In Other News: Tiki Barber is Still Hot.

Time for episode 3 of Project Runway with Josie and The Lucy! Refresher course: Josie in black, The Lucy in blue, winner in purple, loser in red.

The Challenge: Make a menswear outfit suitable for hosting the Today Show for this guy:

I realize as I get older that one of the things I would like to leave as my legacy is some good old fashioned hilarity. A period of great respectability and power, then some awesomely dippy behavior. Not the Britney Spears variety of Bad Choices or anything, but just some nice zany middle-aged-to-old person behavior. And let me tell you, if there is a picture of me HALF as demented and awesome as this one of Our Close Personal Friend Tiki Barber on the Internet, my mission will be considered accomplished. That man is playing football in his skivvies while apparently playing a leading role in some kind of energetic musical in his head. Awesome.

Side Note: I think Tiki Barber is hot beyond all reason...The Lucy? Does not. TWO FRIENDS, ONE BESHINY-TOOTHED FOOTBALL PLAYER, NO DECISION!

So...menswear! Here we go.
Steven...when someone's previous outfit who I can't remember right now came down the runway, my immediate reaction was "that is a WHITE BOY outfit." When this arrived, my reaction was "that is a POLO PLAYING white boy's outfit." There are not enough concussions in the world to make Tiki Barber wear something that's this intended for someone from Connecticut. I also fucking HATE it and think it's so...snobby. I see this outfit and immediately want to punch whoever is in it. Ahahahahaha! Total white boy outfit indeed. I mean, this is the kind of outfit that can get your ass kicked by the guys playing polo. It is also very snobbish. I can't imagine anyone but Steven wanting to wear this outfit either. I think it fits his personality very well.
Sweet P...boy, did she dodge a bullet. I think this was one of the "we know you can do better" mercy in-ings. I actually like the IDEA of this...the black pant with the soft shirt and the REALLY NICE fabric on the too-long tie. I just think she was overwhelmed, and I have to tell you, I'm not surprised...with women's clothing, you can make a dress, you know? Eeesh. Menswear...not where I'd jump into fashion design, I tell ya. It's an okay effort in Advanced Make It Work Studies...okay, you screwed up the collar, so adopt a rumpled overall look, but there wasn't really any getting away from that collar. I liked that she was up front about it. Ah...the flaccid penis collar. I'm in agreement with you about the fact that they feel as though she can really do much better, and menswear is very hard so yeah, she totally got the benefit of the doubt. I know it wasn't her intention but this is just so clownish that it's unreal. The sleeves are all jacked up, as is the collar and the tie. Oh Sweet Pea, ye had better pull one out of your ass next week.Victorya...so, I guess she thought he was going to...a wedding? A low budget wedding? And not the good kind? I don't get this and I don't WANT to, and PS those shoes fucking suck. The jacket is better executed than the majority of stuff presented, but I'm still not willing to excuse a white waiter's jacket as something to wear on the Today Show. Why was it the 80s for this whole challenge? Did you notice that? WTF? This outfit sucks ass. Serious ugly going on here, and yeah, the shoes? Gross. They look fucking terrible with this outfit. Thumbs WAY down on this one. [NB - This was Speed's favorite. I don't know.]Jillian...I think this was the white boy outfit. I also think this was shipped in from the 70s. WRONG DECADE JILLIAN, GET WITH THE PROGRAM...it's 80S week! I hated this...the collar was disastrous and the shoes MUST have been picked out by throwing darts at the accessory wall while blindfolded. Hot. Mess. This is total 70s shit. I do kind of give her a little thumbs up for the 4 pieces that are well made though. The shoes make no sense whatsoever!
Kevin...speaking of creepy male models, I'm adding this guy to my list of people to run away from at all times. THe de-safety-pinning of the vest was perfect, I wish Kevin hadn't second guessed himself and pinned it. I didn't really like it though...it seemed sloppy and gives the model VERY weak and slopey shoulders. I think the color is great though...this is how to incorporate black properly for ANYONE much less someone with dark skin. See, now I think that if Kevin fitted the vest a little more, this could have been the winning look. I absolutely LOVE the color. LOVE IT. I think more men need to bring color into their wardrobes, and this is doing it in a way that isn't super obnoxious. I personally would have picked Kevin to win the challenge.
Kit...was this the polar fleece jacket? I think it was. I actually liked that in concept but didn't love it in practice. I found it really hard to judge fabric choice in this challenge. And let me tell you...I can hardly handle popped polo collars. In what fucked up universe is it okay to pop a goddamn JACKET COLLAR???? Easy answer: THERE IS NO SUCH UNIVERSE!! Anyone who pops their collars should be shot on sight. For real. There is no reason to do that whatsoever, unless you're a post menopausal woman and you're trying to frame your face, ok? I hate that shit. But anyway, this outfit is a little to casual for me. I think it's kind of cool how she made an actual collar for a polar fleece jacket. I don't think that's easy so props to her. It's cute but boring.
Rami...okay...STILL it is the 80s. Why? WHY? I hate this far less than the other Members Only jacket but it's still too casual. Not a bad effort and the fit is all right, but the styling is just off base. I continue to love Rami and make up fantasies about him in which he revolutionizes fashion in the new Soviet Russia. I don't get the 80s vibe from this...I just get that crisp, classic look. It's just ok to me though. I don't love it, nor do I hate it, nor am I bored by it. It just is. My gay friends just fantasize about Rami period. It's pretty entertaining to listen to the things they say about him.
Ricky...I was totally biased towards this one just because Ricky made an effort in the direction of a full suit. It WAS crappily made and the fit was off, but I'm sorry, if you get to dress Tiki Barber's shoulders, much less the rest of him, you put him in a suit jacket. It's boring and particularly un-special because it was black with an orange pocket square (which by the way I have SEEN Barber in and he did it much better), but I guess I appreciate the effort?? Total blah. No pizazz, no spark, no nothing. But, like you mentioned, at least there is a bit of an effort here.Carmen...I kind of wanted Carmen to go from the beginning because she reminds me of Zulema who I hated and wanted to punch all the time, but this is...oh my crap it is bad. I mean, the fabric thing is a creative enough solution but there was no shit, the jacket was heinous and weirdly pinned shut? And the crotch was, as our friend declared, totally insane. (Maybe you can help here - I am pretty sure that Michael Kors has used the phrase "insane crotch" before. Anyone else, I would think I was imagining things, but...seriously I think he said it before.) Good shootin', even if it was no-brainer shootin'. AHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. CRAP TASTIC! Nice fucking tammy too. Boy, I'll tell you, someone would have to be really drunk to think that this piece of shit is an outfit. Our hero, Mr. Kors told Bradley that the crotch on his Cher outfit was insane, so yes, you are correct!
Chris...snore. I would like to note here that if you have a black man with fucking LUMINOUS skin, you do not ever ever ever put him in boring basic black. Give that man the strong color and sharp white that his gorgeous skin demands!! Remember Michael Knight last season talking about his STUNNING black-and-white dress on Nasri? "Black people...we just look good in white." That's not bullshit, kids. I offer for evidence everything in the world that Tiki himself or Shannon Sharpe have ever worn. Boring boring boring hate hate hate. Ugh! Chris, you silly ass. Weren't you the person who asked him how he felt about COLOR? I'm pretty sure you were, so WHY THE HELL IS THIS OUTFIT BLACK? I don't even have anything to say about this other then, well, meh.
Christian...You also forgot Christian's outfit, which was memorable only in the sense that I fear that pretty soon he's going to turn into an asymmetrical one trick pony. True. Josie = Fail.
Elisa...boy, male models are fucking weird looking, aren't they? At least 90% of these guys look like aliens. I thought this was doofy and not formal enough. I admit I have a substantial bias in that I like my dressed up guys in a jacket of some kind, whether it's a blazer or a full suit, but dude...he's hosting Today, not collecting mushrooms in the fucking woods with his pet rabbit. This is gnomewear. Ok...hahahahahahaha! I find the shrunken vest really weird, and I think the color scheme gives you that woodsy, earthy feeling, but they're also a poor choice for Tiki. It feels almost unwearable to me...I can't picture anyone in this at all. I did enjoy her, "I've only fit my boyfriend intimately." *giggles*
Jack...I like this, even if I think it's not dressy enough, but my favorite part about it? "Design by Jack, modeled by Jack." Heeeeee. The bias pocket/placket, as the Esteemed Mr. Kors noted, is very nice, and the whole thing fit well and was nicely done. Normally I HATE when the judges are like "well, you didn't actually DO the challenge, but we like it so you win anyway," but considering the clusterfuck that was this challenge I'm more than happy to roll with that this time. Throw a blazer over this and you have a REAL winner, which I think is what will probably happen if it makes it on air. What I don't get about this whole outfit is that when I was watching it come down the runway, I almost had a seizure from the stripes. It was terrible! I can't imagine why they thought this look was the best one for television. I do like the differences in the strip directions though, and I like the colors as well. Also, his collar doesn't look like a flaccid penis so that is also a plus.

In Italia

I thought that what with it being November-almost-December, there's no time like the present to do a nice, timely post about my trip to Italy with the fam that happened in.......August. Go me.

First and foremost, my parents alone took 500+ pictures during the course of the week. If I tried posting all of them, Blogger and possibly also the Internet would explode. So, if you'd like to see more, you can check them out on Facebook, where they fill no less than six albums AND that's not even all the pics. If for some reason only a COUPLE hundred pictures of my family horsing around in Italy is not enough for you, email me and I'll invite you to the group room on Snapfish.

Italy 2007

More Italy 2007

Even More Italy 2007

Yet More Italy 2007

Holy Crap More Italy 2007

OMFG More Italy 2007

So the back story is that Mormor turned 80 this past January, and the only birthday present she asked for was...for us to all go to Italy with her. I know, the drudgery of it all was almost unbearable. Such hardship. So this is the place she booked for us to stay.

Needless to say we all just about died when we got there. It's called Borgo Iesolana and is in a teensy town called Bucine, which is approximately the size of my house. You get to Iesolana by first driving through said teeny town and crossing "the Old Roman Bridge"...

Cool, no? On the way to Iesolana from the airport, we were like "okay, so how do we tell which one is the Old Roman Bridge?" Turns out it's not exactly difficult to figure out. We were driving three Fiats amongst the 10 of us on the trip, and Fiats are one step above Matchbox cars, but let me tell you that those goddamn inconsiderate Romans did not plan properly for automobiles of even the teeny variety...

If "Holiday Road" is not playing in your head right now, you either have a shitty Movies Watched repertoire or you have no soul. I can't help the truth. You may also notice from the preceding picture that the bridge has a fairly steep angle, so there are parts of the bridge where you can't see the crazy little Italian grandfather coming at you from the opposite side. In any case, once you made your way safely over the Roman Bridge o' Doom, you got onto a dirt road that went through Iesolana's vineyards, all the while being bombarded by these psychotic blackflies that hang around the grapevines. It was a little alarming, I have to say...they would just HURL themselves against the windows of the car until you got to the parking lot, but then once you got onto the actual residential, non-farm part of the villa, they vanished, never to pester you. In fact, even when little scout parties of the family ventured out into the vineyards, all they would do is bounce off your head and irritate the everloving crap out of you, not bite you. Very weird.

Iesolana was just aggressively beautiful. It's a converted farm, parts of which are obviously still working, but most of the buildings have been converted to gorgeous living spaces. Our gang had two apartments...my nuclear family (Mom, Dad, my sis and I) stayed in one called Cipressi, whose patio overlooked the pool and surrounding hills, and the rest of the clan (Mormor, Dick, Auntie C and Uncle T, Uncle TT and Annie) stayed in Tiana, which faced a perpendicular direction from us. Here's the whole gang on the porch at Tiana:

Clockwise from far left: Auntie C, moi, Mom, Uncle TT, Sis, Dad, Mormor (foreground), Dick (red shirt), Annie...and okay I guess I lied, Uncle T seems to have weaseled out of this pic.

I think that picture is from the first or second night in Italy. On to the travels...I will apologize in advance if this account seems repetitive, because I really could sum up the whole trip in one sentence: "We had this fabulous home base, and we went out to little hill towns which rocked, and we had a blast." All of our trips out of Iesolana were to small hill towns, but they were different and great in their own way, which I'll TRY to explain but always feel like I miss the true essence of.

The first day was a two-fer...Volterra and San Gimignano. Volterra is a very old, very neat town, and we arrived in the midst of a sort of Ren Faire type extravaganza celebrating the fact that the town has been around since triple-digit years. Let me put it this way...the cathedral was consecrated in 1120. So, by 1120, they had had time to BUILD a cathedral, and lest we forget, this wasn't exactly a quick process in that time period. Very, very old. Now, as I mentioned before, we were travelling in 3 cars, and this was our first experience with going to a place and meeting somewhere. Important Italian Travel Fact: Many of these hill towns have you park outside and walk in, so parking is Darwinian at best. Luckily, most towns have an Info Stand, so we decided to meet there. Needless to say, the Info Stand was in the middle of the RenFaire Adventure, which you needed to pay admission to, so we eventually abandoned the plan and decided that if we ran into the rest of the fam, great, if not, also fine. We stopped for lunch, which was fabulous, and wandered around, looking at all the little shoppie-shops. Volterra is apparently huge on alabaster, so there was a lot of really beautiful alabaster sculpture in the stores, along with the usual art along the theme of "Tuscany is freaking gorgeous, isn't it?"

As luck would have it, we did in fact meet up with the fam, but they had not had lunch yet, so they went off to find lunch, and we went to the torture museum, which was interestingly gross. Apparently to be considered a town in Tuscany you have to have a torture museum, because there seemed to be one in EVERY town we went to or drove past. It got to be a little creepy, I must say. Here's a good portion of the gang on the street in Volterra...

This is also a good depiction of a phenomenon we have all been witnessing for many years: Overactive Grandmother Photography Syndrome. Mormor LOVES taking pictures, and needless to say, being in Italy with her family set her on overdrive. Someone would stop to take a picture, and it would...activate her camera powers, and she'd have to take the same picture.

WHY MORMOR IS AWESOME, EXHIBIT A:

Me: Mormor, you know, we can all SHARE these pictures when we get home.

Mormor: Well, I know, but mine is BETTER.

Mormor rules. (As does this picture of Mom and Annie in Volterra.)From Volterra, we went on to San Gimignano,which is marked by it's tall towers. San Gimignano has a LOT of up.As you can see, some of the family made the trek to the top of one of the towers. This was where the meeting up and synchronizing of watches system started to evolve in earnest. Usually, the adults would break up according to what they wanted to do, and Sarah and I would go off to wander around. So that's what we did, occasionally picking up other family members along the way. We saw so many great shops, and had our first experience with these frightening toilets that were basically spiffed-up holes in the ground. There was literally a hole in the ground, with ridged places to put your feet, and the flush button was on the wall behind you. If you're a girl and have had to pee in the woods before, you see about eleven issues with this already. But, it was kind of exciting in it's own way.

My boss is a big Italiophile, and before I left, he told me I should go a specific gelato shop in San Gimignano, which I could find by "going to the top of the highest hill, towards the tower, and it's on your left." I have since showed him this picture and he thinks it's the right one, and the gelato WAS fabulous, so if you're ever in San Gimignano and you want some fly gelato, go to the top of the highest hill...San Gimignano also featured two really wonderful "Life in Italy" scenes that we particularly liked...the first was a set of Carabinieri (police), who for the entire time we were in San Gimignano (about half a day), stood next to their van, which looked equipped to deal with any contingency, and did...nothing. They might not have been on duty. For all I know, they just really like wearing uniforms. So that was great. We also loved the Old People Storage Facility, which was a beautiful, ornately decorated little alcove along the main plaza, where every person over the age of 75 whiled away their afternoon. So neat.

Day Two took us to Siena, where the famous horse races had just happened a week previously. Siena is just a fantastic spot...there is this huge open plaza (where the aforementioned races take place) ringed with restaurants, and the streets that radiate away from it are full of beautiful shops and great restaurants. I mean, what more do you need? By the way, the weather was like this almost every day. Le sigh. The trip started out in a sort of haphazard way when we could NOT find parking in any of the close-by lots, and thus had to park somewhere in Germany and find our way back. I'm almost not kidding. We happened to catch a bus and relay to its driver where we wanted to wind up, so it all worked out. Sarah and I were wandering around when I caught sight of this poster:
EEEEEEEEE! PUCCI EXHIBIT! AND ONLY TWO EUROS ADMISSION! So we went in and had some mandatory fun, and luckily Sarah understood the awesomeness of Pucci even though much of what was on display was crazy ass stuff from early in his career like voluminous pantaloons with giant points sticking out mid thigh (oh yeah, you heard me). I also found the perfect present for fellow Pucci fan The Lucy - a beautiful museum book of the exhibit with all kinds of info on Pucci's life and career. Siena, as many towns do, has a SPECTACULAR duomo (cathedral). This picture? Is great. It also does not even scratch the top layer of ice on the iceberg of awe that you feel as you stand in front of it. And here we have me being fabulous and European on the Duomo's back steps.The next day, we took the fabulousity parade on to Cortona, which was also about a zillion years old and had lots of up, as shown here by the lovely Sarah on one of the many stairways in the town.
The shopping. Was. Fabulous. I bought stationery, a beautiful purse, and we had a great time lounging around and checking out all the shops, which were really of a huge variety. We all had lunch at one of the many cafes, which was absolutely fabulous.However, when the rest of the fam decided to go have dinner later in the day, Sarah and I stayed at one of the cafes to get hammered. Really hammered:
Can't you just see Dad thinking "boy...having kids? GREAT idea."? I AGREE. Thanks Dad! In any case, here's what Cortona's main square looks like...and actually I have no idea where the photographer was in this, since it's from an elevation. Hm. In any case, the little arched open air space in the middle-ish of the photo was where the sane members of the fam had dinner. You can see Mom standing at the edge of the wall, under the white umbrella, wearing light pants and a dark top. The next day, what with some recovery being necessary, the gang broke up for assorted adventures. Dad went for a walk around nearby Bucine, Mom went to Pienza, and Sarah and I went with Aunt C and Uncle T to Ambra to check out this AMAZING shoe outlet and have a coffee in the town. Man, Tuscany really does nothing but "picturesque"...and smokers. We sat near this quartet of older women who all looked like they had been made of old leather, and they were smoking the most horrendous ciggies I have ever encountered. If I had to guess, I'd assume they were made of pure tar. Blech! But no worries, they departed soon after we arrived, and we could toodle around at our leisure. At said fabulous shoe outlet, Pratesi, I bought two pairs of shoes...a great pair of loafers for myself, and a pair of dress shoes for Speed, who did not go, because he does not fly. Now, Speed and I have the same size foot (mine are huge for a woman, his are average for a man - the math works), so you can imagine a.) the convenience of it all and b.) the inconvenience of trying to explain to an older Italian gentleman why I was trying on men's shoes when I was clearly not a man. Good times. I later went back to the outlet to pick up a beautiful chocolate brown purse in ostrich leather. I would kill to live near that store.

The next day, we all took the train to Firenze (Florence), where it was rainy but still fun. Sarah and I did some major window shopping, and some minimal actual shopping. We looked for a breakfast place, but kind of got foiled, so Sarah and I broke off and soon after, stopped at this cafe, where Sarah took this picture of me that I really like for no substantive reason. We continued wandering, passing through the sometimes-open-air, sometimes-not, market where we got a few items for Sarah's boy, and proceeded on to the Ponte Vecchio (which sounds really cool but simply means "old bridge"). Can we take a moment to wonder why anglicization of words is so popular? Where would you rather go...Florence, or Firenze? The Ponte Vecchio, or The Old Bridge? FEH, I say.

The Ponte Vecchio has goldsmiths' shops all over it, the windows of which you can see here. And let me tell you...these people know what displaying jewelry is all about. I have never seen anything so sparkly and shiny and glittering in my life. You can insert all the jokes about my attention span vis a vis shiny objects you want, but until you have gone there and see these storefronts, I will ignore you cheerfully.

The next day, needless to say, we met up with a bunch of Norwegians.

Yeah, you heard me.

Some of Mom's friends from when she lived in Norway were visiting Firenze at the same time that we were in Italy, so they came out to Iesolana to hang out and toodle around. Later in the day we went for a wander in Bucine, which was very nice, and had some fabulous gelato. The next day, we were again split up, with half of us staying around Iesolana and Bucine and the rest going to the dreamstate of Cinque Terra, 5 little towns that dangle over the ocean. The scene is amazing:

The last day we set out for Rome by way of Oriveto, where we saw the most magnificent Duomo of the week:
In-credible. The whole town was very sweet, and we had a fabulous Umbrian lunch midday. I also bought these really cool bone earrings that...actually kind of defy description, so I'll have to put up a picture at some point, instead. From Oriveto, we went on to Rome, where it was so hellaciously humid we more or less had to talk ourselves into going out of the hotel. Mom, Dad, Sarah and I went for dinner in Rome and wandered briefly through St. Peter's Square. Naturally, we harassed some of the Swiss Guards by asking "clever" questions about whether the Pope was in town in order to get them to come over to us, only to feel REALLY stupid when the people near us just hollered to them and asked if they could take a picture.

I could go on and on about the food and the people and the scenery and all that stuff, but...you've heard it. You've heard how fresh the produce is and how amazing the wine is. You've heard about the Italian people and how much they rule. It kind of defies true, accurate description. To stand in front of some of these buildings and marvel over the fact that they were made by people instead of coming down from the heavens can't be described. Go to Italy, do more than 10 days, go everywhere, travel, get out, do everything. I can't say it enough.

"Project Runway is my Fantasy Football."

Time for episode 2 of Project Runway with Josie and The Lucy! Refresher course: Josie in black, The Lucy in blue, winner in purple, loser in red.

The Challenge: Design a TWO PIECE ensemble for Sarah Jessica Parker's goddamn fashion line, Bitten, which you can Google yourself because I'm not endorsing that hack. Plus...TEAM CHALLENGE!

Brief interlude in the form of discussion of SJP: Can I just take a moment here to talk about how effing sick of SJP I am? She's worshiped as a freaking fashion icon for a role SHE WAS DRESSED FOR BY CRAZY ASS PAT FIELDS and consistently demonstrates a distinct not-getting-it-ness as far as dressing appropriately for the occasion. I respect her willingness to put it out there, much like my basis for loving Posh, but there is something about her that just makes me want to shake her fans and yell at them. AND I don't love her line nearly enough for it to live up to even the most mildly thumbs-uppy reviews, and her perfume commercials suck. I'm going to go ahead and admit here that this might be a case of Josie Irrationally Hating People, but unfortunately PR has compounded the issue with calling her a fashion icon which I think is a title handed out too easily in the first place. STOP IT PEOPLE.

Oh, SJP...how I loathe thee. Like you, I don't get what's so great about her. Yeah, she does put it out there, but as far as I'm concerned, looking at her clothes is a million times better than looking at her face, so maybe that's why people notice her style? I do have to give her props for wanting to create a fashionable line that everyone can afford. I think that's tops. I've been watching the show with friends and when they were like, "What would you say to her?" I said, "Nose to meet you." It was pretty funny. But I digress.

Christian/Carmen...oh dear, it seems that Christian kind of has A Thing. Which is fine. If it stays away from the costumey, which this and his last item are dangerously close to. This does not mean I HATE it, but I WILL say I think its unlikely to flatter a lot of body types particularly with the dress, which was quite clingy. I think I would like it more if the sleeves were entirely grey. What scared me the most about this dress/jacket combo was that it made a MODEL look as though she was pregnant, and if it makes a stick thin person look pregnant, well then what the hell would *I* look like in it? Kind of scary how he thought he was going to get away with that. It's totally 80s, and not in a good way. I appreciate Christian's over-the-topedness but he needs to reign himself in. Big time. I liked how she made Carmen cry.Ricky/Jack...these pictures are definitely not capturing the full effect of these dresses, because this color was fucking stunning and it's pretty blah here. I don't love the belt's dangly bit, because I feel like it's kind of a boho vibe while the dress is not. If not for the dangly bit, sold! I did think it was kind of a cop out to have a belt for a second piece, however...I mean...it IS a second piece, but when I think of a two piece outfit, I think of two pieces of clothing, not one piece of clothing and an accessory. While I agree that this isn't technically a 2 piece, I have to say that I was nearly creaming myself when I saw their outfit. The color was absolutely gorgeous, I loved the way the dress moved and I also kind of dug the belt. I was disappointed that they weren't considered to be the top or in the top 2. It was lovely. Did I mention the color, and how gorgeous it was? The pic does it zero justice.
Elisa/Sweet P...I keep liking these things Elisa churns out waaaay more than I feel like she deserves. The "spit marking" thing, however...ugh. No. You do NOT spit on shit you expect me to wear. Ew ew ew. I think the dress has the same issue that Christian's did...kind of clingy and unforgiving, which makes it iffy for a mass marketing concept. The cape is kind of cool though, I have to say. I really should investigate capes and see how I REALLY feel about them. What I REALLY loved about this pair, though, was Sweet P OPENLY thinking Elisa was a possibly dangerous nutbar. Good stuff. This was a great combo, both of people and of clothing. Sweet P is such a cutie, isn't she? It cracked me up when she burst out laughing right in Elisa's face. Too funny. But anyway, I did like their combo. I thought the dress was really pretty, especially the sleeves. So pretty. The cape was pretty but it was a little too over the top for me. I also do not know how I feel about capes.


Kit/Chris...okay, cute, probably not mass market friendly, and I didn't even remember this walking down the runway. I don't really object to the outfit qua the outfit, but it seems very boring for a fashion competition. Give it some snazz! This is kind of like what I'd imagine Audrey Hepburn's teenage daughter wearing. Kit is awfully juvenile in her design, isn't she? Not that it's a bad thing, but most of the clothes I've seen in the juniors department are not usually on the higher fashion end. The outfit is boring, boring boring. And the hat is just stupid.
Rami/Jillian...glad to see that Rami's drapeyness can at least be adapted to look different. I like him! I am not quite ready to sign on to the brown purse, but the jacket is cute...same idea as Kit & Chris' but MUCH more interesting. That being said, it does have the same marketability issue and it's not SUPER exciting. Love the hair with the outfit. Too boring. I was not really a big fan of this when I saw it and in the pic it looks even more boring. The hair is great though. I just want to see something other than a black outfit, please.Victorya/Kevin...for the second week in row, the judges were waxing poetic about something I just did not get. I thought this was so sloppy looking and ill defined...you could hardly even see that little vest amongst all the voluminous fabric AND I didn't love that plaid with that grey. I liked both colors separately, but together, no thanks. I just didn't get it. Well, it looks like we really do have a little Vera Wang doppleganger on our hands. Vera Wang is great, but we only need one of her. Like you, I don't get what's so great about this outfit. It's boring and ugly and I don't know too many women who want to look like a trashbag wearing a tiny vest. I just don't understand!Marion/Steven...this was a hot mess. I think it might just have been a poor fabric choice, but ugh, lord. The whole thing was just too hippy dippy for me AND more importantly for the Bitten line. I was glad to see Marion go, too, because he seemed like a serial killer to me and made me nervous. Blech...what the hell was he thinking? This is just terrible. I have no idea why she picked his outfit to begin with anyway...well, maybe they needed something tragic so that they could kick someone off the show. Marion reminded me of Pinocchio. Seriously, I kept shouting, "I'm a real boy!" during the entire episode.

Project Runway Premiere

One of the many reasons that I love The Lucy is that she is as insane about Project Runway as I am. It's not that we're not in good company or anything, but we're insane about it in more or less the same way. So, during the season, we compose these ginormous and probably overly analytical emails to discuss the designers, the dresses, and whatever else comes to mind. So, I've decided to put them up here for debate and consideration. The Lucy's comments in blue, mine in black, winner's name in purple and loser's name in red. Enjoy!

The Challenge: Design a dress that shows who you are as a designer using a variety of drool-worthy fabrics from Mood that you must wrestle away from your opponents. It's the nice, get-things-going gimme challenge.

Ricky...The lace on this neckline made me so crazy. I really liked this dress but for that one detail. However, I don't know how amazing it was designwise...it was pretty but not revolutionary. I have a love/hate thing going on with this dress. It's very well made and I kind of like the pretty black and silver fabric as well. But, it's super boring, and the lace is troublesome. It's pretty but...ugh. So hard to explain. It looks like ass in the picture though.
Simone...I hated that yellow with the pink/peach and cream. The shrug...I don't even know. Boring shoes. Once Nina said the magic "construction" word, I knew she was going down, and Nina was right, too...crappy construction. This is probably the worst thing I've ever seen. It's so fucking ugly, plus it doesn't even make sense. What is that jacket? Oh my God...when I saw this look I was just dumbfounded at how terrible it is. I don't understand how you can design anything and think this is all right!
Steven...I loved this on the runway and thought it had a very Dior look to it, but in the pic I am not in love with it. Not sure which is most accurate - the TV or the picture. But the cut is excellent, and the bouffy little bustle in the back was a cool detail, so I liked it...I would have liked to see it in another color to really elevate it above something fairly basic. When I saw this on the runway, I loved it too. I still like it. The bustle was adorable and it's just pretty and ladylike which I really like.
Sweet P...hate the straps, don't like the way it narrows at the hem, didn't have good movement. No thanks. Yes, Sweet P., every woman wants to look like a barrel. I kind of like the color though.
Victorya...I hate when people wear their bra straps falling down, so this dress was dead to me from inception. Ok, I have no idea how this was in the top three. It's as ugly as hell and it's pretty boring. A black dress with a big flower on it. Wow.

Kevin...I can't even explain my boredom with this. First of all the shoes don't match. Second of all, the silhouette doesn't do much for me, and I don't like the brocade-y bustier aspect...but I also don't know what to do with it. MAYBE make it that red, but that would bore me to actual DEATH so I don't know. Not bad, not good, just boring. What's pathetic about this is that I don't even remember seeing it on the show. Not memorable at all.
Kit...okay first of all how cool are those shoes??? That being said, again I say no thank you sir. Those prints are not okay together, and while I am not anti-one-sleeve, this is poorly executed. Weird proporion, and I feel like the design makes the black and grey print look very juniors department. I didn't like this one either. I does look very juniors, doesn't it? I also think the one boob thing is pretty ugly. I don't like that shit at all. The shoes are very cool though.
Marion...Santino gone horribly horribly wrong. No thank you. That is all. *vomits* (<-- Why I love The Lucy.)Rami...oy, those shoes, but the draping was really spectacular. Rich predicts that this is what we'll see from Rami until he gets booted, but I dunno. I wish it had been in a more vibrant color! The draping is great but once again the one boob thing is terrible. Also, in the back it was a nightmare because it looked as though she had a big, lopsided ass. I think it's pretty, but really, it's pretty safe. I hate how they want to see different stuff yet reward designers when they do a safe piece. Ugh.

Carmen...something in me likes this top...a different sleeve maybe, and a cooler orange on the little ruffly frill whosie. The pants, I am not ready to sign on for personally but I think they work with the outfit overall. I'm sorry, but this is way to Aladdin for me. Costumey, indeed. I just don't like this at all. The sleeves are all fucked up and it looks silly. Who's wearing this? I like her hair though.
Chris...The only thing I like about this is the bow at the back...the rest is pretty but mundane. I like the fabric on the bodice though, and the bow as high fashion I feel is not going to cut it....just because I like a well placed pouffy bow doesn't make it high fashion or innovative. I really like this one. It's very dramatic and elegant, and I love the color. The print is pretty too. I sort of wonder if he held back because of the whole costume background. I kind of get that sense. I am loving him so far though. I think he has a lot of potential to go far.
Christian with the crazy hair...for some reason, I hate this far less in picture form than I did on the show. I actually like it all right here, although if that skirt is actually asymmetrical like it looks, I like it far less. The biggest issue for me is the weird fun-fur aspect of the black stuff on it. I don't get it and I don't like it. It's too bad they didn't show the back of this, though, because that was masterfully made. Looking at it now, I have to agree with you. I do like it in the picture, although when it was on the runway I could not stop focusing on the sleeves. They were really distracting. One was poofier than the other and the pattern was all fucked up. Not good. I do agree that the fur kind of cheapens this because this is actually a really classy look. I lurve her hair too. So pretty!
Elisa...I actually thought the way that it only had one seam was very cool, because the part that wasn't fucked up by that train was fairly pretty...I think it would be fly with a short skirt and NEVER BEING NEAR THOSE BOOTS. Hesus Christo, did they ship that shit right in from the 80s or what?!? Once again, a troublesome piece. While I love the color and the one seam thing, that train was fucking ridiculous. And those boots...oh my word. Terrible. It's too much. And that woman is batshit fucking crazy.
Jack the vaguely creepy plastic looking man...this I loved. I think the picture really doesn't do justice to how vibrant and pretty the blue on it was. I am a sucker for black and white print. [Speed] said he thought this guy would go far, and says he is his favorite so far. I kind of agree but a.) I don't want to get caught in a KEITH situation and b.) I am not quiiiite ready to declare a fave one ep in (I don't think [Speed] is 100% declared, but he feels strongly about it). Now see, I like this but I think it's awfully boring. It's really well made and cute, but predictable. I see stuff like this in Macy's all the time, so while I agree that he has the potential to go very far, I also think he has the potential to be very boring.

Jillian...Also, you forgot Jill's dress! I thought it was pretty with the big poofy skirt, but I wasn't really into the loud red color. It seemed like too much to me, but she really has good construction skills, even if she looks like a huge bitch. I did, and that was dumb, because I thought it was a great dress! I actually liked the red and the pouffy, very dramatic.