Tuesday, February 5, 2008


People, welcome to the closest thing to a national primary that we have, at least until sanity is mustered, we evict caucusing states from the union, and the primary season shrinks to a point that people aren't ready to off themselves at the mere mention of a candidate's name a year out from the actual election from sheer overexposure.

To celebrate this grand occasion (and when I get to vote - WOO I LOVE VOTING!), I present, as my gift to you, a montage of my favorite batshit crazy Democratic genius, James "Motherfucking" Carville, complete with fun story!

When I was in DC at American, Carville came to speak on campus. The man just exudes badass, and walked in with his sunglasses on (NB - 7pm, indoors), and proceeded to unleash a fairly genius commentary on the current political state. It was shortly after 9/11, and he said one of the most sensible things I had heard to date about the President and the attacks. He said that he was an American first and all the other stuff second, and that while he might not like the President's approach (this was slightly after the point where Bush should have but failed to tone down and adapt the "we gon' getcha" rhetoric), but he would support the President because the situation called for it. I'm sure this view changed over time as the policy got more obviously retarded, but at the time it was fitting and true. So anyway, the floor opened to questions, and this kid who was President/Pharaoh of the College Republicans stood up, in this completely insane, country-westerntastic shirt that was half stars, half stripes, and uncorked what he clearly thought was an epic smackdown on Carville (if memory serves, it basically concerned liberal policy and objectives running directly counter to the President's response to 9/11). Carville thought about it for a nanosecond and then managed to complete annihilate this kid on every single possible point. It was BEAUTIFUL. Honestly, if all stupid policy could be shouted down like that I would be roughly eight bazillion times happier with Congress at any given moment. It was gorgeous, and it was well reasoned, and it was completely devoid of that whiny pedantic shit that the Democratic party has been engaging in for the past eight years or so which raises my blood pressure. NANCY.

So that's the story, I have my vodka near at hand and CNN on the tube, and without further adieu, I give to you...Mr. James Carville.
Awww, he's so spiffy! Couldn't you just hug him? Well, restrain yourself, I'm pretty sure he would bite you if startled. DO NOT BE FOOLED.
Here we have Fabulous Book Carville. This is basically a couple hundred pages of powerful, well reasoned, and intelligent liberal thought devoid of all aforementioned pussy behavior. If you're a liberal with plans for changing the world for the better, you need this. It can't be more than $20, ust pick up a used copy on Half.com.
This is one of my favorite Faces of Carville. He gives this to that brand of neo-con that everyone (I contend that even fellow neo-cons hate this variety) hates...the over the top, shock-value-based dipshits who swathe themselves in fake conservatism in order to be bigoted assholes.
I don't even know what this is but a.) I love it and b.) there are at least a million pictures online comparing this shot to Gollum. I really don't have anything to add.
CARVILLE LOVES THE COMMON MAN! Look at him bonding, with his jeans, and relaxed posture!

All I'm saying is that this is Carville and some chick in tie dye. Once again, I have paralysis of the commentary.
Sometimes, Carville must find creative ways to express disdain/anger/hot flashes. At these moments, a trashcan is often the best method. Remember folks: this is the man who WON THE ELECTION FOR CLINTON.

And sometimes Carville just needs some heavy artillery.

JUST KIDDING! That's totally my Dad, Carville's doppelganger.

1 comment:

  1. The trash can picture is key.

    Also, your dad is a rock star.