Apparently our local Fox syndicate has had a busy 2011. They have this amazing commercial playing right now, which opens with lots of whooshing and screens that read "News in Boston"/"is RELENTLESS" before cutting to a series of dates and clips, with freaking bomb countdown noises in the background. The overall effect is a suggestion that the Fox25 News Team somehow orchestrated the news stories being shown, and it is HYSTERICAL. Here are some of their achievements to date:
4/26/11: "Police in Boston found the baby alone in the car, but the mom has not been seen in days..."
5/1/11: "Osama bin Laden is dead, there are thousands of people on the Common right now..."
5/2/11: "...he was found in a compound in Pakistan."
5/16/11: "The bitter reality is they have no idea who this little boy was..."
6/1/11: "At least three tornadoes turning homes into piles of rubble...right over the city of Springfield..."
6/2/11: "It is incredible to see these [tornado] sites first hand..."
6/15/11: "The Bruins pull off a game 7 victory...[A Bruin speaking, I think Tim Thomas:] 'Best day of my life, woooo!'...Your Bruins, Stanley Cup champions, get those Duck boats ready!"
6/22/11: "James Whitey Bulger captured in Santa Monica, California...he was hiding with several hundred thousand dollars inside his apartment."
6/24/11: In all of New England history there has never been a case like [the Bulger case]..."
[AS RELENTLESS AS THE NEWS WE COVER]
My favorite part of all of this (besides the bomb noise) is that the last mention of authorities of any kind as drivers of the action is in the first item, which gives the whole thing the sense that for instance Kevin Lemanowicz, the meteorologist, went down to Springfield and called down the tornadoes, or the female reporter (who I don't recognize) talking about Whitey Bulger actually captured him. It's the most spectacular little dose of hyperbole I've seen in a long time. I insist that these people be recognized for their good work immediately, and be dispatched to Washington to fix all the disaster down there. After all, it's not every year that you find numerous abandoned/dead children, take out Public Enemy Number One, summon tornadoes, win a Stanley Cup AND catch Whitey Bulger. GIVE THESE PEOPLE THEIR DUE!