Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Adventures in Linguistics

Act I, Scene 1
JOSIE is headed to New York for a Ladies' Weekend at OLIVIER and JULS' lovely apartment. OLIVIER is leaving town but will have one evening to spend with JOSIE and JULS before leaving for a bachelor party at the END OF THE UNIVERSE. OLIVIER texts JOSIE to discuss arrival times and dinner.

OLIVIER: Hey josie! Excited to see you tonight! Do you have an ETA? Also, I'm trying to plan dinner. I was thinking guacamole and chips to start, then chili and rice. K?
JOSIE: OMG Livvy you are amazeballs!! Cannot wait to see you. I have a meeting at 1, expect it to run an hour, and then head down, so...6 or 7, depending on traffic??
OLIVIER: Great! Does the menu agree with you? Juls thought you may not be a fan of guac...And yes, my balls are amazing. ;)
JOSIE: Ummmm guac is not just a food, but a lifestyle choice for me. Everything sounds fabulous including your balls. lololol
OLIVIER: Perfecto! Wait til I dip them in chili!

Act II, Scene 1
JOSIE continues to prep her legal philosophy presentation in the SCHOOL OF THEOLOGY.  OLIVIER continues to be excited.

OLIVIER: Spicy balls!
OLIVIER: Spicy balls!
JOSIE: Oh my goodness I can HEAR you being overstimulated lol
OLIVIER: I'm trembling with excitement! 9:22 AM
JOSIE: hahahaha oh Livvy it's only been a month and I miss you so
OLIVIER: Ditto! Hurry up and get down here!
JOSIE: On it boss!

Act III, Scene 1
OLIVIER dispenses words of wisdom as JOSIE gets ready to go to class.

JOSIE: I'd tell my law prof to screw but I am terrified of him. I think he's a Highlander I don't want to challenge him.
OLIVIER: Law profs seem terrifying, but they're all fragile souls, otherwise they would be practicing law instead of hiding at a law school. Tell him I said that.
JOSIE: hahaha I will tell him and then give him your address. He's very sweet but his brain is terrifying

Act IV, Scene 1
OLIVIER revolutionizes the English language.  

OLIVIER: Btw, that blog about our wedding was incredible!!! So touching and well-written. You are amaze-vag.


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