Dear People on 495, Please Stop Driving Like Blind Monkeys. Thanks! Love, Me

I always check my clock at the exit before the one I take to get on 495 (from 290) to see how I'm doing. I try not to check before then, because I get all neurotic and weird about how I'm going to be late and that helps no one. I used to put a Post-It over the clock, but then having the Post-It there started pissing me off, so I just came up with the exit check system. Yesterday, I checked my clock, and it said 8:11. Pretty good time. Generally, 8:11 at that point means I'll be at work before 8:20, and I'm due at work at 8:30, so I'm good.

About three seconds later, I hit ginormous traffic on the 495 exit. I got to work at 9.

There had been some kind of accident RIGHT at the end of the exit ramp. Presumably, one of the assholes who just can't wait to get on 495 and therefore cuts in front of three people finally got Smreked by another jerk (most likely of the "if I pretend I don't know that the people want to get into my lane they will be invisible" variety). So that was fun.

This morning, I hit the exit before my exit at 8:08. Awesome!

Traffic. Accident just past the end of the exit ramp. It was just getting cleaned up, so I don't know what was going on there. And for added fun, the backup was causing the most irritating thing in the world to happen, that being that the assholes who are too good to wait in the obnoxious traffic like every other damn person come flying up to the start of the exit ramp and then try to muscle their way in. Oh my GOD that irritates me - I just sat in traffic for 15 goddamn minutes and now I should let YOU come in and not sit through it? TO HELL WITH THAT! So I spent the remaining logjam time cursing people for letting them in when clearly they were total wastes of oxygen and should have been shoved over to drive on the grass. Needless to say there were also the obligatory jerk-offs who went flying along the shoulder so they didn't have to wait, either.

Who ARE these people?!