Proposition 8 was overturned last week, and though I am sure it will go to the Supreme Court (NB: No matter the decision from the SCOTUS...one of the bigger cases in US history will involve the name Schwartzenegger. That is madness.), seeing someone defend a national dedication to not persecuting people is reassuring. I have spent a lot of time worrying about the open vitriol that started in the Bush Administration and then ramped up to a whole new scary place when Obama was elected. Bigots seem to have much louder megaphones these days, and I'm not sure why we tolerate it. Proposition 8 seemed particularly mean-spirited to me. I do have my personal issues with gay marriage, which I'll discuss in a moment, but even beyond the arguments back and forth over the issue itself, the point of Proposition 8 seemed different - rather than a reasoned "this is not okay because it does not make sense in the context of our nation" discussion, it was a surly, brutish "no, you can't have this, you fucking GAYS. Go stand in the goddamn corner." I don't think that's what America is about and that anyone should be so proud of themselves for denying others the pursuit of happiness makes me feel ill. Judge Walker overturned the ban on gay marriage for all the right reasons within the context of a court of law, but in the process, he took the correct moral path. They're not the same, but in this case they happen to align.
Now, we should talk about gay marriage, because this debate isn't just about the pursuit of happiness. In my mind, the debate over gay marriage is the best argument for the separation of church and state we have ever seen in America. Marriage is at its core a religious rite, but over time, we have tied it to an array of legal privileges and connections. Being married now means you can inherit your loved one's possessions when they die, gain custody of their children, visit them in the hospital. This forces two problems - the state should not be able to direct the actions of the churches, and the churches should not be able to deny those legal privileges from citizens.
The best chance of resolving both problems, as far as I can see, is to create a new path to a marriage. Rather than getting a marriage license, couples of any kind could get a civil union, which would tie the legalities of their lives together. Keep the waiting period, and make it slightly more involved. I think a Justice of the Peace should probably preside over the union, not for that air of religiousness but in order to ask the questions on the table and to make sure the couple verbalizes what they’re about to do in a serious way. Words have power and declaring your connection is important – there’s a reason the simple pairing of “I” and “do” has so much significance. Then, if the couple chooses to pursue a marriage, they can do so, needing only the agreement of the church that will marry them. I think this is the most fair way to resolve the question we face.
Of course, this is all predicated on the idea that you want churches to be able to discriminate between kinds of couples. Allowing churches to do so does set sections of the Constitution at odds with other sections, to say nothing of the legal environment that has grown from that founding document. We find ourselves in the interesting position of having to choose which child we love best – Freedom of Religion or Equality. Equality has always been trying for us, and the intense battles fought for it, juxtaposed with the decline of serious religion, make it seem more important. It’s tempting to dismiss religion as old-fashioned, but to do so would be a serious mistake.
We’re wallowing in an era of mediocrity, shooting for “good enough” and limiting our dreams to cheap goals and small ideas. Almost everything comes down to the bottom line, to pure capitalism. The worst part of this is that capitalism has the potential to unlock the greatest achievements of humans – it allows those willing and able to push hard in the direction of their dreams to achieve wholly new accomplishments, and removes others’ power to repress their imagination. But there is a cost to capitalism, and we are realizing it now. Capitalism can also become weighed down with amusing the lowest common denominator, letting people make their fortunes on beautifully marketed waste at others’ expense. There’s nothing more than making money and spending it for so many people, and as religion’s influence withers, we lose our defense against this darker edge of capitalism, against our nighttime politics, and against the lazier tendencies of our souls. Religion – in any form – maintains a discussion about the things that go beyond today, this year, this life, this world. Considering that there may be forces beyond our human existence is an encouragement to be more than just a hunk of meat passing through time, and when religion is deemed important by politics (as it has been throughout history), we recognize that we must have room for influence, direction and responsibility to something beyond our own small world – even beyond the nation. Religion should not lead politics, but politics without room for religion is destined to decay.
Marriage, too, should not be discarded as a passé tradition. Marriage is a declaration to the earthly and spiritual worlds that the couple entering into it place their love above all things. Its religious nature allows people to declare that their union is as important as the spiritual world, and that it transcends their political and physical state. That’s not for nothing – it’s a big statement to make. If you are willing to make that statement about another human being, the love that inspires you to do so should trump any other rules you may find in your way. Marriage is about more than legalities.
Should churches be able to discriminate against gay couples? No, I don’t think so…I don’t think any human being or group should be able to keep anyone from pursuing happiness. However, I do think that the value of religions and of religious rites is such that it should be protected. A civil union should tend to the legal matters of tying two lives together. I think that the path I suggest may bolster membership in churches that do welcome gay partnerships, as people seek marriages after the union. John Locke speaks eloquently in his Letter Concerning Toleration of the effectiveness of religions; he explains that one cannot be saved by a faith they do not believe in, and as such, the state cannot possibly enforce a religion because religion should address the spiritual needs of its adherents. If your church does not have room for the great love of your life, how can it possibly care for your spiritual life as a whole?