Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Note to the Cast and Crew of Annapolis: "Uh-uh, guys."

This is what I love about Annapolis.

The first thing I noticed is that the trailer features nothing but boot-camp-esque clips, violent yelling, sexy military folk, and all the other assorted cliches of dick-swinging military flicks. The second thing that I noticed is that there's a fair amount of actual hoo-rahing, which I have to think is inserted in the hopes of ganking some success from Jarhead... one of the most compelling aural and visual images from that movie was the one they - wisely - chose to end THEIR trailers with, that of Jamie Foxx, sitting at a fire, explaining why he loved the hell out of the Marine Corps, with his face masked enough by shadow that only the roughest edges of his face were lit, and growling out an "ooh-rah" that started somewhere around, say, his kneecaps, and rumbled up and out to relay pretty much everything elemental about why people are never ever ex-Marines. I've found the Hoo-rah to be one of few cross-branch armed forces "things," but I don't know that anyone is going to argue that when you hear it in general pop culture, you think of the Corps, not the other folks.

Anyway, back to Annapolis...as I'm watching the trailer, I have about five seconds of "Woot, go Spinnaker," followed by a long, uncomfortable period of "that's....not...the Yard." Here's the thing about military movies. Military recruiting banks MOSTLY on two things - the sexiness of it all, with the uniform and the hardbody stuff and the guns and swords and boats and planes and Bob Hope and all, and then there's also the financial benefit, which is worked to the most success by, of course, the Reserves. The collective military spends thousands upon thousands of dollars - I can't believe it wouldn't easily break into the millions - on advertising. When someone in Hollywood decides to make a big ole ball of testosterone about any one branch (I have yet to see someone make a movie so expansive that it can cover the movement of all the branches of the US Military in one movie....and I have to think that it would be pretty boring for the general public, just from the sheer amount of stuff to keep track of and the knowledge required to not START about nineteen feet over your head.), it's free advertising for them. For a movie to suck SO HARD that the Navy told the people creating it that if they came near the USNA they would turn the plebes on them (and let me tell you, those kids have GOT to have some major violent repression going on...I imagine the producers and directors and editors being chased with sticks, quite frankly, and it warms the cockles of my heart.) is fanTAStic to me. I just love it. That is one suck-ass movie. I have GOT to go see it.

Now here's another thing, which I'm not 100% sure about, but I know Anna Karenina will be reading this at some point and probably be able to set me straight...Spinnaker didn't give me detailed records of his physical training at the Academy, but somehow I find the stuff in the trailer...overly hardcore. Anna?

Things are good here...in response to the Great Betta Fish Crisis of Ought Six, we bought a 30 gallon fishtank, which is being cycled in as we speak. We have eight little fishies, all of whom are awesome AND compatible with Betta Number Two, Jerry. Jerry is not in the big tank yet, because we would hate to lose him during the various cycles of chemicals in the tank. So far we've only lost one tetra, and he was sort of...floppy from the get-go. He wasn't doing well even in the fishie store. Speed (Skeezix, though fun to say, has become an irritating moniker for him in my mind, so I am changing it, HAH.) gave him a burial in the garbage disposal, which sounds brutal, but actually spares the fish the possibility of regaining some sensibility mid-flush and suffering as the poisons in the sewer systems eat into his body. Poor little guy.

Had a great weekend in the Poconos with a bunch of the Ubersite gang...you know, some folks are just fab. TigerLilly is one of the best friends I've got, and god damn is she wonderful. SO few people I can sit and shoot the shit for THAT long and have it remain interesting and a total blast. Really fun weekend, and more later. On the flipside, it's also SO great to be back and see my sweetie...I think it's the longest we've been apart since we got together. Awesome.

He is the best.

1 comment:

  1. Although I feel I shouldn't see the oh-so-inaccurate movie based quite loosely on Annapolis, I will watch it eventually. Spinnaker (I still crack up when you call him that) will be seeing it with some of his former classmates and will fill me in on the worst inaccuracies, I'm sure.

    I will say that some of the physical training things portrayed are not too far off the truth, but far enough to make them laughable--like the rest of the movie. This, of course, is said before I have seen the film.

    (Just to let you know, I'll be writing a review on my blog once I do see it. Probably with much use of the words "fuck" and "idiotic." Heh.)