Thursday, January 20, 2011

Useful Products and/or Poison

My family has a habit of taking up residence in places that are very beneficial for me, which I'm sure is their number one objective. I'd like to take a moment to thank my sister for living in the North End, allowing me to live with her during school nights, and my parents for buying a place in Florida and allowing me to come down and invade their personal space on Spring Break. I have spent the past couple breaks with my parents in Florida, and these visits have conveniently overlapped with my birthday, which is great because a lot more of my social life than I'm comfortable admitting revolves around my parents and I get sad when they go away for long periods. Last year, my grandmother, who also has a winter house in the area, couldn't decide what to get me for my birthday, so she took me to this cute little import shop in Venice, FL called Parichat House and told me to pick something out. I chose a gorgeous hammered silver necklace, and Parichat (of the House), polished it up for me before sending us on our merry way. She used this weird powdery stuff to clean it, and it worked so well that both Mormor and I were fascinated. We bought a box of it to try out.

I used it yesterday to clean the necklace that Rich got me for our six month anniversary (aww), which I LOVE and which is a total bitch to clean, because it has this lovely floral stamp with very fine lines and detailing. I scrubbed a little of the powder onto a toothbrush and worked it right into the pendant, and it worked amazingly well. Of course, the problem is that I'm not sure how to find this stuff online, so you might just need to go to Parichat House. I will probably stop by there when I go for a visit in March, so I'll ask Parichat what the scoop is. Of course, part of why it's blocking my Google-fu is because I can't read Chinese, and the writing on the box is all in Chinese. Unfortunately, that means I also can't tell if it's deadly, deadly poison. For all I know, I'm polishing my jewelry with arsenic. But would they put arsenic in such a pretty box?
Probably not poison.

Why don't we package stuff like that? The other silver polish I use - the purple gunk Wright's makes - is just blue and white plastic and all it does is like, tell you what it does. LAME. In any case, I'm going to throw up the props here and try to find out where to find it, because I highly, highly recommend this to any jewelry wearers.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I Have a Book Coming Out! Be the First One on Your Block to Get One!

This summer, my friend Rose asked me and our friend Dr. Bill if we wanted to start a small press. Since I was working and about to start my grad program, I said "sure! I was hoping someone would find a use for all this free time I have!" For someone reasonably good at acting like a productive member of society, I have pretty poor decision making skills. Momentary lunacy aside, we did in fact go through with this, and at long last, our very first anthology is coming out!

The interesting thing about this is that Bill and Rose are big fantasy fans, where I am really not, and that has made this anthology a real learning experience for me. Rose picked the theme of "elves and love" which I have spent most of the time since making fun of, but we've gotten terrific writing and a lot of fascinating perspectives on the theme, so the joke is on me. I did wind up writing a story for this anthology as well as editing it...but it's not directly about elves. You'll have to BUY YOUR COPY TODAY to see what I mean. (See how slick that was? Marketing firms, take a number please.) We've already received several good reviews, which is awesome!

One note: for all my jokes about elf porn? It kind of looks like elf porn.
The cover was done by the talented Duncan Eagleson, who has worked with (at a guess) everyone in the artistic universe. It's lovely, though a bit porny. The funny part is that it does not, in fact, contain elf porn, which is either going to be a relief or a huge disappointment, depending on the buyer. It DOES contain some great stories, so I hope you will consider buying a copy. You'll be supporting me, small business, and independent publishing (and elves?), and you'll have my eternal thanks. You can pre-order it through the Pink Narcissus website right now, and in a couple weeks it will be available through Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Our next anthology is a collection of stories about what comes "after the happily ever after" of legends, fairy tales and myths, entitled Rapunzel's Daughters and it is going to be EXCELLENT. If you are interested in knowing more about Pink Narcissus and our publications, please bookmark our website and like us on Facebook. On the website, you can also read the "Chronicles of Silence," a serial that we three editors composed to give people an idea of our literary tastes.

Monday, January 17, 2011

No Seriously, What Are They Up To?

I present, in its entirety and without comment, an email I got from the Floridian Outpost.

From: Dad
Date: Sat, Jan 15, 2011 at 5:39 PM
Subject: My new business!
To: Josie Brown

Ken

Sent from my iPhone


PS - Okay, one comment...it's really the "sent from my iPhone" that does it, isn't it?

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Accepting that Designated Book Day is Unlikely Day!: Learning to Fly, by Victoria Beckham

So, here I am, foolishly thinking that I'll be able to like, read and stuff at my job as a receptionist, but in the three hours I had this book out on my desk, no less than seven people gave me crap about reading a book about Victoria Beckham. These people, I can only assume, are pitiably bereft of taste and sense. Listen, people, when the universe gives you someone who not only willingly bears the title of "Posh Spice" but then goes on to recreate herself as a fashion designing, Beckham marrying wearer of five inch, ZERO HEELED shoes, you pay attention, because this person is clearly an alien recently arrived from some advanced, loopy culture, a secret superninjagenius, or someone so balls-out bizarre as to be comedy gold.

This is not a great work of literature, but you don't need me to tell you that. What it IS, however, is a startlingly sweet memoir that tells the story of an interesting life in a funny and wholly endearing tone. I make no secret of my love for Victoria Beckham - I think she's hysterical - but I was surprised to find myself thinking that one need NOT be a fan beforehand. Some might find her style of writing somewhat insipid, particularly if you don't care for conversational tone in your books, but I am inclined to think that anyone would walk away from this book with the feeling of having had a peasant conversation with an interesting person.

Victoria Beckham's progression through life is pretty well-known if you swish an eyeball over any kind of pop culture magazine, are a Manchester United fan, or survived the Spice Girl onslaught of the 90s. She was a Spice Girl, met David Beckham, became a solo artist and fashion presence, and has remained on the edge of the glitterati-sphere ever since. There is a lot about her I didn't know, however, including her disordered eating and the truly horrifying threats of violence and kidnapping that the Beckhams endured.

Her frankness does her a great service as she talks about all of this. I really enjoyed her perspective on fame and the work required to achieve it. Rather than the usual gloss we get from magazines and fluffy interviews, Beckham freely admits that she both worked impossibly hard to achieve some kind of stage fame, and that she made many errors along the way. Even when she was in the Spice Girls, there were tough times and exhausting work schedules, and she outlines all of this while providing a glimpse into the industry perspective on the girl band and the way management handled them.

This same illuminating approach can be devastating as she discusses the rockiest parts of her life. Her account of her disordered eating includes both the physical effects and the chillingly mundane slide into those behaviors. She shares her struggle without glamorizing it or turning herself into a freakshow. Even more harrowing is her account of the threats received against her infant son, Brooklyn, and the bodyguard who betrayed the family. Originally taken on in response to those threats, the bodyguard was actually spying on the Beckham family, and later attempted to sell his records to biographer Andrew Morton. Writing this part of the book must have been very painful for Victoria, because her panic still comes through the pages years after the incident. I can't imagine how scary it must have been to have someone you trust implicitly turn on you so completely, AND to realize that he'd been conspiring against you through your entire relationship.

Overall, this is a breezy read of middling literary quality that makes up for it's weaknesses with the charm of it's subject. Of course, as an autobiography, it is one side of a story - I'm sure some of it's actors would have some complaints about their portrayal - but it's an interesting one, and gives some depth to a figure usually seen in gossip magazines alone.

Crossposted at the Outpost.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Sometimes I Wonder What Mom and Dad Get up to Down There in Florida

Dad: Can't wait for 8:00
Me: Why? What's at 8?
Dad: Sara Palin's Alaska!!!
Me: Dad DO NOT WATCH THAT TRIPE
Dad: ...where Sarah cuts down trees and operates heavy equipment in the bush!!!
Dad: I only have a few minutes until I tune in!
Me: How many drinks HAVE you had?
Dad: You'll be watching won't you?
Me: Shit no. lol
Dad: What?!?!
{conversation about coffee}
Dad: Got to go. You know why.
Me: You are not seriously watching that are you?
Dad: You should tune in so you know what the 'other side' is watching.
Me: Dad, NO ONE is watching that.
Dad: You should watch too.
Me: It just got canned because even Tea Partiers don't give a shit.
Dad: So you know first hand what she's saying/doing.
Me: Le sigh. I'll rely on you. We're watching football.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Bonus Book Saturday! Heidegger's Glasses by Thaisa Frank

I got this book for two reasons, first because I have a (quickly) passing interest in Heideggerian philosophy, and secondly because it was free in the Kindle store. I needed something to test the Kindle app on my new iPad (bow before my powah! (also Zod!)), having tried out the iBooks reader already, because I plan to use my iPad to knock about 40 pounds of books and computer off my commuting backpack as I head in to Boston during the semester. My husband totally won Christmas with this iPad, you guys. I’ll probably do an article on iBooks vs. the Kindle app in the near future, because it tends to be one of the first questions people ask.

I’d classify Heidegger’s Glasses as a good beach or travel read for the nerdy set. Some of it is kind of heavy handed and it’s a gloss of Heideggerian thought, but it’s also a fairly well written, interesting story that explores the way relationships changed during and after the Shoah. I’d actually recommend this for younger college-level philosophy students confronted with Heidegger’s Introduction to Metaphysics, which can be a challengng text. It’s a quick read that hammers on a couple key concepts from Heidegger’s phenomenological approach, ex. “falling out of the world” and seeing things anew so you can understand them as phenomena presenting themselves to you, separate from what additional utility or interpretation you pile on top of them. There’s also a mildly cute reference to and reversal of Plato’s Cave that I appreciated. [NB: I'd also recommend to those delving into phenomenology the excellent Introduction to Phenomenology by Robert Sokolowski, who has a gift for translating complex philosophical contexts into unpackable English. I took a course on Phenomenology at Assumption without knowing anything about it, and Sokolowski's book is one of the only reasons I got through it. The other reason was a brief guest appearance from Prof. Molly Flynn, who studied under Sokolowski, is a genius, and is worth going to Assumption College for all by herself.]

The story focuses on a community known as the Scribes, a group of people spared from the concentration camps by their proficiency in languages. Frank pings the occult undertones of the Third Reich here, explaining that a clairvoyant had told the Reich that the dead demanded answers to the letters they were forced to write before they were killed, encouraging their family and friends to come to the camps. These letters had simply been accumulating after a certain point, and the Compound of the Scribes was established within an old mine to answer them in the language they were written. All that said, not much responding went on in the Compound, because there was disagreement in the ranks about the validity of the project. It was semi-abandoned, and left to police and fend for itself.

Early on, one of the ostensible Nazi guards, Lodenstein, is summoned to Goebbels’ office to receive an order. A letter had been received from Martin Heidegger to his optometrist, Asher Englehardt, with whom he had taught at Freiburg before the Reich came to power, talking about philosophy and requesting his pair of glasses. Lodenstein is presented with a box of glasses seized from the shop and the letter, and tasked with making Heidegger feel like all was well with his friend, who had in fact been sent to Auschwitz. When Lodenstein returns to the Compound, he and Elie Schacten, his lover and Den Mother of the Scribes, are torn on how to answer this letter. It is eventually answered, but due to a series of chaotic events, it is released incorrectly and prematurely by the bumbling other guard at the Compound, and arouses the suspicions of Heidegger and his wife, who demand to see Englehardt in person.

I don’t want to spoil the rest of the story by detailing too much more of it, but I will say that the Frank provides a wonderful assortment of ways to understand the changed perception that is integral to Heidegger’s philosophy. The story is full of shifting understanding, either of surroundings or objects or people, and this only develops the somewhat heavy-handed references to Heidegger’s “falling out of the world.” (People are always falling out of places and things are falling and everything is just falling all the time.) There’s a lot to be found in this book, though I wish that Frank had a better editor and had delved a little deeper; this had the potential to be a great book. There are letters “from” the people going to their deaths interspersed throughout the book, and as far as I am concerned, I think they could have been axed entirely. Though they do show a progression that mirrors both the breakdown of the Nazi powerhouse and the changes in the Compound and its citizens, the emphasis placed throughout the book on how little responding the Scribes actually do removes a lot of their emotional heft and value to the story.

Definitely worth your time, particularly if you’re travelling or on winter break and want to keep your mind kind of sharp but not too sharp. I’ve toyed with the idea of starring these reviews instead of giving the vague “heyyyyy yeah this is kind of neat but I don’t like stories about birds” type summaries I tend to leave, but I’m actually kind of terrible at perspective. My friend Erin called me a “person relativist” this semester and though she’s not ALL the way right, she is a little bit right. I tend to give everything a fourteen day pass or something, so everything that isn’t actively horrible gets a base level of like and then it takes me a month and a half to adjust it. Basically, everything that wasn’t written by Linda Bruckheimer would get 5 stars, and then someone would be like “hey, how did you like _________?” and I’d be all “Eh.” and then they’d show me the review where I was handing out five stars left, right and center, and I’d feel like a jackass, so now I just write about my feelings. It’s lame but more honest.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Book Friday! American On Purpose, by Craig Ferguson (CBR-III: 1)

I first came across Craig Ferguson in a monologue from his The Late Late Show where he was doing something I hold near and dear to my heart: crapping on airlines.

It was funny when I first saw it, and even funnier when Continental Airlines kidnapped my friend Ashley for three days because they’d double booked fifteen flights out of Houston, thus wreaking havoc on basically every airport that carries Continental flights. I should actually point out that it was funny once I found out that Ash had made it out of the Continental netherworld alive and in Houston, though I was still sad that she did not make it to my place at all.

A little later on, I saw a bit from Ferguson that was equal parts funny and important. It was a monologue that he gave before the 2008 election, and he wrapped it up by saying “if you don’t vote, you’re a moron…it is your DUTY to vote.” It’s worth a watch, because this stuff is essential, and I love his encouragement to get out and research candidates and get your ass out to the voting booth.

Craig Ferguson is an American who worked hard to get that way, and it shows in the way he discusses politics and the way he talks about America. His autobiography, however, shows that he has not always been so focused and clear. I expected more humor from American On Purpose, because he IS such a funny guy, but got very different story.

Ferguson spent much of his formative life completely obliterated on a variety of drugs and alcohol. His account of this harrowing time is certainly infused with humor, but it’s also a fascinating look into the havoc that alcoholism can wreak on your life and how helpless you can be before it. Before finally going to rehab, Ferguson’s fledgling career, friendships and life had been torn to the ground by his disease. He is remarkably clear minded about it now, but it’s obvious that he understands how incredibly broken he was before he got help.

This book is also a love letter to the two homes of Ferguson’s life: Scotland and America. I think his adoration for both places is particularly special for the experiences he describes; he was traveling throughout Europe during one of the most creative and exciting periods in recent history, but he still came back to Scotland and was inspired by the dream of going to America. It goes to show that an emotional connection to a certain place is about more than the universally understood attractions. Ferguson’s story is an inspiring one for a variety of reasons and is well worth your time. It’s great to see such a remarkable story of redemption.
Crossposted at The CBR-III Outpost