Showing posts with label Swedish Pirate Captain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Swedish Pirate Captain. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

QED.

My Senior Seminar paper assignment for Prof. Dobski:

Allan Bloom claims in The Closing of the American mind that "Openness, as currently conceived, is a way of making surrender to whatever is most powerful, or worship of vulgar success, look principled....If openness means to 'go with the flow,' it is necessarily an accommodation to the present. That present is closed to doubt about so many things impeding the progress of its principles that unqualified openeness to it would mean forgetting the despised alternatives to it, knowledge of which makes ups aware of what is doubtful in it. True openness means closedness to all the charms that make us comfortable with the present."

Please write a paper defending this position using any of the readings that we discussed in the first part of the course to support your case...paper is to be 5 to 6 pages in length.

And Coworker Joe's response:

Openness as Closedness
by Josie Brown

Thing X is Opposite-Of-Thing-X [Orwell,1948]. QED.

Monday, March 30, 2009

2009 Budget = SOLVED

Last week, something great happened. The Swedish Pirate Captain - also known as Work Friend Joe - came around the corner with a paper in his hand. "JOSIE," he said, "I'm so glad you're here today! I solved the budget." Clearly, this was going to be excellent.

For those of you who can't read the writing (clicking will make it bigger), Work Friend Joe's brilliant budget plan for 2009 begins with "Giving Billions to Goldman Sachs." Then, a spur heads off wherein we "Appoint Goldman employees to key government positions." The other leg of the plan heads down by way of "Solar-Powered Healthcare" to "REPUBLICAN ROAD TO RECOVERY," then terminates with "Sarah Palin in 2012."

Is it so much less clear and/or logic-based than what's actually being offered by the Feds?

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Wake Up America!

Towards the end of this past semester, my ConLaw professor had some kind of break and delivered this...glorious lecture to sum up the course to that point. It was absolutely fantastic, a real testament to the power of the English language, in-depth political thought and the value of bringing political awareness and consideration into your every day life. I saw him in Charlie's a couple days afterwards and told him if he lectured every day like that I'd take every class he ever taught. It was that good.

I often think and talk about how unfortunate it is that no one in American public life really deals in oratory anymore...actual linguistic dynamicism tends to be abandoned for the sake of volume and airtime on the news programs. This is why I get all excited when someone like one of my professors brings the verbeage hard, but I PARTICULARLY love it when an American politician does it, and Dennis Kucinich? Just brought the oration hardcore.



I am in such stupid love with him it's ridiculous. Thanks to the Swedish Pirate Captain for linking me since I missed it the first go-round.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Best Thing About This Goddamned Election = Commentary From Coworkers

I was toodling around the Internets yesterday and came across an interesting article via Quizlaw about McCain saying that if elected, he'd like to appear before Congress periodically to take and answer questions, British Parliament style. Needless to say, I immediately fell off my chair from the shock of agreeing with our very own John "Fighty" McCain on something, but once I regained my composure, I linked The Swedish Pirate Captain the article with appropriate "oh em gee agreementz wif McCain?!?!!111!" sentiment, and after a pause, I got this response:
"that's a hell of a thing to do. I'm now picturing Tony Blair with McCain's face grinning as the house boisterously hoots until someone is passed the microphone. "Would the Commander-in-Chief care to address the heinous alteration in migratory patterns of the red-breasted grosbeak caused by the construction of a federally earmarked coal plant right down the street from where my mother takes her daily walksthankyouverymuchmrpresident?"

and there's more hooting. and mccain raises out of his large chair, flanked by his vp and secretary of state, opens up that large book like they have over in great britain, puts on his glasses, and cleverly remarks, "While the gentleman from Maine's mother may enjoy bird watching and other fine outdoor activities (more hooting), this project is vital to the energy security and stability of our nation in the face of terrorist threats."

That description is actually more awesome than pretty much anything else that has happened in this stupid election cycle. I can't remember if I have mentioned it in this space but I'm becoming increasingly disenchanted with the political process and thus have begun to wonder if I do in fact want to return to full-bore speechwriting when I graduate. I just feel like nothing is changing, and that maybe I'm just perpetuating the problem by helping these people put out the same spin, the same eloquent nothing statements, the same bullshit. I like the vast majority of people I work and have worked with (and those I don't like know it), but what I really want is a client or two strapped to the teeth and ready to burn the bullshit establishment to the ground. I feel we are so far from the discourse that American began with that modern American political society hardly even resembles its former self, and that's a damn shame.

I have started thinking about teaching - college level, of course...we all know how gracefully I deal with children - because in theory I could do that as well as some consulting and writing on the side. More to the point, though, I think that maybe if I could teach one kid to not be such a douchebag, maybe a couple more to abandon textspeak as their chosen means of communication, maybe that could be more important and more beneficial to the world at large than perpetuating a bunch of masturbatory bullshit in a deeply flawed system. I don't know. After all, that means a hell of a lot more school, and as we all know, I have a bad habit of going all ADD Theatre after a while, but I also love being smart and love being in school, so maybe the two could cancel each other out. Hard to say.

In the meantime, I choose to ignore the punditry and 99% of what the candidates emit, and turn instead to the Swedish Pirate Captain's much more enjoyable commentary.