Tuesday, June 7, 2011

TRUE LIFE: I Am Actually BAD at Being a Neighbor

New England is currently doing the thing where it goes to glory and produces some truly beautiful nature.  I woke up this morning to a spectacular green day and decide that despite its being a bit hot, it would be a great day to get out on the Rail Trail, which is about four minutes from my house and is maintained by the excellent Wachusett Greenways people.  It's a lovely wide trail meticulously graveled and groomed, and there are some nice little bridges and benches and what have you.

On my way out, I noticed some trails that seemed to go down towards the river.  I kept walking, crossed my favorite bridge, and went a little way past it.  I'd set a timer because I had to be home by a certain time, and it went off by a big rock that seemed like a good place to mark my turnaround.  When I got the bridge, I saw that another trail went down to the river, and turned off onto that trail, figuring I could follow the river a short distance and turn around.  It kept going, and as I walked, I remembered the turnoff I'd seen earlier in my walk and figured I could just go up there and meet up with the trail.  The path was full of slanting sunlight and soft green moss, and when I got to a place where I could see the main trail across the river, I was so enamored of nature that my decision making abilities might have been a leeeeetle impaired and I decided to just ford the river.  I tied my shoes around my bra strap and put my keys and phone in my bra, and set off into the river.  I made it just fine and clambered up the hill to return to the trail.

Here's where the failure starts.

I got off the trail and since no one else was in the parking lot, I just took my jeans off to drive home.  I just cleaned my car, including scrubbing all the seats down with saddle soap, last week, so I didn't want to put my wet butt on them if I didn't have to.  I figured I would be able to scoot in the house no problem, what with it being the middle of the day on a Tuesday. 

Our favorite neighbors are moving, one of them having taken a new job in Philly, and thus have been working to sell their house.  I pulled into my driveway to see our current neighbors, our potential new neighbors, and their home inspector all standing in their driveway.  I made an elaborate pantomime of "damn! I can't believe I forgot that...thing!" and drove three streets over to wriggle back into my jeans and reassess my life choices. 

This is why when "THIS...is Your Life!" shows up they'd better have a laugh track on standby.


  1. Thank you for making me spit out my coffee. Holy crap, Josie... ALWAYS remember to wear pants. Or be like the mom of two little ones: Bring a change of clean, dry clothes in the car for emergencies.

  2. I see this as an argument AGAINST cleaning my car ever again. Up until I did so last week I had about four different outfits in there!

  3. LOL!!! twasn't me you saw in the driveway because I would have seen your maneuver and asked you about it later but that's too funny.

  4. #ISTHISREALLIFE???????????