Wednesday, November 3, 2010

All Politics is Local (and Occasionally Trippy)

Okay so! Election Day was yesterday and if you voted, high five! Voting is important and you should always do it, even when you think you don't care, because if you READ and you EDUCATE yourself on the issues and candidates you will find that politics touches everything in our lives, and government almost as much, so secretly you DO care. I was a precinct captain for Jim McGovern (YAY JIM) in Holden, which gave me a lot of opportunity to be out Amongst The Populace and Also Their Dogs.


One of the other things precinct captains do is to pick up the numbers when the polls close and call them in to a TOP SECRET NUMBER*. Those of you who know me well immediately started laughing because a.) I am kind of an elitist asshole and b.) I love knowing shit before other people secrets so of course this was right up my alley and I totally felt like James Fucking Bond despite the fact that it's Holden so it was really just talking to the nice cop and then waiting for the kindly old ladies to figure out how the voting box printout worked**.

*Also known as "the McGovern HQ"
** That part was actually somewhat worrying.


Anyway, I spent a lot of Election Day driving around with another precinct captain dropping off "vote today!" doorhangers and such. These went to known Democrats, which was nice because it guaranteed an absence of encounters with people who do NOT like Democrats and feel very very strongly about it and occasionally will suggest that you should die in a painful fire with all of your family members and pets. It did not guarantee, however, that you will be able to skip people who are kind of weird. I got out of the car at the bottom of one driveway as the resident was getting into his car. I said hi and started walking towards him, but he put a hand up and yelled "WHAT?" at me, which of course made me start wondering if this was when the guns and/or attack dogs were going to come out, so I froze like a deer in the headlights and explained in what I hoped was a soothing voice that I was reminding people to vote. He said "thanks for the reminder," then decided it was time for a political pop quiz.

"Who said 'all politics is local'?"

"Tip O'Neill."

"Right. And who'd he train?"

"Err, the whole state of Massachsuetts, basically, but also..."

"JOE MOAKLEY. And who'd Moakley train?"

"Jim McGovern."


And then he got into his car.

My new canvassing friend and I went back to the O'Brien HQ, and when Awesome Ward Captain Nora asked how it went, I was like "well, mostly good, but for the crazy man who gave me a quiz about Tip O'Neill," and she goes "OH MY GOD, I MET THAT SAME GUY!" So I guess this guy just spends election season quizzing 20-something women on political lineage in Massachusetts. It takes all kinds, doesn't it?

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