Makeup Is Easy: Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy in the Circus

Today I ran late at Frankercize because I was talking with Frank about rap, politeness and organization, and to Diane about pants and why jeans are every woman's nemesis, so I shot home, took a ten minute shower (scrubscrubsscrubscrubscrub) and then whipped this action together over the course of Britney Spears' "Circus," a commercial break, and Big & Rich's "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy."
Here's how the sequence went.
In shower, wash face with Mario Badescu Enzyme Cleanser.
Once out of shower and towelled off, remove remaining stubborn mascara with Yes To Carrots makeup remover (sounds insane, works really well).
Slather on a couple pumps of Bliss The Youth As We Know It and apply Garnier eye thinger, which helps with the blue under my eyes.
Blow dry hair.
Put on perfume, Prescriptives foundation, and Cashmere Stockings.
Tease section of hair midway back on head.
Tease front section, twist and bouf, and secure with two bobby pins.
Spray newly created hair bouf with hairspray.
Get overzealous with hairspray, choke.
Recover, put Bandits in Bras on lid up into crease, top with Glee Club Dropout.
Apply Givenchy Phenomen'Eyes mascara.
Spray whole she-bang with Skindinavia makeup freezing spray.
Run out door, forget lipstick.

Tada!