly polishes, which is pretty neat. I like the color, and the polish itself seems to hold up pretty well, even on my post-acrylics, beat-to-hell nails. The color is very sweet and unobtrusive, and they have a good range of options on their site. The bottle is recyclable and the polish itself is made without formaldehyde and some other nasty polluting chemicals. The lotion is also excellent, and actually smells like real ginger, rather than that creepy made-in-a-lab-in-New-Jersey faux ginger that cosmetics companies often use. (Note to Fragrance People: When people like a scent found naturally, they want to smell LIKE THAT SCENT, not like an approximation that you tidied up.) Great stuff. I would buy both of these again.

Juara Tamarind Tea Toner, $27 for 4.75 oz.

Continuing the tradition of embarassing confessions on here, I am really bad about cleaning my face at night, which as I understand it is when you should be using toner, which is basically a reset button for your face (TM Jen D). I tend to use old-school Ponds cold cream (NB: that stuff works.) moments before collapsing into bed. Toner is just too much effort. However, I have been using this one right after I get out of the shower in the morning so I can let it do its thing while I blowdry my hair and it does make my skin feel great. I think I need to kick the laziness if there are in fact benefits to be reaped. I'll probably pick some of this up (after I use up my bottle of Mario Badescu cucumber toner, which is also excellent).

The Youth As We Know It concentrate, $70 for 1 oz.

Bliss makes some really great products - they tend to smell good and do as advertised, which frankly in cosmetics is not always the case. This is an anti-aging concentrate that is supposed to do all manner of wonderful things to your skin, and what I can attest to is that it is moisturizing and refreshing, which is most of what I ask of face products. Not having used it for that long, I can't say whether it will prevent aging and all that hoo-rah, but it seems like a great product and I like how it feels. It's another one I'd be unlikely to buy right now, simply because I don't really need anti-aging stuff and don't really like the emphasis that society places on the avoidance of something it is in our nature to do, i.e. get older, but I would use this as a moisturizer for sure.

Degree Body Mist, $3.49 at Big Y as of yesterday when I went to buy salsa.

Here's the misstep in this round of BeautyFix. Let me first say that I don't have an issue with the actual product. It's perfectly fine - I got the scent called "Sexy Intrigue," which...okay - and I threw it in my gym bag. I'm not going to use it as an every day perfume (Is that what you're supposed to do with these things?) but it's a non-offensive nice scent for destinkifying after the gym. I do have a mild problem with it being included in the BeautyFix package because it simply is not at the level of the other products, and I'm paying to sample new top of the line products. "Nice, but available in the same building where I buy vegetables" is really not sufficient. Fine.

I DO have a problem with the marketing for this product for two primary reasons, and I'm sorry if this doesn't interest you but it is of constant irritation to me. First of all, I hate - HATE - the commercials for this, where some asshole with a walking stick, white gloves and an affected Europeville bullshit accent is talking about how women never slow down and this means they sweat, so the best perfume in the world isn't worth jack if they sweat it off, so "he" decided to put his perfume in the deodorant aisle instead of in "little glass bottles." Also there is a shot of a woman walking what looks like a panther. What the fuck. Here's my problem with this...can we please find a place between acting like women are barely functional princesses who only like pink shit and acting like women are so totally hardcore for accomplishing their daily lives that the BINDINGS OF THE WORLD CANNOT HOLD THEM? Women don't need pandering in either direction. Make a nice perfume that smells good and put it in whatever the hell you want. Scent does not require special packaging to denote female toughness.

So that's annoying. More annoying is the use of the male voice and visual cues. You know why? This stuff was created by a woman. It's annoying enough to have some bullshit marketing pitch that's all "this is my offering as a humble man, set at the stairs of the temple of women" but to find out that Degree thinks I'll only BUY this crap if they present it to me as a Gift From A Caring Man is extra insulting. Why not just market it as a body mist that smells good and is easy to use? Why must we go to the high-fashion artsy place (because as you know, women only like things if they have the smell of fashion on them) and emphasize the Males Care factor? I'm disappointed that Degree thinks women are stupid enough to fall for this shitty marketing and honestly it makes me not want to buy their product. You can do better, Degree.

All in all, another solid round from BeautyFix! I highly recommend signing up. More reviews to come in the near future!